Taking my 16 year old sister to glasto

[crosswillcastyourshadow]

Sorry to take up a new topic on this.

My 16 year old sister is really keen to come to glastonbury this year, the hype i've given it has gotten to her it seems. I have my ticket, she is registered, but is hoping to get her ticket on the resale on sunday.

My sister has had a lot of personal problems over the past few years and is prone to panic attacks, and can be near impossible to deal with sometimes. I think glastonbury would be a brilliant experience for her, and having been only 13 when I went to my first, I am very much of the opinion that you can never be too young for a festival.

This year will be my first real break from work for ages and will be a perfect way for me to celebrate finishing exams and academic comitments & finally finishing being either sat infront of a computer or working behind a bar for the best part of 50 hours a week.

So is it worth me risking having the festival (which holds a lot of personal importance to me) jeopardised by being responsible for my sister all weekend and trying to keep her chilled out?

Any help or stern words would be seriously appreciated.

much love

[derfman]

normally id be the first to say

"bring them along everyone needs to experience it"

but in this case im not so sure

if she is prone to panic attacks i assume she tends to over react to alot and might sometimes run away, trying to find somone that doesnt wanna be found at glasto could indeed ruin ur weekend

especially if she has emotional issues

with drugs going round and stuff i would say better to be safe than sorry and maybe wait till she is older and can go with a group of her own friends

just my opinion tho i dont talk from experience so dont slate me

[markeee]

normally id be the first to say

"bring them along everyone needs to experience it"

but in this case im not so sure

if she is prone to panic attacks i assume she tends to over react to alot and might sometimes run away, trying to find somone that doesnt wanna be found at glasto could indeed ruin ur weekend

especially if she has emotional issues

with drugs going round and stuff i would say better to be safe than sorry and maybe wait till she is older and can go with a group of her own friends

just my opinion tho i dont talk from experience so dont slate me

[grumpyhack]

You've been before so know Glasto. You also know your sister better than any of us so we are not really in a position to advise.

That said, as few thoughts on making it possible or at least easier.

If she has a friend or a couple of other adults she knows there it shares the burden.

If you've both got fully charged mobile phones you can at least keep in touch (subject to the limitations of phones at Glasto). Texts usually work.

Walk the site with her early on so that she is familiar with the layout and key landmarks. Then if you do go your separate ways from time to time make sure that you meet up regularly at pre-agreed spots that are easy to find - not 'in front of the Pyramid Stage' but under the Oak Tree, at one of the Meeting Points, at a particular place to eat or back at your tent.

Make sure she has a site map with her at all times with those key points marked on it.

The Lottery on Sunday may decide the answer for you but good luck.

[mimis]

In terms of the personal issues - she is your sister so I think only you can judge that really but in terms of age.. my first Glasto I was 16 (2004s) and loved it, for me personally - it is the place I am most chilled out and relaxed, so could be for your sister too?

Obviously I don't know her, but from my experience at 16 you can look out for yourself, I went with a friend my age, straight after our last GCSE (had our bags waiting at the edge of the exam hall!!) and no older supervision as such.. we really didn't need it! Although one of my friends' mums was there which was good for my parents to know that she was about should I need someone older in some sort of emergency?! really, didn't see her much at all just did our own thing.

Glastonbury crowd are such a caring one, if anything did go wrong.. she'd never be far from someone only too happy to help I hope that you come to the right decision for you both, and if you do decide to go, have an amazing time x

Edited April 3, 2009 by mimis

[Funkfarley]

You've been before so know Glasto. You also know your sister better than any of us so we are not really in a position to advise.

The Lottery on Sunday may decide the answer for you but good luck.

[Yokel Again]

No idea about most of the issues surrounding this, but it may bring you closer together.... (sorry, you may be already, just a thought....)

[Francis Biley]

Sorry to take up a new topic on this.

My 16 year old sister is really keen to come to glastonbury this year, the hype i've given it has gotten to her it seems. I have my ticket, she is registered, but is hoping to get her ticket on the resale on sunday.

My sister has had a lot of personal problems over the past few years and is prone to panic attacks, and can be near impossible to deal with sometimes. I think glastonbury would be a brilliant experience for her, and having been only 13 when I went to my first, I am very much of the opinion that you can never be too young for a festival.

This year will be my first real break from work for ages and will be a perfect way for me to celebrate finishing exams and academic comitments & finally finishing being either sat infront of a computer or working behind a bar for the best part of 50 hours a week.

So is it worth me risking having the festival (which holds a lot of personal importance to me) jeopardised by being responsible for my sister all weekend and trying to keep her chilled out?

Any help or stern words would be seriously appreciated.

much love

[TomfromStroud]

I usually say you should never take a girl to Glastonbury, but what if the girl is your sister?

I say don't take her. Leave it a couple of years, start her on something small then build up to Glastonbury.

