Weirdest thing you've seen at Glastonbury Festival?

[phillyfaddle]

On 19 April 2016 at 2:11 PM, Chazwozza said:

Yes! I remember these - 100% Beefcock & The Titsbursters - they combined nuclear burst levels of loudness with being utterly shite. Made me cry with laughter.

Hahahaha - they were utter, utter, utter shite weren't they, but totally fascinating? We watched their whole set, pissed. It was genius. I was with a friend who'd just returned from 10 years working in Hong Kong. Don't think she ever recovered!

[morph100]

All new people to the festival should be made to read this before attending

[guypjfreak]

me laying on the floor shouting YOU FUCKKKING GOOOD    to neil young

[Flysheet]

Possibly 92, wandering somewhere up in the Green Fields or that way on the Thursday night, there was a re-enactment of George and the Dragon with shooting flames and stuff.

 

Still not entirely sure if I did see it or not, anyone else around back then care to help me out?

 

Also paying a visit to the travellers field in 90, that was an eye opener to a young bloke who didn't have too much worldly experience!

[RichardWaller]

Possibly these guys Shibusashirazu Orchestara. This is their slot on Jazz World but they opened the Pyramid in 2002, my first Glastonbury. Remember there being a lot of blue paint getting chucked about..

I've seen Manic Street Preachers perform Die In The Summertime at the festival a couple of times, nice to see them getting into the festival spirit.

[RichardWaller]

On 17/04/2016 at 8:30 PM, NorthernScum said:

Certainly not the weirdest thing I've seen, but in probably 1999, in some part of the Green Fields, a young fellow was just wandering along. He was carrying a case which he popped on top of an oil drum bin and then opened. The case contained a proper old-timey wind-up gramophone player. He then wound it up (like you would) and put on an old 78rpm of bizarre old tunes. I found this amusing. Good evening.

Lol. "Right, I'm going to Glastonbury. Wellies, check. Toilet roll, check. Tent, check. Ah, gramophone, can't forget that!"

[RossTC]

This thread makes my day when i have a read through! God i love the weirdness! 

[kellly]

Love this thread.

Wierdest thing I've seen was in 2009 I think, and probably not the wierdest thing going on at Glastonbury but it got me at the time. Was bumbling around shangri la and walked into one of the little rooms off one of the alleyways, it was totally silent and there was just one man sat on a couch watching a large tv screen which was showing tropical fish swimming round. I know to expect the unexpected, but it took me a minute to register what was going on. Think I just stood there for a moment before thinking "ok", and wandering back outside.

[Glasto8]

Can't remember which year it was I one saw a guy trying to break a record of how many pegs he could attach to his face. Think he got to high 30's 

[4AssedMonkey]

Sunday morning, 2009, Park Hill.  Grabbed a coffee and some brekky from the tea & toast caravan and had a walk up for the view.

Big gang of Irish lads sat around absolutely off their nut, clearly haven't been to sleep and are passing round a hwuuuuge bag of speed and some hip flasks.  One of them stands up and shouts, "right, I'll show you!"  Then proceeds to do multiple roly-poly's down the hill and hits the back of the Rabbit Hole.  Everyone pisses themselves laughing and he crawls back up the hill.  2 minutes later, someone else does it, then another to increasingly raucous cheers.

Next thing, bloke in a pink rabbit suit with the massive ears and everything, climbs on top of a caravan at the back of the Rabbit Hole and starts telling them off for banging against the building.  The Irish lads love it and start asking him to sing a song.  Rabbit disappears.  Then reappears with a guitar and proceeds to serenade them with a version of Love Me Do, takes a bow, flicks them the V and fucks off back indoors.

I swear I nearly passed out laughing at all this.

[Charm]

4 minutes ago, 4AssedMonkey said:

Sunday morning, 2009, Park Hill.  Grabbed a coffee and some brekky from the tea & toast caravan and had a walk up for the view.

Big gang of Irish lads sat around absolutely off their nut, clearly haven't been to sleep and are passing round a hwuuuuge bag of speed and some hip flasks.  One of them stands up and shouts, "right, I'll show you!"  Then proceeds to do multiple roly-poly's down the hill and hits the back of the Rabbit Hole.  Everyone pisses themselves laughing and he crawls back up the hill.  2 minutes later, someone else does it, then another to increasingly raucous cheers.

