The Lords Of Lightning are truly terrifying and mesmerising at the same time

I, like many others no doubt, am a fan of the weird little things at Glastonbury festival. Especially the unusual, where people have put their skills into creating something that really stands out. This week people from around the world have descended upon a tiny corner of Sheffield to showcase their awesome talents, some truly unbelievable.

I am at the opening press night, where we get to have first ganders along with local residents (allowed in free of charge, probably to make up for the tremendous noise they will be hearing over the next five days!) to marvel at the extreme. This is a pyro and robotic scientist's dream; metal creatures and huge flames. A large blue robot called Sparky on wheelchair wheels saunters through the crowd, spraying the kids (and yours truly) with water. Magician Steve Faulkner is pulling off a few card tricks around the site. Near the marquee is the noisiest freight container I have ever seen, called The Cell Organ, with many robotic arms hitting the walls to make sounds, along with cymbals, chimes, bells and two robots (one, a Mexican with cowboy boots and castanets and the other, a skeleton, with some dapper 50's shoes on, stamping out a trash can beat) all behind metal bars. Noisy but catchy!

There are a few food stalls (taking tokens only), a bar, a DJ tent and a huge marquee. In the marquee is an artwork stall with paintings featuring barbed wire and climbers, and a stall selling wooden carvings by Jason Thompson. Past another DJ and around the edge are a mix of different robots, a ball batter, a shark and a couple of dancers (plus a little dancing smash type character called Babybot! The Dancer!). Jon Whiting, who made the famous Herbie Hancock's 'Rock It' video, has provided a couple of robotic legs that you can control and make dance (I attempted the moon walk, my remote skills need vastly improving).

The real attention grabbers however out of this Robocross show are the Roborock band, featuring a guitarist with moving fingers (no head though) from Mr Kolb and a large four-armed drummer from Frank Barnes and co. I want going to recruit him for my band (the best drum machine in the world; move over Carter USM!) Wearing a spiky helmet and shaking his head comically, the metallic Lars Ulrich called 'Stickboy' belts out songs like 'Bullet In The Head' by Rage Against The Machine, 'TNT' by AC/DC and 'War Pigs' by Black Sabbath. Mesmerizing stuff, I nearly find myself doing the old school horns for the dude. I would not like to think how long it took to build this thing, let alone program in each drum and cymbal beat.

Outside on the small hill of the park it is cordoned off for Dutch artist Bastian Maris, who is setting up his heater and gas fired resonator, Speedball. Now this one confuses me; the guy has built steam racing machines and crazy skateboards in the past, but this show is listed as being a fire, sound (LOUD) and steam show. I suppose it is, but you can't help but feel did I miss it or is something else about to happen. There is a large metal horn shape, that he fills with gas and alights, this then gets so hot that it glows red, fire shoots out at the other side of the hill at the thing makes huge bangs, like a 1950's car trying to start up. I feel for the old lady that has just passed me; let's hope the shock doesn't result in any casualties.

Now another show that I have been waiting for; The Lords Of Lightning. My parents do not like me playing rollerderby as they think it's dangerous (it is but don't tell them!), so God know what these two guy's folks though when they said they were going to create and control lightning! Wearing metal suits and holding Tesla Coils that they have made, the duo from New Zealand can control lightning bolts (that reach around 4 million volts!) and fight on top of two metal podiums (think Gladiators, but they have cotton buds compared to these two). The crackling sound makes you think that your hair will stand on end, and the sight of blue lights where the men's eyes, nose and mouth are truly terrifying and mesmerising at the same time. They have a battle with the coils (after lightning arcs from their heads and arms at the beginning) and one of them bows down to the other. Bonkers but unmissable.

Now the darkness is setting in it is time for Feuerwasser, the Flaming Water Display by Australia's Miles and Zai Dorssen. They have managed to create a show where flames sit on top of water, especially effective when they show it at the top of a fountain of water! The sound it makes is like a huge bowl of Rice Krispies, where the gas they pump in (they don't say but you can smell it) meets the water and fire together, creating a fizzing hot display of spitting water. The pair can also control the height of the fire in the stream of water, moving it up and down the fountain. Impressive stuff. Also in the background there is a rather weird tail from an aeroplane, stretching like a red tick in the sky, just behind the Feuerwasser. How is it that shape? Could tonight get any stranger…?

Then it's back into the tent, where a large (and padded) robotic arm is trying to catch a young boy, just before the Lords Of Lightning frazzle themselves again. This event is on for the next three nights, with galleries during the day, themed evening shows and a more sober schedule for the children's day on Sunday. Each night has a different theme; Rocking Thursday is rock and metal night featuring DJs Lez, Ken and Jon Pullin's lazy DJ set and a live set from King Span. Rollin Friday has 50’s and 60’s rock and roll music from DJ Go Go Gorilla and Carmen Ghia and The Hot Rods. Bouncin' Saturday has DJs Steve Bedlam, Lil Chris S.C.M. and Doom Berlin bringing dance and reggae beats to Sheffield.

The small event has struggled to get money and funding, you can tell with the tiny site. But the content here is astounding; those of you who are Glasto regulars will not be as surprised at the surreal contraptions but those new to extreme arts will love it. It is not far south of Sheffield city centre, about a 25 minute walk, so it’s well worth a visit. Just don’t try any of this at home (or at least near my house!)

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