[Pinhead]

Can depend largely on the year too can't it. If its a mega-muddy one like 2007 and a struggle to do things and get about, things could get tense more quickly than with a far more laid back 1995 summer style festival with lots of space and people spread out etc.

One suggestion - consider planning a back-out arrangement so that if things got difficult, she could always leave the site and get home somehow (either by herself or with the help of friends).

[port]

You dont mention what triggers her panic attacks? if this is not an issue then there shouldn't be any problems, As you no doubt know a panic attack can only last so long anyway.

I would still take her but would agree that it would only be in a larger social circle so that she has different choices available to her.

[cassandra13]

If you do end up taking her it may be an idea to show her where the first aid points and Information points are and where she can go to get help safely if she does have an attack, also get get her to carry your mobile phone on a card / bit of paper for others to find if she is having problems. Hopefully she won't have any problems and will have a great time but sometimes just knowing what to do in case of emergency gives confidence and is not needed. A couple of years ago at the meeting point a girl collapsed and seemed to be having a seizure, her friends didn't know what to do but my partner, a trained first aider, helped her and I got help from the Information point there, the people there were really switched on and acted swiftly getting medical help so if the worst happens safe help is not far away.

[russycarps]

just tell her you tried to get her tickets but unfortunately they all sold out in minutes so you couldnt get one.

Of course in reality you had a lovely lie in, but she doesnt need to know this.

[hazey_jane]

Aren't you lovely Russycarps?

First of all, what a lovely brother you are. I do hope your sister comes and has a great time, it could be just what she needs to get a bit more confidence in her. Again, it would be helpful to know what/ if anything triggers these panic attacks.

I remember a couple of years ago, someone came on asking a very similar question about going with his girlfriend who was in a similar situation to your sis (I've searched but can't find it) and there was a lot of good advice on there that's been repeated on here. I'd recommend that you camp in one of the quieter fields, maybe near to a campsite crew if you can so she's got someone to chat to if she ends up back at the tent on her own, stick to the quieter areas of the festy and if you go and see one of the bigger bands then hang around the back of the crowd and avoid the main thoroughfares immediately after a big show so she's not caught up in a huge group of people.

[amfy]

I think if you take her, you have to not only resign yourself to this Glastonbury being about her, you have to be totally positive about it. You have to find a way to be really happy that this Glastonbury is about you and your sister, and completely write off the Glastonbury you would've had without her.

If you can't do that - it's probably best not to take her because it'll just be stress.

I've had this thought about my mum. I know she would love Glastonbury but she is 65 and her knees aren't great! She loves folk music and we did Cambridge together a couple of years ago but that isn't as physical. She does love alot of other music too, but I know if I took her it would slow me down alot. We'd have to spend alot more time sitting, and, if The Chemical Brothers were on, we might not make it! For all these reasons I have kind of resisted it.

Then it occurs to me that she won't be around forever, and with every year that passes it will get more and more difficult for her to do it, and I do know she would love to go (as much to share something that I love with me as anything) although she doesn't want to pressure me. I guess it's finally clicked that I have to give just one Glastonbury to my mum - it really won't kill me, I still have alot of years (hopefully) for Glastonbury to be for me! So I have reached the point that I hope to have my mum with me in 2010 and am looking forward to that shared experience.

For you it is different - this year it feels important for your Glastonbury to be for you, and you (hopefully) have alot of years left to give a Glastonbury to your sister. Maybe another time? - but when you do it, just give it up.

[russycarps]

Aren't you lovely Russycarps?

[Matt 100]

You obviously know your sister better than anyone & if there is a good chance that she is goin to be hard work & that she wont be able to deal with the environment, then I would be a bit harsh & not bother takin her.

As you say this is your time & she mite be ok whilst your there you never know, but if she's not then there wouldn't be much point you goin either as your just gonna spend your time lookin after her.

[krisskross]

meh, panic attacks suck - but she'll love Glastonbury no matter. Its not as if you'll have top watch her 24/7 as she'll probably want to go off on her own at some points anyway. I hope you both enjoy it and i hope you manage to get a ticket on sunday.

[cossie65]

How much does she want to go?

If she REALLY REALLY wants to go put it to her that if she gets a ticket, you're not gonna spend the whole week looking out for her. This may seem selfish but are you going to enjoy the week loking over your shoulder and worrying? I know you may be really close and it could be like a best mate coming with you but even if this were the case, i dont think id be comfortable looking after someone in Glastonbury, the place has to much going on to be thinking all the time about someone elses safety.

Your obviously posting because you are in 2 minds about it, and if this is the case id ask her to go with a group of mates as well as you so that the responsability can at least be shared, or you can go off and leave her with them for a few hours and chill.

