is my missus being unreasonable?

[lofichic]

Hey gang,

I went to my first Glastonbury over 10 years ago, and money willing, I try and go every year. It is the most important part of my year, my favourite place on Earth, and a huge part of my life. My OH of a few months has never been, but decided she wanted to go this year, because of how much it means to me. She didn't go to any effort to get a ticket, and I think she assumed I should buy her her ticket, which I couldn't afford.

Anyway, we're two weeks to go until Glastonbury, she's not going, and she's having a real strop about it. She won't let me mention Glastonbury, she doesn't want "her face rubbed in it", I have to try and sort things out (like repairing my broken tent) without her knowing about it - and this is really difficult because I'm letting her stop with me for a few weeks before she finds a new flat!

I understand she wants to go - but as far as I see it, you don't get to 28 with no interest in festivals and then develop a fandom over a couple of months that means your upset at not going is more important than my excitement. I usually spend these couple of weeks getting my kit packed, going out Glasto window shopping every day and getting progressively more excited, but she gets upset if I even mention it. I wanted to take my tent to the repair shop today but she had a moan and said she'd go and stop at her mother's instead.

Am I being insensitive? Is there anyone here who's OH is going to Glasto but they're not?

/moan over

[Crouchie]

Hey gang,

I went to my first Glastonbury over 10 years ago, and money willing, I try and go every year. It is the most important part of my year, my favourite place on Earth, and a huge part of my life. My OH of a few months has never been, but decided she wanted to go this year, because of how much it means to me. She didn't go to any effort to get a ticket, and I think she assumed I should buy her her ticket, which I couldn't afford.

Anyway, we're two weeks to go until Glastonbury, she's not going, and she's having a real strop about it. She won't let me mention Glastonbury, she doesn't want "her face rubbed in it", I have to try and sort things out (like repairing my broken tent) without her knowing about it - and this is really difficult because I'm letting her stop with me for a few weeks before she finds a new flat!

I understand she wants to go - but as far as I see it, you don't get to 28 with no interest in festivals and then develop a fandom over a couple of months that means your upset at not going is more important than my excitement. I usually spend these couple of weeks getting my kit packed, going out Glasto window shopping every day and getting progressively more excited, but she gets upset if I even mention it. I wanted to take my tent to the repair shop today but she had a moan and said she'd go and stop at her mother's instead.

Am I being insensitive? Is there anyone here who's OH is going to Glasto but they're not?

/moan over

[Vity]

When i got together with my current partner - they had been 12 times and i had never been. We were getting together when tickets came on sale and i verbalised my interest in going. They didn't get me a ticket - as the relationshit (as we call it) was sooo new.

4 years on and this will be my 3rd Glasto - i am proper excited this year cause we are bringing 5 glasto virgins with us!!! Happy days.

[Crouchie]

maybe its a good thing she isn't going....

[farewellandgoodnight]

Sounds like she's being a bit of a silly cow to me. Point out to her that tickets have been on sale for months and she's had plenty of time to sort one out for herself.

If seeing you doing something that is obviously important to you and makes you happy upsets her then maybe you both should reconsider the relationship?

[lofichic]

I'm glad its not just me then

[ChloeB]

Oh deary me!! This has made me a little angry! If she wanted to go that badly she should have made a bit more effort to get a ticket herself! The first year I met my boyfriend (5 years ago) I had tried and failed to get a ticket, but him and his friends had been much more organised and had all managed to get one - But I had the opposite reaction to your missus! I was so excited for him that I bought him random little festival presents to take with him and asked him to send me daily updates when he was there of what was going on!! I would never begrudge him having fun without me - especially at Glasto!

So yeah - She's being unreasonable!!! Go enjoy yourself - See you there!!!!

Edited June 11, 2009 by ChloeB

[travelling mr pastry]

you should have tried to sort out her ticket really if she was being a lazy f**ker, not pay for it but get her arse in gear, but yeah given that hasnt happened she should just deal with it, sounds like shes looking for a reason to get herself angry and then wont let it go and wants to get progressively worse (first time ive heard of a woman doing that...) if she doesnt get over it tell her to get f**ked.

Edited June 11, 2009 by travelling mr pastry

[Laws_c]

Hey gang,

I went to my first Glastonbury over 10 years ago, and money willing, I try and go every year. It is the most important part of my year, my favourite place on Earth, and a huge part of my life. My OH of a few months has never been, but decided she wanted to go this year, because of how much it means to me. She didn't go to any effort to get a ticket, and I think she assumed I should buy her her ticket, which I couldn't afford.

Anyway, we're two weeks to go until Glastonbury, she's not going, and she's having a real strop about it. She won't let me mention Glastonbury, she doesn't want "her face rubbed in it", I have to try and sort things out (like repairing my broken tent) without her knowing about it - and this is really difficult because I'm letting her stop with me for a few weeks before she finds a new flat!

