How do you deal with being in a new relationship

[markeee]

i think i feel the same as you, but you've just got to trust them. and if they are untrustworthy, then they're not worth your time anyway.

i'm sure markeee will be along with his tips in a bit

[rachbon]

you not going to give your jersey shore advice markeee?

[Mcscotty]

I guess I think the worst that can happen is, before he's developed strong feelings for me, he thinks I'm a nutter and decides it's best not to bother. I accept it's a part of me and he'll discover it in my character, but hoped that by that stage we'd be more serious and we could just laugh it off. Plus my own experience shows I only feel like this in the beginning.

If I'm brutally honest I guess my main concern is that he's way better looking, most people would think, and I think he'll have plenty of opportunity. Aside from the fact that he's very attractive, he's a very decent, friendly, intelligent and interesting guy, so I'm not interested in him for the obvious superficial qualities, that he has in abundance.

[jump]

you not going to give your jersey shore advice markeee?

[markeee]

you not going to give your jersey shore advice markeee?

[rollergirl]

You don't have any control over what other people will do though.

[metallimuse]

Personally I think if you feel like this now its only going to get worse over time because it seems like you dont think you deserve this guy.Therefore I think you will turn into a clingy,jealous girlfriend.

Whoever said earlier to go out and develop your own life so you arent so dependant on a relationship is right.

[jono_01]

keep him locked in the cellar

just go with the flow and enjoy life. good luck

[glastofun]

Hey everyone, thanks for all your advice, it's been good to read. I'm going to try and go with the consensus of this thread, I think it will be a constant battle to keep things inside (it surfaced a couple of times at the weekend) but I think I can just about manage. Spent a great weekend together, met the new people etc, and I feel much better about things.

[jump]

Hope all goes well!

[Mcscotty]

You don't have any control over what other people will do though.

[rachbon]

Hey everyone, thanks for all your advice, it's been good to read. I'm going to try and go with the consensus of this thread, I think it will be a constant battle to keep things inside (it surfaced a couple of times at the weekend) but I think I can just about manage. Spent a great weekend together, met the new people etc, and I feel much better about things.

Edited September 13, 2010 by _rachelbon

[metallimuse]

keeping your thoughts to yourself might not be the ebst idea. you could eventually end up snapping because you've been bottling everything up.

it doesn't have to be a constant battle. things are easier to deal with if you have someone you can talk to. it might surprise you how understanding people can be when you're honest with them. if this guy cares about you, he will reassure you and you could feel so much better.

[rachbon]

Why should you constantly have to reassure your partner though.It's like subconciously testing how much you love them.

If I'm in a relationship then I'm commited to that girl and have never strayed,I don't see the point.A relationship is built on love and trust,if you don't have that it will never work.

To have that girl need constant reassurance and to worry about other people in my life is a mild form of jealously and self esteem issues.To have to constantly reassure her how much I love her feels forced and staged and takes away from the moments I genuinely get that tingly feeling and can't control my emotions and want to express my love.

[jump]

Have your own life with your own friends and then take them to the pub to chat about this kind of stuff, as this is an early days relationship so you don't want to get to heavy in the early fun/getting to know each other part.

That's where I keep going wrong as I only really enjoy relationships in the early days where you are learning about each and just having spontenous fun and then get bored.

[metallimuse]

i was just saying that keeping your thought to yourself all the time might not be a good idea.

it might only take one conversation for the OP to tell her boyfriend how she feels and then she could feel much after having talked about it.

[Guest musiclove123]

Have your own life with your own friends and then take them to the pub to chat about this kind of stuff, as this is an early days relationship so you don't want to get to heavy in the early fun/getting to know each other part.

That's where I keep going wrong as I only really enjoy relationships in the early days where you are learning about each and just having spontenous fun and then get bored.

[rachbon]

Sorry that wasn't an attack more of a conversational post.

[jump]

If you are in a relationship long term the initial honey moon period has to settle down at some point. It doesn't mean that you stop loving them though you just need to make more effort to go out places, be romantic etc. Maybe the people you are getting with just aren't right for you?

[markeee]

Yep, I like crazy/intresting/bitchy girls all of which make lousy girlfriends in the long term. Oh well, casual relationships for me.

Edited September 16, 2010 by markeee

[metallimuse]

At least you're honest

I guess it's hard at first, the girl I like...a lot, said to me yesterday am I trying to make her jealous/insecure ..was talking to her on the phone and she asked about Monday night, said it was alright bla bla, mentioned a friend of mine (a girl) ..and got that comment!

Told her there's absolutely NOTHING there, we're just friends!!

She was meant to come out the other week with me, but didnt in the end, said her mates weren't coming out and she does''t want to be out with me and my mates as she would 'hate it if any girls speak to you, even if you're friends'.

I guess it's normal, haven't known her long..so takes time to develop strong trust, especially if they've been cheated on in the past etc!

[RABun]

I don't see how that is normal.Are you a convicted sex pest or been treated for sex addiction in the past?Are you unable to speak to a woman without trying to have sex with her?Are you not permitted to have a conversation or friendship with the opposite sex?

I cannot stand jealously in any shape or form and will not be in a relationship with someone who shows it due to their underlying self esteem issues and irrational thought process.

[jump]

At least you're honest

I guess it's hard at first, the girl I like...a lot, said to me yesterday am I trying to make her jealous/insecure ..was talking to her on the phone and she asked about Monday night, said it was alright bla bla, mentioned a friend of mine (a girl) ..and got that comment!

Told her there's absolutely NOTHING there, we're just friends!!

She was meant to come out the other week with me, but didnt in the end, said her mates weren't coming out and she does''t want to be out with me and my mates as she would 'hate it if any girls speak to you, even if you're friends'.

I guess it's normal, haven't known her long..so takes time to develop strong trust, especially if they've been cheated on in the past etc!

[ampersand]

Maybe she was joking and you're reaction led it to being real?

No offence but I don't see the point of having a long distance relationship with a girl you just met.

[Pogues Mcgogues]

why not if he likes her? long distance is the only thing i've known, and i'm glad that i did it.