Young,Dumb and Living off Mum BBC3

[jump]

I'd suggest that someone who uses the word 'control' as opposed to 'support and guidance' is after something slightly different. Many many parents DO think it's their role to control their kids, which is quite often the precise reason their kids get out of control. One of my best friends brought up his kids with precisely this kind of thinking. One of his sons is now out of control. He comes home on Friday night, usually with blood on him from some stupid fight he's started, and has very little to look forward to, he's almost a lost cause... it's very sad. He loved his boys, but he didn't really show it...

and we all have different ideas of what social values are

[llcoolphil]

Would you allow your children to have a fight ? To name but one...

[oafc0000]

How do you propose stopping them if they want to?

[oafc0000]

that was part of a question which I answered

if they got in a fight, I'd ask what it was about. Allow them? I'm not with them every moment of every day

your turn

where have I said or indicated I control my kids?

(which you said I did)

[jump]

Kids need to fight at least once at least to realise what violence actually is and it's not just something in movies and if not that then to stand their ground on their own without Mummy & Daddy jumping into the rescue even if it means them getting a bloody nose.

*edit boys at least

Edited August 25, 2010 by jump

[oafc0000]

no you didn't

[llcoolphil]

Tasers were suggested...

[feral chile]

Yeah it's that nuisance bit of not always being with your kids we need to get round. Whether I allow something or not is immaterial really if they are intent on doing it.

Edited August 25, 2010 by feral chile

[llcoolphil]

yes. And if you haven't helped your child to develop independent thought, and have taught them only to do what they're told, that comes back to kick you in the arse when peer pressure takes over.

Children of parents with an authoritarian parental style are rather susceptible to peer pressure. They just conform to the strongest influence.

Edited August 25, 2010 by llcoolphil

[bunique]

I'll always remember walking out of the hospital for the first time with our first baby thinking "ok, it's real now, what the f**k do we do?"...

[llcoolphil]

which is a big fault in our education system. Other countries let kids have a much longer time in the early years doing these things, as opposed to in England, where the main objective is to start testing our kids as soon as possible to do the main thing our system requires, which is the ability to pass exams... never mind the 'how to work things out' aspect of learning

[philipsteak]

Oaf sounds like my dad.

[gratedenini]

Mr Oaf is The Father.

(the son and the holy ghost!)

den