Last 24hrs..3 things I`ve never done before

[gratedenini]

I often go into the traps to strain ie to keep it in..I`ve done it all me life and am proficient.

My Forrest Gumps are strong and I can clench em jam tight... tell yer--if a marauding chocolate digger were to try and get in there uninvited, he`d be in trouble I tell yer.

Anyway, when I`m in there..I`m silent--and then some bastard comes in the next trap and starts to crimp one off.. then that simultaneous expulsion of chuff gas and the accompanying grunt... ooooo it makes yer wanna puke eh.

TBH... on the rare occasion I do make brown fish in publicio...I do make sure they are empty..and I dont f**k about... troos doon/squat/grunt/out it trails.

I do find most Public Traps can handle me a lot better than home based ones..but I suppose 70% of em dont go..and so the general public can also reap the benefit of a viewin.

The biggest shite I`ve ever came across was in New Zealand.. we were in some woods,walking and there was a little set of lavvies.. I went in for a slash...and bugger me--there it was... it was like a mink in a casserole and all these quick growning ferns had surrounded it.

I took a picture and made me exit....

den

Edited January 26, 2011 by gratedenini

[gratedenini]

Brilliant man ... 'Mink'

Anyways, now that I've wiped the laughing tears from my eyes ... I'll tell the brief story about the time I had this awkward moment of going into a trap in work at the same time as some other geezer went into one. Silence. It was like neither of us wanted to commit to the first length ... then just as the silent tension was building, the guy opens a bag of crisps and starts eating!

[rachbon]

girls loo's are funny - no-one wants anyone to know if they're doing a number two - so you sit there and hold on until whoever has just walked in has finished and gone. It is the unwritten rule that if you go to the loo and someone is already in there you just do a quick wee and leave and wait until the other person has finished before going in to continue with your business.

My ex is funny about loo's he won't use public or work ones at all unless absolutely necessary. and as far as i know he hasn't done a number 2 in over 10 years as he wouldnt go if i was at home.

[diddly-dee]

it was like a mink in a casserole and all these quick growning ferns had surrounded it.

I took a picture and made me exit....

den

[rabid]

I don't have nearly the same sort of toilet hang ups that some people on this thread have, but one thing I really dislike and try and avoid is a warm toilet seat. Nowt worse than settling yourself down only to feel the lingering body heat of the previous occupant. Daft I know because mopre than likely someone will have been in before me at some point during the day but I don't really want to be reminded.

[ampersand]

I don't have nearly the same sort of toilet hang ups that some people on this thread have, but one thing I really dislike and try and avoid is a warm toilet seat. Nowt worse than settling yourself down only to feel the lingering body heat of the previous occupant. Daft I know because mopre than likely someone will have been in before me at some point during the day but I don't really want to be reminded.

[gratedenini]

I don't have nearly the same sort of toilet hang ups that some people on this thread have, but one thing I really dislike and try and avoid is a warm toilet seat. Nowt worse than settling yourself down only to feel the lingering body heat of the previous occupant. Daft I know because mopre than likely someone will have been in before me at some point during the day but I don't really want to be reminded.

[rabid]

Thing is with a cold seat of course is that it contracts the doors of the lounge doesn`t it... and makes it harder to expell any fish from the back kitchen.

Another one.. is this a Den thing...or a general obs.

I cant let any slash go before the fish. I know that if I`m wanting a wee... and I`m ready for my monthly... I cannot have the wee..or the fish wont come. It may be a pychological thing perhaps?Does this phenonomen exist with any of you?

den

Edited January 28, 2011 by rabid

[rexclark]

I remember years ago when I worked in the staff canteen at House Of Frasers, me and two of my mates finished our shift and were heading out to the pub. Me and my mate waited outside the toilet on our other mate who was using the loo. After a while there was some ungodly noises coming from the loo, straigning,grunting and some horrible farting noises. We banged on the door and told him to hurry up. When the toilet door eventually opened it turned out it wasn't him but someone else! All the fella had to say for himself was "Jeeso, I shouldn't have had that Cheese and Broccoli bake for lunch"

Needles to say we never looked the guy in the eye ever again.

[timespeedsup]

Thing is with a cold seat of course is that it contracts the doors of the lounge doesn`t it... and makes it harder to expell any fish from the back kitchen.

Another one.. is this a Den thing...or a general obs.

I cant let any slash go before the fish. I know that if I`m wanting a wee... and I`m ready for my monthly... I cannot have the wee..or the fish wont come. It may be a pychological thing perhaps?Does this phenonomen exist with any of you?

den