Embarrasing/crazy stories of being wasted/pissed...

[gratedenini]

Use of The Larmer Mobile :

Mis-use of The Larmer Mobile

Eeee lad. Was at a fest and gave a bloke next to me Meine Tub auf Gruin and asked him to build up. I dont smoke, so never have an baccy, so I usually just ask someone..and then share see. So, he built up...a decent toploader and we enjoyed.

Bumped into him the next day... same scenario. Jethro Tull was on.... well yer bugger-a-hell.

I heard Jethro Tull ...but I couldn`t see em!

I had to be put into the Larmer Mobile and left in a corner and be dragged back to the van in it. Eeeee lad. I was f**ked that night.

Next day--I bumped into him (feeling a bit ginger like)... I said what a state I was in the previous night. I then found out why...

He`d built up neat!!! All green---no baccy!!! WTF???

I was telling me (eldest) kids about this thread..and they reminded me of another one of my moments...

I was downstairs with me dressing gown on... and a bottle of Jack Daniels later... they suggested I get to bed. So off I went...with Laura following behind me to make sure I got there.

She said as I was going up the stairs.. I began to shit mesell!! (whilst walking)

Large winnets were dropping on the stairs as i went up..she took photos!!

I`m not a pisser me... I`m a shitter!

den

[eFestivals]

not quite the subject of this thread, but it probably fits better here than it ever will do anywhere else....

It just so happens that in the road opposite my house there's a big porn studio (owned by the hubbie of a well known british porn star). It's impossible not to notice people coming and going sometimes.

One day I was popping out to buy some lunch, and happened to walk down the road by a young-ish (25-ish) male/female couple who'd come out of the porn studio. They might have been the cleaners for all I knew at that point.

But as I walked along behind them, I heard the woman say to the bloke "... and then he came all over my tits!".

They obviously weren't the cleaners.

[saratink]

not quite the subject of this thread, but it probably fits better here than it ever will do anywhere else....

It just so happens that in the road opposite my house there's a big porn studio (owned by the hubbie of a well known british porn star). It's impossible not to notice people coming and going sometimes.

One day I was popping out to buy some lunch, and happened to walk down the road by a young-ish (25-ish) male/female couple who'd come out of the porn studio. They might have been the cleaners for all I knew at that point.

But as I walked along behind them, I heard the woman say to the bloke "... and then he came all over my tits!".

They obviously weren't the cleaners.

[jump]

My old office use to be right next door to a strip club and when the girls use to go outside for cig breaks random guys would come upto them and asked them to get their tits out, how much for a private session etc.

[oafc0000]

not quite the subject of this thread, but it probably fits better here than it ever will do anywhere else....

It just so happens that in the road opposite my house there's a big porn studio (owned by the hubbie of a well known british porn star). It's impossible not to notice people coming and going sometimes.

One day I was popping out to buy some lunch, and happened to walk down the road by a young-ish (25-ish) male/female couple who'd come out of the porn studio. They might have been the cleaners for all I knew at that point.

But as I walked along behind them, I heard the woman say to the bloke "... and then he came all over my tits!".

They obviously weren't the cleaners.

[Kizzie]

not quite the subject of this thread, but it probably fits better here than it ever will do anywhere else....

It just so happens that in the road opposite my house there's a big porn studio (owned by the hubbie of a well known british porn star). It's impossible not to notice people coming and going sometimes.

One day I was popping out to buy some lunch, and happened to walk down the road by a young-ish (25-ish) male/female couple who'd come out of the porn studio. They might have been the cleaners for all I knew at that point.

But as I walked along behind them, I heard the woman say to the bloke "... and then he came all over my tits!".

They obviously weren't the cleaners.

[rachbon]

not quite the subject of this thread, but it probably fits better here than it ever will do anywhere else....

It just so happens that in the road opposite my house there's a big porn studio (owned by the hubbie of a well known british porn star). It's impossible not to notice people coming and going sometimes.

One day I was popping out to buy some lunch, and happened to walk down the road by a young-ish (25-ish) male/female couple who'd come out of the porn studio. They might have been the cleaners for all I knew at that point.

But as I walked along behind them, I heard the woman say to the bloke "... and then he came all over my tits!".

They obviously weren't the cleaners.

[greenfairy43]

i love walking past people and hearing funny wee bits of their conversation.

[zlatan07]

i'll preface this story with a snippet of info, t'was my first night drinking jack daniels.

went to a pub, had a few, went to my friends gig , had quite a few more, went to one club, got kb'd, shouted at the bouncer, headed up to another and somehow got in. from then on my memory is pretty much vacant. cut to 6am at the black jack table, only me and my mate left standing (relative statement) everyone else had left, and i realise i wasnt wearing any underwear....

i definitely started the night with underwear on.

