Festival review by : DOUG MC

Glastonbury Festival 1999

Friday 25th to Sunday 27th June 1999
Worthy Farm, Pilton, nr Glastonbury, Somerset, England
£83

So here we were; bright eyed and bushy tailed after 12 hours of travelling, in a field somwhere in the English countryside. Tired and irritable we pitched the tents opposite the New Bands Tent, it was like conquering the moon but we persevered and managed to put up two of the most half arsed tents in the whole place. So naturally my first stop (being a Glastonbury Virgin) had to be the stone circle, to become one with the land and howl at the moon (and what a nice moon it was too). So while my commrades searched for some enhancement, I decided to relax with the stones; and the other couple of thousand souls with the same idea. Having done the stone circles it was back to the tent (but knowing full sure that I'd be back) and the chance to burn something (wood to be precise). Its amazing what a good bonfire does to attract people, and all night had the company of some very entertaing if not ecscentic people. Some from Leeds, graphic designers I think. Met some neighbours, Emma and Cat I think, solved all the worlds problems that night. Thursday merged into Friday somehow, the coolest coloured moon I ever saw went down and the sun came up....eventually. Bjorn Again, what with their Alan "Ah ha" Partridge impressions, were faaaantastic. Friday swiftly merged in Friday night, and found ourselves in front of REM. Met some realy cool people with big red flashing Airport landing lights, they were a life saver when one of us had to pee. Go to the bogs, come out, follow the red light, nice one. I think I did a lot of Bez dancing that night, very entertaing, as were REM. No better way to spend a summer evening. REM gone we were left organise our own entertainment. So out come the Irish Ballads, and with them a whole contingent of fellow Irish revellers. There was then a sudden realisation that we had to get back to the tent go see Bruce Lee Enter the Dragon. So I sat down with John and Cormac, and Johns torch and proceeded to give a shaddow rendition of the film. Very "enlightening" as was my running commentry of the film, (well Ithought so). Having the concentration span of a goldfish I wandered back to the tent and burned some more stuff, talked and shared drink with more strange funky people. One guy who claimed he was there 'cos his brother had a vision that he should go there. Solved more of the worlds problems. Saturday crept up on us. and with it the highlight of my festival. A visit to the "crusty" (no offence intended here )area, and just wandered around aimlessly for hours, savouring the happy love buzz going around. Its the simple things like having a cup of Yogi or "Calming" tea served by people dressed in curious white gowns, that makes it all worthwhile. On a similar note I can thouroughly reccomend a story telling session; beats pay per view TV any day. I think wandering aimlessy took up most of my Saturday, along with some rather tasty cookies. A definite 5 star rating goes to the new bands tent; not only because it had some realy kick ass performances (David Gray, and some other band that was real heavy with the lead singer doing a lot of jumping, a whole lot of jumping), but as a super place to get some shade and some badly needed sleep. Sunday saw me take another adventure up to the Stones , along with the healing fields, craft fields and the Circus,oooh the Circus. Saw two acts one guy on a trapeeze, and another which I thought was an act at the time, and so did alot of other people, while in fact it was just the circus riggers putting up different trusses and poles for the next act, very amusing though.

I tried to get back to the tent, but completely lost my way, got dehydrated, but managed to find it by following the Electricity pylons back. Eventually I was dragged down to see fun lovin' crimainals and Skunk Anansi by three of the drunkest travelling companions I have ever seen. So I sat there on my moral highground and babysat them for the two acts. Cormac decides to go for a pee, only over to the cubicles less than 20 metres away and managed to lose his way and end up in the cinema field wathing Fear and Loathing Las Vegas ....again. His brother decides to do the same and also gets lost. John and I get back to the tent I go straight and sensibly to bed. Only to be woken a few hours later by John showing the primary stages of Pneumonia. He wnet to bed and snored like a train all night. John you snore; accept it. So a few hours later at 6 in the morning it was time to pack up, and catch the ferry. This I can safely say was the only low point to the whole weekend. Nothing like a nice 14 hour journey home.

Other things that come to mind......

Some guy playing Jungle music in the dance tent for about 12 hours continuously, I'm sure there'll still be people in the dance tent blowing their whistles to the sound of chirping birds come September.

Hare Krishna marches.

Bongos......so many bongos.

NOT having my tent slashed by some inbred dumbfuck lowlife neanderthal scumbag.

Relataively clean toilets...........as soon as you see that tractor and tank; go for it.

The bass in the dance tent rattling my insides.

A robot squirting water at me?? I cant have been the only one who saw that.

An extremely dodgy pizza, and an even dodgier side salad.

Vegan food..........quite nice.

Water Aid toilets, well worth the walk the queue and the donation, if not for the need but for the experience.

Thanks Michael and for a truly wonderful and eye opening experience. A tribute to both yourself and Jean (RIP).