overview

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be hat it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"
From Alice In Wonderland by Lewis Carroll.

It's a sunny afternoon and I'm watching the fields go by as we pull into Wool station. It's the start of the Camp Bestival weekend and we've travelled just two and a half hours from the London Waterloo down to Dorset to partake in Rob Da Bank's new festival revelry.

As we stroll out of the teeny station, a small bus is awaiting our arrival – we pay the driver £3 each, sit down, and in 10 minutes we're driving through the gates of the Lulworth estate. A 10 minute stroll past a field of tipis and the magnificent 17th century castle, and we're at the campsite. Rather than lug our well worn tents with us, we opted to rent one from Tangerine Fields, so within 5 minutes we've dumped our bags and are strolling back towards the festival site. It's unbelievably stress-free. In 15 years of festival-going I have never had it so easy!



The festival site is like a miniature Bestival. Just next to the campsite you have the Heavenly Healing Area and Restival (for reiki, massages and lounging). The Magic Meadow has the Pink Flamingo and Balearic Bollywood bars (pumping music out until 2am), along with the Come Dancing and Singstar tents. Jestival, the comedy tent has been re-named the Laughter Library and there's a bevy of silliness from Time for Tease (champagne and scones, darling) and the Laundrettas. The Castle Field holds the main stage, a cider tent (which I'm disappointed to report is of the Swedish variety), a jousting arena and Lulworth Castle.

It's apparent as soon as we arrive just how many kids there are – an estimated 3,500 out of an 11,000 total capacity. It may sound like some people's idea of hell, but this is great – the site is immaculate, the sun is shining and the grass is green. Kids are playing and laughing while their folks lounge around nearby. There's security, but no ominous Police presence, and the plethora of under-12s brings a completely chilled atmosphere to a beautiful setting. At most festivals there's a tendency to want to get plastered as soon as you arrive, but the whole vibe is one of silly fun rather than collapsing by 3pm.



This is a festival that's made for families, with plenty for the kids, and plenty to keep the not-so-grown-ups happy into the evening. There's a Lost Kids tent in every field and the Kids Garden, snugly hidden behind the castle boasts a big top, bouncy castle, kids disco, theatre workshop and dressing up and the Insect Circus Stage and Museum, which overlooks the sea. There's even a buggy park in the Castle Field.

It is clear on the first night that one set of toilets in each field won't suffice – the toilets are kept super-clean and stocked full of loo roll, and while the queues aren't too long, it's simply not enough for those with the smallest bladders, so impressively on Saturday they bring in another set of toilets.

It's got to be said, coming in from the madness of London, it's unnerving to see fields full of lovely smiley friendly people, laughing and joking and dancing, politely forming orderly queues for toilets, burritos and ice-creams. For the first 6 hours I wasn't entirely sure if it was some Truman Show-style conspiracy. No one pushed past you, no one was rude, no one nicked your place at the bar. A friend left his bag in the middle of the dance floor at the Pink Flamingo bar for 4 hours, and when he came back it was still there. It was like a completely different world – maybe that had something to do with the Alice In Wonderland theme...

Friday evening drew in, and we caught a stonking set from Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip, imposing some genius lyrical satire against a backdrop of funked-up hip-hop, then after supping mojitos on some rather comfortable cushioned chairs at the Pink Flamingo bar, wandered back to see Chuck Berry.



Now let me set the scene. The wind has picked up with a chilly feel, and there's a fine mist of rain in the air. The castle is lit up in shocking pink and there's an 81-year-old rock 'n' roll pioneer on stage playing with an energy that puts most of the hyper 5-year-olds to shame. Maybe he's been at the local scrumpy from the farmer's market in the Kids Garden, but boy can he play. He ploughs through standard after standard, and the crowd is bouncing around and singing along. It's rather an abrupt end as we hear his son, Charles Edward Berry Jr. thank us all for coming and rather than get an encore, the plug is pulled promptly at 11pm.

The Magic Meadow provides plenty of entertainment until 2am and the crowd gets ever sillier now that the kids are all tucked up in bed. Jason John Whitehead watches a woman walk out of the Laughter Library and announces "Are we done yet? Are we all adults in here now?!" and proceeds to lay on some truly hilarious adult humour.