Next thing, bloke in a pink rabbit suit with the massive ears and everything, climbs on top of a caravan at the back of the Rabbit Hole and starts telling them off for banging against the building.  The Irish lads love it and start asking him to sing a song.  Rabbit disappears.  Then reappears with a guitar and proceeds to serenade them with a version of Love Me Do, takes a bow, flicks them the V and fucks off back indoors.

I swear I nearly passed out laughing at all this.

Brilliant story, only at Glastonbury. 
Charm x

[shuttlep]

10 minutes ago, 4AssedMonkey said:

Sunday morning, 2009, Park Hill.  Grabbed a coffee and some brekky from the tea & toast caravan and had a walk up for the view.

Big gang of Irish lads sat around absolutely off their nut, clearly haven't been to sleep and are passing round a hwuuuuge bag of speed and some hip flasks.  One of them stands up and shouts, "right, I'll show you!"  Then proceeds to do multiple roly-poly's down the hill and hits the back of the Rabbit Hole.  Everyone pisses themselves laughing and he crawls back up the hill.  2 minutes later, someone else does it, then another to increasingly raucous cheers.

Next thing, bloke in a pink rabbit suit with the massive ears and everything, climbs on top of a caravan at the back of the Rabbit Hole and starts telling them off for banging against the building.  The Irish lads love it and start asking him to sing a song.  Rabbit disappears.  Then reappears with a guitar and proceeds to serenade them with a version of Love Me Do, takes a bow, flicks them the V and fucks off back indoors.

I swear I nearly passed out laughing at all this.

love that story

[shuttlep]

in the Park one year there was some guy on his own around 6 am , as I was wondering back from the stone circle, .

 

he's walking along no top on, trousers around his ankle, screaming nonsensical stuff. two security guards walk up to him. tell him to pull his pants up. he stands there with them still around his ankles and talks to them like nothing is wrong.

 

he pulls up his pants and walks off

 

[JoeyT]

Just come back to me...

Shangri La last year, drum & bass tent with people dancing on the bar dressed up in posh frocks with pig masks on.

 

[shuttlep]

bump

[phillyfaddle]

On 4/22/2016 at 0:08 PM, 4AssedMonkey said:

Sunday morning, 2009, Park Hill.  Grabbed a coffee and some brekky from the tea & toast caravan and had a walk up for the view.

Big gang of Irish lads sat around absolutely off their nut, clearly haven't been to sleep and are passing round a hwuuuuge bag of speed and some hip flasks.  One of them stands up and shouts, "right, I'll show you!"  Then proceeds to do multiple roly-poly's down the hill and hits the back of the Rabbit Hole.  Everyone pisses themselves laughing and he crawls back up the hill.  2 minutes later, someone else does it, then another to increasingly raucous cheers.

Next thing, bloke in a pink rabbit suit with the massive ears and everything, climbs on top of a caravan at the back of the Rabbit Hole and starts telling them off for banging against the building.  The Irish lads love it and start asking him to sing a song.  Rabbit disappears.  Then reappears with a guitar and proceeds to serenade them with a version of Love Me Do, takes a bow, flicks them the V and fucks off back indoors.

I swear I nearly passed out laughing at all this.

That is the best story I've read in ages. PMSL x

[Fladog]

On ‎09‎/‎04‎/‎2016 at 2:17 PM, airwaves said:

2014  at The Park, whilst waiting to see Thunderbirds are go, two blokes next to me - who also had two women with them.

The two blokes each pulled a tall - highball? - glass from their packs and proceeded to make two bloody marys

Ice - ? Thought this was almost impossible to get at Glasto

Vodka

Tomato juice

Worcester sauce

Tabasco Sauce

Celery salt - ffs, who carries celery salt with them

Stick of celery

Stick of carrot

I texted my wife. She asked 'are they glamping?'

How the f*** would I know

My mate bring a soda stream with him, for moring g & t's

[Woffy]

Surely the new posters in the 'New Here...?' Thread must have some to contribute...

[Chaaaris123]

Last year just sat around camp late afternoon having a chill out before the evenings adventures when a young man in a hoody and full balaclava (it was pretty hot out) stumbles into our little area.

He tripped on some ropes, fell into a tent, got up and tripped again, landing right in the middle of everyone.

He gets up, leans over onto the arm of my boyfriends camp chair, shuffles in a bit closer and goes...

