Hevy Music Festival punches well above its weight

Hevy has a 'unique selling point', so this morning we visit the Port Lymne Wild Animal Park, to see what we can see. It is a definite change of audience for the animals, who have very rarely seen so many angular haircuts and piercings in the same place. For the visitors, it's a chance to see creatures they wouldn't normally be able to see, even in tropical climates like Essex. The tigers are massed together, sleeping. The baboons are restless, but then again, when aren't they? The lions seem sad, but perhaps that's simply my take on it. Compared to life in the wild, this must be like living in the Hilton every day. But I'm sure some people would tire of that eventually too, if they couldn't leave. In simple spectatorship terms, it makes a refreshing change to move to something a bit more sedate.

Back to the bands. HildaMay are entirely different from the band I remember. They are no longer affable punk, and instead present as a straight down the middle of the road emo. They're workmanlike in most respects, but have the huge advantage over their peers in being incredibly good looking. It occurs to me that a model walk off, old school rules, might start at any moment. It doesn't, and the only time there's any real fricton is when a band on the Red Bull stage start soundchecking loudly. This is the second time I see this sort of thing happen between the stages, and in both cases, it happens to bands who are first on. Better then than later, when a bigger audience is assembled, I suppose, but at the same time it hardly seems like a fair or professional event to the band involved or the people watching them. Even with the wonder of scheduling, it's a niggle that could have been fixed with a bigger arena to house the stages. It's all well and good hoping that the closeness of the stages will allow some of the Bedroom Jam bands to pick up an audience from the more established acts, but in practice, that seems to be very rarely the case.

In a pleasing clash, there is a choice between Polar Bear Club, and Polar. I opt for the latter, and find them an adequate screamo/hardcore outfit. Adam Woodford's lungs must be on the point of bursting many times, and his throat must have been red raw by the end. They pull what has become a predictable trick after three days of use, and the Wall of Death once again fails to claim any victims. Were they more deadly in the past? Should they be renamed Wall of Mild Injury? Wall of Potential Tooth Loss? Polar instigate a human pyramid which is even more shamefully inadequate, not even reaching a third level. The Ancient Egyptians would be so disappointed with us.

The final band of my weekend are the one that most photographers came to shoot, pushing The Dillinger Escape Plan into a lowly second place. There are so many up front for Touche Amore that the singer remarks upon it, and waiting in the second wave by the side of the stage, I witness what could in olden days have passed as a rite of passage ritual for teenage boys. Crowdsurfers are plentiful, and as they run around to get back in the crowd they all, to a man, are mouthing the lyrics of all the songs. It's a level of devotion I hadn't been expecting, and it is safe to say their following is as hardcore as they are. A word to the wise though. It is not cool to crowdsurf if you weigh more than a small hatchback. Regardless, Touche deliver a faultless performance.

Sadly, I have to leave the festival after they finish to catch the last bus back to the train station. Sunday service ends before six here, so anyone reliant on public transport to get home before Monday morning has to jump ship early. Given the young demographic of Hevy, it is a slight shock to see no additional transport organised to allow youngsters and wage slaves to get home. It is the school holidays I suppose, so there is some leeway to be given. Bet the bus is massively oversubscribed on Monday morning though.

So that's Hevy for me. I miss both The Bronx, and Funeral For A Friend. But there are few complaints to be made. Overall it punches well above its weight in terms of the performers it brings in and in making sure they get to perform at their best, but should also be advised that a ninety pound ticket is probably as far as they can push it pricewise in the current climate. Right now, the balance is just right.

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