[Snufflebutt]

finding a carrier bag with a packet of biscuits and a twist n squeeze cause i've been buying rubbish in newsbox,

[rabid]

i'll preface this story with a snippet of info, t'was my first night drinking jack daniels.

went to a pub, had a few, went to my friends gig , had quite a few more, went to one club, got kb'd, shouted at the bouncer, headed up to another and somehow got in. from then on my memory is pretty much vacant. cut to 6am at the black jack table, only me and my mate left standing (relative statement) everyone else had left, and i realise i wasnt wearing any underwear....

i definitely started the night with underwear on.

[Nyika]

I seem to recall being sick on the floor of concorde 2 last night, of all the things I've done whilst wasted in Brighton that really is one of the worst...

[brighteyes]

Oh! I pissed myself on the floor of my bedroom in halls in the first year of uni. I was smashed, lying on the floor in my tiny room between my bed and the bathroom, unable to make it to either. So I decided to piss and sleep where I was. That was a low point I suppose.

[rexclark]

i'll preface this story with a snippet of info, t'was my first night drinking jack daniels.

went to a pub, had a few, went to my friends gig , had quite a few more, went to one club, got kb'd, shouted at the bouncer, headed up to another and somehow got in. from then on my memory is pretty much vacant. cut to 6am at the black jack table, only me and my mate left standing (relative statement) everyone else had left, and i realise i wasnt wearing any underwear....

i definitely started the night with underwear on.

[gemstarrr]

just the usual falling over/downstairs/being sick really.

pretty embarrassing in freshers week we were predrinking in my flat and i was smashed and decided i'd go and introduce myself to the flat downstairs cos we hadnt met them yet. apparently they were making dinner and i asked if i could have some and then just sat there and ate all their food. they weren't impressed! i apologised the next day but they never liked me from then on haha.

then another time we were playing fuzzy duck and one of my porpheits was to run into a wall and splat against it when anyone yelled 'quackers!'. this continued in the bars and clubs, needless to say got a few funny looks!

the other night we were all really trashed and got back to the house and my mate suddenly looks really messed. we asked him if he was ok. he was like no, staring at his tshirt on the floor. he held it up then looked down at the t shirt he was wearing and was like 'i thought i was wearing this t shirt all night!'

[zlatan07]

*cough* date rape *cough*

[Donkey]

One night when I was living with an ex-girlfriend we got thrown out of a nightclub in Glasgow called Clatty Pats, as I couldn't stand up or something.

Anyway I was condemned to the couch for the evening, which happened to be in the same room as the bird's new made to measure curtains which were her pride and joy and cost me many hours of walking around curtain shops.

To cut a long story short, I went sleepwalking in the middle of the night and pished all over the new curtains.

Edited October 10, 2010 by Donkey

[rexclark]

Strange alot of these stories seem to centre around Glasgow.

[zlatan07]

Strange alot of these stories seem to centre around Glasgow.

[eFestivals]

well we do have a reputation to live up to!

And a death rate of 20% due to alcohol to keep up too.

And I say praise the lord. Otherwise there'd be 20% more Scots.

[rachbon]

And a death rate of 20% due to alcohol to keep up too.

And I say praise the lord. Otherwise there'd be 20% more Scots.

[The Nal]

why do you always say horrible things about scottish people?

[eFestivals]

why do you always say horrible things about scottish people?

I do it to point out to small minded Scots that us English can do the national hate thing just as well as you lot do as standard.

Luckily tho for those Scots that continually prove themselves as unable to take the jokes they think funny when they do them to others, us English are far nicer than you lot, cos it's not our national sport.

PS: the 20% thing is true. That's one to take up with your countrymen.

Edited October 11, 2010 by eFestivals

[rachbon]

I do it to point out to small minded Scots that us English can do the national hate thing just as well as you lot do as standard.

Luckily tho for those Scots that continually prove themselves as unable to take the jokes they think funny when they do them to others, us English are far nicer than you lot, cos it's not our national sport.

PS: the 20% thing is true. That's one to take up with your countrymen.

[jump]

In the intrest of moving this back to the topic at hand...

I've got weird drunk logic, one time drunk I decide it's a good idea to set my phone, ipod, clock etc. 5 mins fast so I can get up earlier to make sure I catch my morning commute train but I could only do it then as when I would go asleep I'd forget I did it, so I pissed about at my place setting times forward but it didn't work as I remembered I did it the next day.

Edited October 11, 2010 by jump