balti-pie

You head off to a cabin for a couple of hours, they’ll ask all sorts of weird questions, then they double wristband you and let you in

That’ll be the hardest conditions of the three shifts, I’m sure - temps are much more manageable from hereon in. How was it? Did it go quickly? I got pre-shifts on a vehicle gate so I’m already done! It’s a very decent thing to get on the Oxfam stewarding gig, the camping/early access etc is great

Shady naps in the circus tents 👍 that’s my advice, get out of the direct sun!

Fresh and black working a treat for me, but this is me second glasto in it now so I’m a true believer #oneofus

Trainers only. Do it! Be brave/foolhardy!

If you’re at Gate B, I will legit meet you and EPO your Taytos in for the price of one bag of Taytos (nb- this offer is not available for nordie Taytos, proper Taytos only)

A few years back I got a lift with my mate on the Wednesday, and we were put in purple car parks absolutely bloody miles away from gate c at least a 45min walk - my missus drove in on the Thursday and knackered up the directions, coming in on the other side, bring out in yellow and I have no idea how she did it, but ending up parked about 150 yards from gate a. The filling method makes absolutely no rational sense, sometimes it’s great and sometimes absolutely dreadful

Bit bloody cold for your queuers, fair play to ya - if any of you are outside gate B then I’m in the oxfield just the other side of the green fence and I’m in my sleeping bag, I hope you’re comfy!

Brooklyn special effects is an absolute smasher of a non alc beer, if anyone is wondering (it’s an increasing part of the market, I’m glad it’s not just me who wants to drink nice things but not get drunk)

Reef? Fucking Reef? Oh god. *rewrites Friday night plans*

On-site now and it’s bloody hot, the sun is splitting the stones. Hard to believe it’ll ever rain again

Done my second of three shifts on-site on the vehicle gates, ensuring I’m in for the reward of a free fest 😊

What if . . . and bear with me here, cos this is big, potentially revelatory news. . . but what if Arctic Monkeys and Muse were both very dull bands?

There were people queuing at gate b from about 5 or 6pm on the Tuesday in 2019. Not huge amounts, probs about fifty or so when I went past at that time. I recall thinking they must be nuts

We’ll use the one thing we’ve got more of, that’s our mud

I can exclusively reveal, LIVE from the oxfam field at Glastonbury, that it is currently raining. Had a couple of showers today, which assisted nicely with tent peg penetration, and it’s very light pitter patters with a fair dollop of cloud overhead. No pics cos I can’t be bothered to do the hosting thing. This ends your live weather report!

🤣 I don’t mind the downvote, you’ve clearly heard me singing in the shower

I’ve been looking for the right stage to launch my beautiful rendition of Heart - Alone, and I think a karaoke tent at Glastonbury is the right place yknow

Loaded the car, off to the site in the morning, early oxfammer 👍🏻 There’ll be a couple of us there, it’s all very exciting! I’ve been trying to convey my excitement at being there before the cider bus to my work colleagues but they’ve just looked at me funny

Air tents are great. It’s a five minute, one man job undertaken while whistling and enjoying myself, instead of two people swearing at each other and pissing around with poles just too big to fit into the little nylon envelope holey bit.

Today as well! Absolutely mentally checked out, nobody can expect anything from me but smiling and daydreaming 😊

*winks seductively*

welcome aboard, all new converts - you are all now ONE OF US and we can smile beautifically through well-rested and cool eyes at each other. I'll be giving each f&b tent i walk past a reassuring pat on the bottom (which sounds like itll take bloody ages, we're all in em)

is there more balls or boobs at glastonbury, would you say? the new wheels vs doors argument!

Buy em, and leave em in the car with some socks inside, and you wont need em. This is the way.