Advise needed from the parents of teens out there

[ohmygod]

I am attending for the 5th time this year but have first time problem that all you experienced parents of older children out there may have a view on.

I'm taking my older son (who has been twice before) who's 15 in July along with his friend who is already 15.

How do you think I should treat the alchohol question though? Should it be a strict no as he's underage or a more pragmatic approach - say 2 cans of weak cider a day and no more?

They will be wandering off together a lot of the time on there own.

Thoughts???

[daclown28]

Depends on the kid to be honest. if e wants to get smashed then he will

[Flounder]

Having been the parent of a vomit-covered teen of that age several years ago at Glastonbury, I can only say what a nightmare it was - and he had a 3 day hangover, making him a joy to be with

[psychology]

How do the parents of your son's friend feel about you giving him alcohol? I would check with them first.

[gmb1992]

I don't have children of my own but I'd say that it depends on the other kid's parents too. Its up to you what your son gets up to but try and see what they'd like their kid to be up to.

LAst thing you want is someones grouchy parents on your back

[Bigjonyr]

As a once 15 yr old boy I can be pretty sure he's going to do he's best to get at least a couple of beers in. Strike a deal where if he can get served he gets served but he only drinks draught rather than spirits. Warn him that if he over does it and ends up in the med centre, he runs the very strong risk of getting his wristband cut off and booted off site with his pretty pissed off mum in tow.

[ohmygod]

How do the parents of your son's friend feel about you giving him alcohol? I would check with them first.

[ohmygod]

As a once 15 yr old boy I can be pretty sure he's going to do he's best to get at least a couple of beers in. Strike a deal where if he can get served he gets served but he only drinks draught rather than spirits. Warn him that if he over does it and ends up in the med centre, he runs the very strong risk of getting his wristband cut off and booted off site with his pretty pissed off mum in tow.

Edited June 19, 2013 by ohmygod

[musky]

I'd say there's less of an issue with your own son than there is with his friend.

Although it's not actually legal to buy drinks for them from a bar (unless it's as part of a meal) AFAIK you can provide your own drinks for them. Though maybe you have to be at home, I'm not sure. I'd say under the circumstances it's your call with you son. but it might be worthwhile checking with you son's friend's parents what their views are - they might have strong opinions on the matter.

[Ruwise]

I would check with the parent of his friend first as you want to make sure that they are treated the same but I would argue that it is best you give them a little and know what they have gotten than have them go off and potentially try and drink behind your back.

[Bigjonyr]

Oops sorry! I'd give him a go but scare the crap out of him regarding over doing it.

[hulk mike]

he's going to nick your beer

number the cans with a marker, that'll piss him right off,

as long as you retain the ability to drink in sequence

[jimmillen]

Tricky one... Like other responses I don't have kids myself but I did first go to the festival when I was 16 - so not too much different! - and with some mates; I'm just trying to think how I'd have reacted if I'd been told I couldn't drink at all - I don't think it would have gone down well & I fear you could end up with a seriously grumpy teenager all weekend - up to you if you can live with that I guess!

I think what would have worked for me at that age would have been some ground rules based on common sense & not taking the p*ss - i.e.

- Don't ask, don't tell - if he gets served then you don't want to know about it!

- Stay off spirits (Prob couldn't afford much of them anyway!)

- If he's with you then perhaps 1 or 2 drinks - but no more.

With a bit of a stick & carrot approach - I think it's reasonable to say that if you're trusting him to be an adult & act responsibly, there should be big consequences if he doesn't manage that. You'd be the best judge of what consequences he would least prefer!

And finally I think just saying you want all of you to be able to relax & enjoy the festival without being too worried about each other's safety - Glasto's a bit enough thing that I hope he'd respect that?

Definitely agree with other replies too about consulting the other kid's parents too.

Hope you all have a brilliant festival whatever you choose to do!

[jimmillen]

PS One other thing I meant to mention - when I was 15 I'd have been acutely conscious of "unfairness" - which in this case would mean if he doesn't get to drink a lot, then you probably shouldn't either.

I'm sure with them to look after you weren't planning to get wasted anyway, but it would be tough for the youngsters to see you enjoying ale all day if you're telling them not to have any...

