Festival review by : Catherine Brown

Glastonbury Festival 2000

Friday 23rd to Sunday 25th June 2000
Worthy Farm, Pilton, nr Glastonbury, Somerset, England
£89 including booking fee and postage

Daily capacity: 80,000

It seems that the only good thing anyone has had to say about this year's festival is that the toilets were better than in previous years. Therefore, I presume it was down one of these pristine conveniences that the spirit of the festival dived in a desperate attempt to escape from 'revellers' (I use the term loosely) reading The Guardian as they sipped their cappuccinos whilst sitting comfortably in their portable chairs.

Going to Glastonbury used to be an adventure, and it is with great nostalgia that I remember stumbling around in the dark, falling into ditches, and genuinely losing one's friends. The festival was like a beating heart, alive and pulsating with vitality and energy. I appreciate that in order to be granted a licence, safety requirements have to be met, and over the years, although the haphazard nature of the festival has disappeared, I have embraced the changes, but this year's festival was nothing more than a parody of previous years. (I was offered 'pills' by a girl who appeared to be on an exeat weekend from Cheltenham Ladies Colleges, and the (no longer) Sacred Space was awash with sensible fleeces and comfy walking boots. Everyone appeared to be going through the motions, but not many people actually appeared to be having fun.) Perhaps expectations for the festival to be wonderful every year are too much for it to live up to - if my memory serves me right, 1990's festival wasn't great, and neither was 1995, but at least the festival's spirit was there, albeit in malevolent mood. It must also be noted that last year's festival was one of the best, but I really believe that the festival is at the top of a slippery slope, and is in danger of sliding into mediocrity.

May I suggest the following:

Get rid of Select magazine - the rubbish it publishes on a daily basis is reductive drivel. It serves no purpose whatsoever - messages, if important, can be left at the information point.
Don't allow The Guardian to be handed out on a daily basis - the beauty of Glastonbury used to be that you were cut off from the outside world. No news was good news ... (also, for a 'green' festival, the waste of paper is shameful.)
Don't allow Orange to have an aerial so all the w**kers on mobile phones will be silenced.
MOST IMPORTANTLY - get rid of the TV coverage and publicity. Eastern religions believe that if a person is photographed, their spirit it taken away ...

The festival has clearly become a victim of its own success and for those who truly love it, it was a heartbreaking experience this time. If getting rid of the above sponsors means the return of filthy toilets and general confusion, then I'll go for shit and chaos every time!!

Catherine Brown