Kerrang/Radio 1 Stage Overview

Here follows the transcript from a secret episode of 'The Osbournes' that they didn't want you to know about:

The Osborne's house. Scene 1; Kitchen. Characters: Sharon, Ozzy, Jack & Kelly.

Ozzy "Kin 'ell Sharon it's a week tow gow till Ozzfest in ol' blighty, we must organise sumwhere for those other bands on the second stage tow plaay?"
Sharon "Awwwww shite I forgot about that, Kids what dow you think we should dow?"
Jack "What did yow dow last year?"
Kelly "Two stages side by side, alternate acts on alternate stages, meant the music flowed. Whilst one changed over the other stage was prepared for the next group."
Ozzy [Laughing] "Wasn't that when I decided tow put the disabled area behind the sound tower sow none of them could see the second staage?"
Sharon [Close to tears with laughter] "Yow's a one Oz, treating them like I treat the 'phonics, and then I decided that they should pay full price for their tickets despite only being able to watch half the show."
[Much laughing by all except kelly]
Jack "Hold on Dad isn't there a big cowshed type thing at Donington …about 100m long. It would be great for the second stage?"
Ozzy "Kin 'ell son yow right yow know, Sharon sort tit out will yow?"
Sharon "Awwrite luv"
Kelly "Yeah but hold on a minute it's pants it's got two rows of pillars down the length of it and you'll only be able tow see the stage if yow're in the central aisle, won't the punters feel ripped off?"
Sharon "Sow, Sow what? What dow yow care yow'll have an AAA pass anyway."
Ozzy "Yeah sow what? Juz remember yow roots yow's a brummie, yow don't give a fook about fook all, especially wid this accent, an anyway I'll soon put a stop tow the punters seeing much of the second stage again, I'll have the sound tower block out the view in the central thingy sow yow'll only be able tow see anything if yow manage tow get infront of it."
[Hysterical laughter from all but Kelly]
Jack [laughing] "Ohh dad yow can really take the piss by making the stage about five foot high as well"
Ozzy & Sharon [holding hands on the table look lovingly into each others eyes] "That's our boy, that's our boy."


You know it's true, if you did venture into the Kerrang/Radio 1 (K/R1) Stage your view would have been reasonably well obscured. If you had the nerve to venture all the way in past the sound tower then the rewards were plentiful. It's a pity that such good groups playing such awesome music were denied the opportunity to embrace a wider audience. If you felt short-changed by the venue then maybe the bands felt the same from the other side of the crush barrier.


My first foray into the 'shed' was to see 'Skindred' with Benji Webbe bringing a flavour of the Caribbean onto the stage with his colourful red outfit. The music's far from carnival but Skindred made me smile and provided an excellent way to start my Ozzfest. Disappointingly I didn't get back to K/R1 Stage for a further hour and a half consequently missing Danko Jones and Nonpoint. By 14.40 hours OTEP were due onstage, Otep was cool with her style and kept hushing the crowd, shades of Lizard King manifesting himself here. As with all the bands, set times were limited to 30 minutes and change-overs were a mere 15 minutes, a saving grace for the moshers and the security at the front - who incidentally did an excellent job retrieving the casualties and returning the surfers to the crowd.

Mushroomhead were oversubscribed 10 fold and people had to be prevented from entering the shed due to sheer weight of numbers. The set was awesome; no BLOODY AWESOME. It was like being battered in one instant by all of England's footy hooligans who've had their passports confiscated and still hasn't managed to get to the World Cup!


Hell is for Heroes provided something a bit more downbeat in tempo and excitement after Mushroomhead - by no means a derogatory comment about them, so before I dig myself a deeper whole it's best to say that their performance was accomplished it's just unlucky that they followed Mushroomhead because by comparison it took the edge of their performance.

Time to chill a bit and get some fresh air, it's a double edged sword being in the shed, you stay dry when it rains but you also get very hot at times. I gave a miss to Cyclefly but returned to see out the rest of the night. American Headcharged delivered the goods and although preconceived ideas about Kittie made me dubious they gave it 110% especially Jennifer Arroyo with her provocative bass playing. Ill Nino filled the stage even wheeling out the bongos. Athletic? Yes. Up to the standard of all the preceding performers? Of course. Finally the only band to be allowed a 45-minute set and observed from the sidelines by assorted members of 'A' were headliners Hundred Reasons. Dedicating songs to 'all supporters of British rock' they rounded off an excellent day of superb bands.


The main stage was a mere sideshow compared to K/R1 Stage and although Hundred Reasons had to wrap their set up before Ozzy played the main stage there was no shortage of people who did exactly the same as I did after their set - head for home. Why ruin a good days music by spending the last couple of hours listening to someone as old as Grandad singing.

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