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80's revival


sifi

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What chances the 80's revival?

MNE : 09 October 2006

The music world was left feeling somewhat apathetic and bemused today, as it was announced that a long forgotten group from the 1980s and early 1990s were looking to push their way back into the limelight. A spokesman for "The Tories" announced today that the band were looking to regroup and reform in order to re-capture their glory days of twenty years ago. The controversial outfit, responsible for such hits as "Support of Apartheid", "Destruction of Manufacturing Industry in the UK" and "Robbing the poor to give to rich" have been in an ten year hiatus after a shift in popularity amongst the record buying public but now feel that they are ready to return. The group have brought new faces in and none more so than new lead singer David "Dave" Cameron. Cameron, 41, formerly of the retro-rockers "The old boy's network" and "We aren't Etonians, well not all of us", has promised to re-record and re-release some of the old Tory classics, whilst capitalising on the best of contemporary material.

The band, whose fortunes nose-dived after long term lead singer Margaret Thatcher was fired and was replaced by non-entity John Major, has seen lead singers come and go since 1997, without any of them making any real in-roads. Thinking back, it's almost impossible to remember anything they recorded with "The Quiet Man", and the "Baseball cap" look, which they adopted in 1999, is long forgotten too. There was a slight resurgence in 2004 when gothic influences infiltrated the band, and they installed Michael Howard as the singer, but even that didn't work with the public.

Although it this stage there is no firm fixed date for the release of any new material, Dave has promised that "it will be coming, although we aren't saying when". Upon further prompting, it appears that the outfit have indeed been writing new material for more than a year now, but haven't actually finished anything concrete. "We have created a new band logo," said Cameron "Which I know doesn't really amount to much without any songs. But this logo has given us a new direction, although some of the older band members aren't exactly enthusiastic about it. In fact most of the band prefer the old fashioned logo, and want us to play the same old songs over and over. Norman (Tebbit, drummer) has been saying we should stick to what we know, y'know material like "Tax Cuts for the Rich", "Less spending on public services" and his favourite old number "On your bike", but I'm determined to get some new material out, if they will let me get some of my songs on there. If I ever finish any, obviously".

Yet, sources close to the band seem to point to towards a potential split in the Tories, with many citing Dave's direction as being too radical for the old, died in the wool fans to handle. "We like the old stuff" claimed one long-term Tory fan "And if they change, I'm going to go and watch the Sing Something Simple touring party, or the UK Independence Party as they are sometimes known".

Pulbic reaction has been generally muted. Most record buyers today are embarrassed by the cheesy strains of 80's popular music, and despite Cameron's insistance that the band are heading in a new direction, many claim he's just another old Etonian, stuck in the past and even more establishment than any of the offerings that have failed so spectacularly over the last few years.

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Further reports are coming from the studios where the Tory Party are putting together material for their new record. In what can only be regarded as internal band problems, and in a way somewhat reminiscent of the acrimonious split of the Ronnie James Dio era Black Sabbath, it has been reported that several old school band members have been sneaking down and increasing the volume on the guitar and drumming tracks in order to diminish the strength of the vocal track. In retaliation, the producers have been increasing the vocal track volume, but the result has been that the mix is now so loud that nobody can make out either the tune or the lyrics and it's just giving everyone a headache.

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