[gmb1992]

I 'd give him a couple of cans and then hopefully that would be enough for him... I know if i was 15 and at Glasto with my friend though it would have been a very diferent story

[Wickedfaerie]

When my daughter was 15 I knew she was going to be drinking with her friends; luckily she was with a parent I knew would keep an eye on them and check no-one was going over the top. I'm lucky in that I have sensible kids, but I've always found trust is the way to keep them in line. "Here's a couple of bottles of cider. I know your friends will bring alcohol too, but I'm trusting you to be sensible about it. I'll be very disappointed if you get too drunk to know what you're doing" sort of thing. This has worked so far!

Edited June 19, 2013 by Wickedfaerie

[ohmygod]

he's going to nick your beer

number the cans with a marker, that'll piss him right off,

as long as you retain the ability to drink in sequence

[ohmygod]

By good - made me laugh

[Grimmy]

Depends on the other kids parents. If they're alright with it I'd just say give them a moderate amount of lager/cider so they don't just try to get alcohol elsewhere

[whatmidlifecrisis?]

Been through this with son and daughter at Glastonbury. They are both pretty level headed and my daughter was probably the worse at 16 - too many Brothers out of sight with her older cousins. Nothing major - no puke in tents just a bit jaded the following morning.

They have both been brought up with alcohol around and also seen the worst it can do with a family member so have a reasonably healthy respect for it. I would go for the compromise approach as stated above - "you can have a few tinnies but no buying from the bars and if you do and get drunk then all privileges stop". I would def check with the other lad's parents as well.

Thankfully mine are 18 and 21 this year and I am looking forward to them buying for me!

[ohmygod]

All great advise - thanks all.

Seems your all thinking along the same lines as I was but its good to hear it from others. Conclusions then:

1. Make sure other parents views are taken.

2. Give them a couple of drinks but tell them it's based on trust and that's it no buying anything elsewhere

3. Explain the consequences of them going over the top

I have been going for a couple of years with children and this year will be taking his 12 year old younger brother as well so haven't been able to / wouldn't want to go and overdo it anyway. Stressful enough trying to get away from the end of a headliner set with everybody in tow - couldn't imagine doing it drunk!!

I will tell them all though that in 6 years I expect them all to buy me a night at the cider bus to make up for all of these years of restraint!!!!

[snipe]

Ok usual no kids disclaimer but I remember myself as a teenager and my brother as one (who was a lot more crafty) so here would be my advise based on that:

I wouldn't bother starting them off with anything as that will only encourage them to get more and mean they got two more cans than they would have anyway. Isn't really any point in trying to be reasonable because (the majority of) teenagers will always attempt to appear to stick to the rules instead of actually stick to the rules and will assume they can act sober when necessary to fool you.

Your best course of action is to make sure they eat regularly which will at least stop them getting fall over drunk. Don't give them money for a meal and assume they will spend it on that. Arrange to get breakfast, lunch and dinner with them. Get them stodgy potato based dishes. If you think they look a bit wobbly after 9pm go drag them to an oggie stand. If i look back to my youthful drunkeness it was always because money I'd been given for food was swapped out for booze and I was drinking on an empty stomach.

[Jackmypie]

I was 15 3 years ago (but I turned 16 the same dates as glasto so I was 16 for the majority of the fest ) I only took 2 crates (5 a dayish) of cider that my mum bought for me that lasted the whole 5 days haha! I was more interested in seeing the bands than getting w*nkered to be fair. The next year was different however

If they want to get smashed, then they probably will. It's Glastonbury!

It's probably more important to talk to them about the dodgy drugs at Glasto. My parents gave me a lecture on that.

[giantkatestacks]

I would repeat what Jackmypie just said, so if you do give them some cans tell them not to mix with anything from the dance village, it will be easier for them to buy drugs than alcohol so that would be my main concern tbh.

[Guest]

Are you planning on staying together all weekend?

If you're letting them go off on their own, just resign yourself to the fact that he's 15 years old... try and remind yourself what you might have been getting up to at that age. If you're sticking together, then unless you're planning on getting drunk most of the time, I wouldn't have though it a problem. Restricting him to a couple of weak ciders a day sounds a bit party-pooperish. Do they like drinking even?

And what do the parents of his friend expect? and your sons mum...? are you in agreement?