[Un Adepte Des Raconteurs]

I suffer from panic attacks too, so I can only sympathise with your sister as I know how frightening they can be and how disruptive they can become to your life. They have rarely hit me at Glasto, but when they have I've found it's a better place than most to get through them. People are generally very concerned and helpful, and there are lots of places to buy water (which is always my first reaction). Obviously the weather may have an impact if she feels the need to sit down if she feels she's about to faint (which is what often happens during mine), so it might be an idea to buy her a portable chair (They're about £6 on site) so even if it's muddy she can sit down and relax a bit. Generally though the fresh air and open spaces help me through.

It also might be an idea for her to plan her day pretty well (though not more than necessary, it is Glasto! ) This means that she can arrive early for the bands she really wants to see, and avoid the kind of crush that happened post-Winehouse near the Pyramid last year. That was pretty scary for a lot of people, sufferer or not.

Generally though I find Glasto to be place that I can cope with things pretty well. Much more so than being out in town on a Friday and Saturday for example.

Hope everything works out well for you and that you both have a great time.

[cossie65]

I suffer from panic attacks too, so I can only sympathise with your sister as I know how frightening they can be and how disruptive they can become to your life. They have rarely hit me at Glasto, but when they have I've found it's a better place than most to get through them. People are generally very concerned and helpful, and there are lots of places to buy water (which is always my first reaction). Obviously the weather may have an impact if she feels the need to sit down if she feels she's about to faint (which is what often happens during mine), so it might be an idea to buy her a portable chair (They're about £6 on site) so even if it's muddy she can sit down and relax a bit. Generally though the fresh air and open spaces help me through.

It also might be an idea for her to plan her day pretty well (though not more than necessary, it is Glasto! ) This means that she can arrive early for the bands she really wants to see, and avoid the kind of crush that happened post-Winehouse near the Pyramid last year. That was pretty scary for a lot of people, sufferer or not.

Generally though I find Glasto to be place that I can cope with things pretty well. Much more so than being out in town on a Friday and Saturday for example.

Hope everything works out well for you and that you both have a great time.

[emmmmma]

I actually worked as a low-intensity therapist for the NHS last year. There are lots of self-help workbooks that are available for people with stress/anxiety difficulties. For example this website. If you did take your sister it might be helpful for you to read through them so that you can understand what is going on for her, and she might even find them helpful to read through. They have a lot of success, although usually a mental health professional would guide her through using them. Obviously I'm not working as a clinician at the moment so this is just my opinion. But depending on where you live there might be a low-intensity CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) NHS service, commonly known as IAPT or Improving Access to Psychological Therapy services. They are being set-up across the country at the moment. They should, in theory, have very short or even no waiting list so there might be time for her to do some work before Glastonbury. It might be worth her asking her GP anyway.

[MieleBee]

If you do end up taking her it may be an idea to show her where the first aid points and Information points are and where she can go to get help safely if she does have an attack, also get get her to carry your mobile phone on a card / bit of paper for others to find if she is having problems. Hopefully she won't have any problems and will have a great time but sometimes just knowing what to do in case of emergency gives confidence and is not needed. A couple of years ago at the meeting point a girl collapsed and seemed to be having a seizure, her friends didn't know what to do but my partner, a trained first aider, helped her and I got help from the Information point there, the people there were really switched on and acted swiftly getting medical help so if the worst happens safe help is not far away.

[crosswillcastyourshadow]

Thanks a million for the support and advice guys.

The panic attacks seem to be triggered by a variety of things, But, strangely, I think the busy, countryside metropolis of glastonbury might be a better environment for it then say the middle of manchester or in her school.

I think it'll probably be positive for her to get out on her own, meet new people and find out for herself that glastonbury isn't about escapism, but more about embracing life. I'll try and stay with her as much as I can, but, I don't know whether I could bare whatching the ting tings if theres something interesting going on elsewhere

I know that the mates I am going down with are probably the best suited for helping her out and relating to her. She was expelled from school last year, and one of my best mates who is coming down with us was aswell at around her age. He is studying Politics at London Met though now, and achieving serious success, considering where he was a few years ago .He'll definately be able to relate to her.

Me and my mates will inevitably be drinking and using drugs down there, but, as strange as it sounds, I'd be a lot happier her doing those types of things in good company who will look after her, then under a bridge somewhere. I'll be happy to stay sober for her sake though.

I'll try my best for her on sunday, But will have worked 'till about 4 on saturday night, so If I'm not much use, she'll have to forgive me lol.

MieleBee, thanks for the accounts from personal experience. I went in 07 and, as most people did, found the mud difficult, so I can't imagine it'd be good for her if it's like that.

Just have to hope for sun I suppose.

Thanks again

[grumpyhack]

In a way the mud and flooding can be a positive too. People rally round and help each other. I hope your sis is lucky on Sunday. Glasto could be a really helpful experience for her but it could also go pear shaped so you've got to be prepared to take good care of her.