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The Simpsons


Guest Cardboard Box City

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Skinner: Oh Superintendent, I was just, er, stretching my calves of the windowsill, isometric excercise. Care to join me?

Chalmers: Er, right. Seymour why is there smoke coming out of your oven?

Skinner: Oh no! That isn't smoke, that's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm steam clams.

[skinner runs across to Krusty Burger to buy burgers to replace his burnt roast. He enters the dining room with them.]

Skinner: Well Superintendent I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!

Chalmers: I thought you said we were having 'steamed clams'?

Skinner: Oh no, I said 'steamed hams'. That's what I call hamburgers.

Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?

Skinner: Yes. It's a, regional dialect.

Chalmers: Oh yeah? What region?

Skinner: Er, upstate New York.

Chalmers: Really. Well I'm from Utica and I've never heard the phrase 'steamed hams' before.

Skinner: Oh no, not in Utica it's an, Albany expression.

Chalmers: I see. You know these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger?

Skinner: Haha, oh no, patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.

Chalmers: For steamed hams?

Skinner: Yes.

Chalmers: Yes and you call them steamed hams, despite the fact that are obviously grilled.

Skinner: Uh you know... One thing I should... excuse me for one second.

Chalmers: Of course.

[skinner enters and leaves the kitchen swiftly upon seeing it is now on fire]

Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.

Chalmers: Yes, I should be, good lord what is happening in there?!

Skinner: Aurora Borealis?

Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?

Skinner: Yes.

Chalmers: May I see it?

Skinner: Er, no.

Agnes: Seymour, the house is on fire!

Skinner: No, Mother, it's just the Northern Lights.

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Groundskeeper Willie is brilliant.

Milhouse: The teachers lounge! Is it true they make fun of students in there?

Lisa: Oh don't be silly!

Willie (with blue mop on head): Look at me! I'm Milhouse, I tuck my shirt into me underpants. I've got no friends, so I confide in Willie!

And where Homer tries to steal his grease - "the lads have a temper, and they've been drinking all day!".

Or where he fights the wolf.

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is it not chalmers? just the americans pronounce it wrong...?

any episode with sideshow bob in it is quality!

random episodes that come to mind are

-the one with the race to the cabin that gets lost in an avalance. carl - aw nuts

-the christmas one where bart steals the video game. homer - marge, is lisa at camp granada?

-the garbage man one with u2.

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Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, in your own words, please tell us what happened after you and your husband were ejected from the restaurant.

Marge: We pretty much went straight home.

Lionel Hutz: Remember, Mrs. Simpson, you're still under oath.

Marge: We drove around until 3:00 in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.

Lionel Hutz: And when you couldn't find any?

Marge: (crying) We went fishing!

Lionel Hutz: Does this sound like a man that had had all he could eat?

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