Monday is serious day on the sifiblog, looking at different aspects of popular culture and their place in our modern society. It's a difficult world, it's an unfair world, and it's a challenging world. Technology is moving at a breakneck pace, science is dragging us forward at such a rate - and to an extent our ethics, our morals and our beliefs as a civilisation don't change at the same speed. We have very little actual knowledge as individuals, yet as groups we can be as Gods, creating, mending, fixing and improving ourselves and others of ailments, diseases, disabilities and even our looks. Thousands of millions of pounds are thrown at research, at development, with a view to making our world a better, happier place for millions, whilst significantly more people try simply to survive; it's a huge dichotomy, a contradiction in terms - we are so focused on our own personal improvements and possessions, yet we can't even ensure that everyone has clean water, or is safe from violence and tyranny. There are so many questions, concerns and problems that the world has, so many flashpoints that one no longer knows where to start. But somewhere we shall start and start we will ; to try and identify what it is about us that defines us, that makes us who we are and to that end, try and work out what we want from this brief, shallow existence. It's a difficult world, and you've got to be ready for it.

And so, after three minutes of wild and inaccurate speculation, the sifiblog has is proud to present to you, the fine people of e-festivals, the first of what I classify as the essentials of life, those things that will provide you all with a personal toolbox of equipment to see you through all kinds of personal crises.

The first of these tools is of course olive oil. Although to many it might appear to be a substitute for sunflower or other cooking oils, to limit it to just that would be a injustice. But before looking at the uses of it, first a personal recommendation :

"Consume olive oil and anoint it upon your bodies since it is of the blessed tree." - Mohammed, God's final prophet.

But if you aren't of a Muslim persuasion, maybe you might want to consider the use of olive oil in Judaism. The word Messiah itself means 'he who has been covered in olive oil', as does the it's literal Greek translation "Christ".

You don't get that many products with that kind of endorsement - from all three of the single God figure religions, anyway. Those guys knew what they were up to ; be it redeeming all of us from sin, or giving us a path to follow to eternal salvation. And what better way to ensure an easy, safe nailing up than getting a bit of olive oil to lubricate the joints, and give you some natural protection from the sun. You are on the cross, you've got loads of people looking at you - do you want to be pale, and stiff? Or looking gleaming and bronzed?

But what else can it be used for? Well, all kinds of lubrication and it's safe and effective and readily available. Fed up of mumbling something about petroleum jelly over the counter at the chemist? You'll have no such worries at the supermarket - just pop a bottle of it into your trolley and no-one will suspect

that you are a deviant. Brilliant!

You can use it as an oil to burn, giving light too. The world oil itself is derivative of the word olive! Run out of soap? Wash your hands with it! And ... you can even cook with it!

Olive oil - don't leave home without it

Next week : linguini and impromptu uses of pasta in the bedroom.