'You seen Game of Thrones yeah?'

Before stumbling off into the distance.

We couldn't stop laughing for ages!

[Festival Liam]

On 4/12/2016 at 0:43 PM, craigh1 said:

2014 Friday night after Arcade Fire, my friend and I walked towards the SE corner and ended up in the circus big top.  

After the compere had finished trying to blow up a rubber glove on his head with his nose, he introduced an all male strip act to the largely family audience.  I say largely family audience in that the whole front row were children.

One part of this strip act had a man dressed as a stereotypical 'nerd' outfit complete with propeller cap and broken glasses.  He proceeded to slowly strip as he did tricks with a yo-yo and then finished a Rubik's cube in about 10 seconds.  As he stripped to the point where he had nothing but a sheath covering his gentleman's region, he decided to whip the yo-yo around his tackle, to the shock and surprise of the children immediately in front of him.

 

 

Hah that was 'Briefs', the male comedy/drag/burlesque show that has headlined the Circus Big Top the last two years. Sadly looks like they won't be returning. Shame, they were brilliant. 

[bellboy]

The first beer, of the first night of my first Glastonbury - Bread and Roses.  Watched someone totally out of it sizing up the barrels they use in there for tables.  Having eventually managed to stand opposite one he then tries to find his zip which thankfully he fails to do - time and time again.  Each time he goes to steady himself against the barrel he misses and stumbles over.  Eventually he just shrugs and wanders off.  We still talk about this as a funniest moment.

[Dave_c]

Was at the other stage last year and some dude came rushing into the crowd, pulled out the lad and proceeded to piss into a Thatchers gold paper cup. He needed a wee that much that he emptied it on the ground twice mid pee. He put it on the ground, zipped up and disappeared into the crowd. 

[Skoo]

I've got one!

I think it was 2008 and I was there with my boyfriend at the time.

We were wandering around the Healing Fields during the day and came upon a small meditation tent. As we approached, we could see the lady who owned the tent talking to a clearly steaming drunk fella with a can of beer in his hand - nothing too unusual there.

She was trying to tell him, very politely, that he couldn't join a meditation session because he was too drunk and he wouldn't enjoy it.

We started chatting to the lady, and she invited us to join her there and then for a guided meditation, to which we agreed.

So, we sat on a row chairs outside the tent - just me, my boyfriend, and the drunk guy who had stuck around and silently joined the session. I could tell the lady really didn't feel comfortable with him joining and she sort of said to him "ok I'll let you join" but wasn't too thrilled about it.

So the session starts, and it's all lovely and relaxing, looking out over the fields and hearing the sounds of the festival....being asked to focus on our breathing and all that.

I'm just getting into it when suddenly the drunk guy, who has clearly realised he is far too wasted for this, decides to lunge forwards off his chair into an army roll.

The problem is, instead of rolling AWAY from us which I'm sure was his intention, he is so hammered that he rolls directly into our line of sight, about 5 feet in front of us.

At this point the poor guy freezes, looking at us with an expression of sheer panic. I could actually see him trying to figure out how the hell he was going to get out of this, I'm sure he wanted the ground to swallow him up.

He stayed frozen in position for a painfully slow few seconds, before crawling away to the edge of the chairs, then getting up and running away.

At this point we went to pieces, it was such a surreal moment and one that I look back on with fondness.

 

 

 

Edited May 18, 2016 by MissStarlight

[Doug85]

Didn't happen at Glastonbury but T in the Park last year.... i was walking by some loo's and a lad came out of one and immediately itched his nose....as he walked by i noticed that he had a small piece of shit now sticking to his nostril. He gets back to his group of mates to then proclaim that one of them "stinks of shit" only for one of his mates to tell him "Keith man you have got shit on your nose you scruff"......

[bennyboi]

I have regaled you all with tale before on an identical thread but I'll do it again. 

I believe it was 09, me and a mate where somewhere in the SE corner and there was a fenced off, what looked like, a smoking area out the back of a venue and there was this bird in nothing but here knickers rolling round in the mud and she was getting herself right off (and before you ask it wasn't downlow and it was 100% a bird) I was on the outside of the fenced off area with a mate who was as equally spangled as i was a we just stared for a good 15mins solid.

There as been drug induced things, like talking to chap who I thought looked like Micheal McIntyre drawn as a Simpsons character which just weirded me out.