I understand she wants to go - but as far as I see it, you don't get to 28 with no interest in festivals and then develop a fandom over a couple of months that means your upset at not going is more important than my excitement. I usually spend these couple of weeks getting my kit packed, going out Glasto window shopping every day and getting progressively more excited, but she gets upset if I even mention it. I wanted to take my tent to the repair shop today but she had a moan and said she'd go and stop at her mother's instead.

Am I being insensitive? Is there anyone here who's OH is going to Glasto but they're not?

/moan over

[ChloeB]

Oh deary me!! This has made me a little angry! If she wanted to go that badly she should have made a bit more effort to get a ticket herself! The first year I met my boyfriend (5 years ago) I had tried and failed to get a ticket, but him and his friends had been much more organised and had all managed to get one - But I had the opposite reaction to your missus! I was so excited for him that I bought him random little festival presents to take with him and asked him to send me daily updates when he was there of what was going on!! I would never begrudge him having fun without me - especially at Glasto!

So yeah - She's being unreasonable!!! Go enjoy yourself - See you there!!!!

[p3achy]

its not like it hasnt been possible to get tickets right up until recently so id say she is being kinda mean...putting a dampner on sommat you hold dear...but then as its a new relationship you have to decide do ya put up with the moping or do ya keep quite about it...and do you really want to come back from glastonbury all stocked up wanting to talk about it and having to keep quite and pretend ya didnt go?

my other half goes off on surfing weekend..sometimes im well jealous he is getting away having fun but i keep it to meself

id have a little chat with her and as people have said point out if she wanted to come she would have arranged it herself she knew you were getting tickets if she really wanted to go she could of even said heres the cash can you sort it out for me

[ivan]

I'm glad its not just me then

[travelling mr pastry]

Oh deary me!! This has made me a little angry! If she wanted to go that badly she should have made a bit more effort to get a ticket herself! The first year I met my boyfriend (5 years ago) I had tried and failed to get a ticket, but him and his friends had been much more organised and had all managed to get one - But I had the opposite reaction to your missus! I was so excited for him that I bought him random little festival presents to take with him and asked him to send me daily updates when he was there of what was going on!! I would never begrudge him having fun without me - especially at Glasto!

So yeah - She's being unreasonable!!! Go enjoy yourself - See you there!!!!

[jodster]

I'd let her move in with her mother and stay there!

No one should stop you enjoying the pre-fest build up. Who knows you might find someone like minded at Glasto x

[ivan]

Oh deary me!! This has made me a little angry! If she wanted to go that badly she should have made a bit more effort to get a ticket herself! The first year I met my boyfriend (5 years ago) I had tried and failed to get a ticket, but him and his friends had been much more organised and had all managed to get one - But I had the opposite reaction to your missus! I was so excited for him that I bought him random little festival presents to take with him and asked him to send me daily updates when he was there of what was going on!! I would never begrudge him having fun without me - especially at Glasto!

So yeah - She's being unreasonable!!! Go enjoy yourself - See you there!!!!

[lofichic]

Going on about it 24/7 , which I do , I cannot deny

The come down when I get back and can't cope with stuff !

Asking her to stop in that weekend and sky plus every single minute of the coverage

[snu snu]

Don't let her get away with acting like that, the build up is all part of it. She sounds really unreasonable to be honest - you should just sit her down & say you wish she was going but she isn't and there's nothing you can do about it now. Say you feel uncomfortable making plans for glasto but they have to be done and you don't want to rub her face in it so if she feels that unhappy maybe she should stay with her mum until its over (I bet she won't).

If she chills out a bit say you're really pleased with the way she's handling it and while you're at Glasto you're going to think of something romantic you can do for her when you get back.

[travelling mr pastry]

Hahah. I know what it's like with that though - my mates used to be able to afford to go when I was at uni and I couldn't. I was already diehard into Glasto, and it turned my stomach watching them pack and get excited, but I didn't begrudge it them. I hold in the squealing and the air punches - I'd just like to be able to go and do a bit of festi shopping!

She couldn't afford to get a ticket because she hasn't been working. I did try and get her to consider a job there but she wasn't interested in anything but doing advocacy work for Oxfam. Ah dear, it's not my fault really is it!

[Katster]

Why isn't she going?

[lofichic]

she sounds like a real catch, is she really bitching you out for not buying her a ticket when she didnt have a job and wasnt prepared to take any offered....

[travelling mr pastry]

[lofichic]

Why isn't she going?

[Kirky_99]

I'm assuming she's an absolute stunner ? to put up with that sort of behaviour in the the first few months of a relationship ! Doesn't bode well for the future

[Runner]

To be honest, if you cannot tell her exactly how you feel, and she is constantly pissing you off and being selfish, what are you even doing in this relationship?

Stuff like this will no doubt carry on. Weekends away with your mates, stag parties ... to be honest the list is endless.

Yes she's probably a lovely bird, but she sounds quite demanding, selfish and is lacking in empathy.

This is important to you, and seeing as she made no effort to sort a ticket out, or ask you to help her get one, I wouldn't even worry about it. Start looking forward to it, start sorting your stuff out, and if she gets arsey just tell her to deal with it and stop being so sodding selfish!

[travelling mr pastry]

im loling my ass off at the new direction this thread is taking