The other theme of the weekend was Hi De Hi (with the Cuban Brothers posing as Bestival Bluecoats) and at 10am on Saturday the campsites are treated to loud tannoys of "Hi De Hi!!!" to which the Pavlovian response of "Ho De Ho" echoes across the fields.

The sun is firmly shining for the weekend now and between acts on the Castle Stage, the throngs are treated to MC Hammer and the Ghostbusters theme among others – so there never seems to be a low point with everyone dancing madly throughout the day regardless of whether there's an act on stage or not.

At 6.15pm, on Saturday Camp Bestival introduces the 'Silent Hour' to allow the weekly tradition of a mass in the church next to the castle, which creates an opportunity to host a Mad Hatter's Tea Party in the Magic Meadow, and utter madness ensues. Half the festival are in full Wonderland garb, the fields are full of Alices, Cheshire Cats, Mad Hatters, Queens, Kings and White Rabbits. There's a croquet game in full swing and a 10 metre-long table adorned with flowers, cakes and fine china. The Queen of Hearts is leading proceedings, ordering all the Alices up onto the table, then inviting various characters to make grand statements through a megaphone whilst the crowd cheer "Hear hear!!" or "Off with his head!".



Dressed as a White Rabbit, I'm approached by another White Rabbit, who says "My dear, I feel I must ask you out for a date, it simply has to happen - but be warned I'll make the date, but I may be very very late!", and hops off. Various characters are offering empty cups of tea and engaging others in conversations of complete nonsense. The Queen of Hearts commandeers the megaphone and involves everyone in a round of Alice In Wonderland-style Play Your Cards Right.

The characters eventually disperse and crowds of Mad Hatters and Queens converge and compare costumes around the fields.

The Cuban Brothers put on a fabulous display of latino-funk camp comedy, making way for a flamboyant show by Hercules and Love Affair, DJ Andy Butler's collaboration with Antony Hegarty of Antony and the Johnsons, who doesn't make an appearance on stage.

Saturday's main event is the Flaming Lips, Oklahoma's purveyors of psychedelic rock, and probably the most inspired choice for Camp Bestival's Saturday headliner. After Wayne Coyne rolls onto the stage in his giant plastic hamster ball, he comments on the fact that they're just the sort of band that would appeal to lots of children, yet they rarely have the chance to play to them.



For those of you not in the know, the 'Lips shows involve puppets, giant balloons, lasers, videos, confetti fireworks and a whole lot of Flaming Lips' fans bouncing around on stage in fancy dress. The most memorable tracks of the set are 'Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots' and the 'Yeah Yeah Yeah' song. Never ones to disappoint, they always play the old favourite 'She Don't Use Jelly' from Cloud Tastes Metallic, only they don't get to that. Just as Wayne walks back on set and the screen behind introduces the song, the plug is pulled. Second night in a row, it seems the sets have been running late to the detriment of the best act of the night.

DJ Yoda fills Balearic Bollywood tent later that night, while Time For Tease plays crowd-pleasers to a packed crowd. Around the fields, people meet, chat, play, and somewhere in the middle of the Magic Meadow a singalong starts up around a piano attended by 10 people and a giant inflatable killer whale.

We take Sunday as the day of rest, and lounge on Cwtch Cushions at Restival. A day of energy conservation pays off as we join a packed tent for The Nextmen. Dom and Brad churn out a mind-blowing glut of tunes – everything from Stevie Wonder to Eminem to Beats International with some stomping bass lines to keep the crowd jumping while the security staff hand out free DJ Yoda hats and buckets of Camp Bestival popcorn.

Quite rightly, Rob Da Bank finishes off proceedings on Sunday night to a packed crowd. Everyone howls at the top of their voices to Dolly Parton's '9 to 5', and the final song from Bugsy Malone...

Maybe it's the wonder of being in some of England's most breathtaking countryside, by the sea, in the midst of a grand castle, maybe the innocence of all those kids has rubbed off on us, but while the whole crowd turns to each other and sings "You give a little love and it all comes back to you..." you realise that you've been immersed in one big magical celebration. Camp Bestival achieved a great thing – creating a unique environment that is a wonderland all of its own.

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