funny pick up lines

[emilychon]

Share a pick up line that you find funny.

I just found this today:

Baby I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long

LOL

[AcademicPistol]

I never want anything to come between us....... except for latex.

[AcademicPistol]

I might not be the best looking man here but I am the only one talking to you.

Edited July 31, 2012 by AcademicPistol

[jump]

Stare at her boobs and go "mama"

Is your Daddy a dealer because you're dope to me?

If I flip a coin what's the chances I will get head?

Do you want to see some magic? Lets go back to yours and tomorrow I will disapear.

Screw me if I'm wrong but I think you want to sleep with me.

Are you going to give me your number or do I have to follow you home?

[AcademicPistol]

Get your coat love....... i've got a knife.....

Edited July 31, 2012 by AcademicPistol

[AcademicPistol]

Or finish your drink..... i've got a spud gun.......

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

[grumpyhack]

My niece was clubbing in Cardiff when she met Gerrit, a South African rugby player who was celebrating with his team mates after playing their last match of a month long tour.

Earlier Gerrit, whose first language was Africaans and who spoke little English, had met some other girls in a club and he asked them what was the polite way in English to introduce yourself to a woman you fancied. So they told him.

When he met my niece he remembered the chat up line he'd been given and so went up to her, offered his hand and said very politely: "Would you like a bonk?"

My niece was at first horrified and Gerrit was very embarrased but he managed to explain that he'd been told by the other girls that it was the right thing to say.

It obviously worked. They went from the club for a meal, chatted all evening and the next day Gerrit flew back to South Africa.

They kept in touch and a month later he flew back to Britain for her birthday.

Love blossomed, they married and have been together for more than 10 years.

So, if you want a proven chat up line try: "Would you like a bonk?"

[AcademicPistol]

*puts spud gun back in holster and applauds grumpyhacks tale*

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Yes, nice tale grumpyhack.

A friend of a friend actually used to go around to women in night clubs asking them if they wanted a shag. A lot of times he was told to go away (probably less politely though) but not all times. He had enough of a 'hit' ratio to make it worth his while getting the knock back most times. Mind you these were 'loved up' rave type places. Not sure how one would fair in a 'square'ish' type nightclub.

[Pokeybumwanker]

Yes, nice tale grumpyhack.

A friend of a friend actually used to go around to women in night clubs asking them if they wanted a shag. A lot of times he was told to go away (probably less politely though) but not all times. He had enough of a 'hit' ratio to make it worth his while getting the knock back most times. Mind you these were 'loved up' rave type places. Not sure how one would fair in a 'square'ish' type nightclub.

[Charlotte1988]

Nice tale, Grumpyhack! Good job she gave him a second chance to make a first impression!

[harrisj]

Some good ones here.

[lovehate]

baby are you from tenesse, cuz you're the only ten i see!

[david2013ike]

I love this thread

[eFestivals]

Yes, nice tale grumpyhack.

A friend of a friend actually used to go around to women in night clubs asking them if they wanted a shag. A lot of times he was told to go away (probably less politely though) but not all times. He had enough of a 'hit' ratio to make it worth his while getting the knock back most times. Mind you these were 'loved up' rave type places. Not sure how one would fair in a 'square'ish' type nightclub.

there was someone I knew who did that in the mid-eighties - he did it with just about any woman he spoke to, no matter where they were.

He wasn't the prettiest guy in the world, and I could never quite believe that he got laid more than he got slapped or punched.

[Osama Jim Laden]

'Smile if you fancy me'

Edited December 17, 2013 by Osama Jim Laden

[Bisque]

Do you fancy a man sandwich?