Some news...

[Katster]

Congratulations Ed how are you both doing so far?? We just had 2nd (20 week) scan today, all looking good as far as they can tell. My bump suddenly appeared a couple of weeks ago and people who don't know are starting to brave asking. People who do know are being so nice to me too and everyone supported me at Bearded Theory which was nice as I probably couldn't have done it without them all - especially Dan.

The thing with the trailer tent Barry is that we are getting it from a mate who is selling it a million times cheaper than we will ever find again. It has seperate bedroom, is very warm and cosy (includes all curtains etc) and can be put up in less than an hour once we know how. It suits our needs and is far more spacious than any caravan or camper we would ever hope to afford. We also know where it's coming from so we know its history and maintenance costs should be cheaper certainly than a camper. If it doesn't work out we can always un-pitch then re-pitch somewhere else but pretty sure by then having put all the effort into making it the perfect end to my maternity leave I will be determined for it to work out whatever the weather. We do have an off road type buggy which will be used but for Glastonbury it will probably be spending the majority of time in rucksack carrier on our backs or crawling around the kids field. We (Dan and I) will probably share headline acts depending on tiredness etc. but judging off how we both are already and it's not even got here yet we'll be so wrapped up in daytime baby stuff we won't be that fussed about catching the big acts lol. It's going to take a lot of planning and organisation but we are starting now. What a lucky baby.

[Katster]

I thought I was a worrier until reading that post Barry! Lots of people take babies to festivals, I will make sure I am well informed before we do.

[bunique]

It is no more dangerous for a baby to co-sleep as it is for them to sleep in a cot, providing you follow some very simple guidelines (don't drink, don't smoke, keep loose blankets and pillows away). We would never have got any sleep (well, we didn't really ever, but that's another story!) if we hadn't co-slept. You'll have an absolute ball and it'll be a great experience for you all!

[Katster]

It won't be co-sleeping, it has a travel cot which will fit between us in the bedroom of the trailer tent.

Have you ever seen or been inside a trailer tent Barry? It's nothing like a standard tent.

[feral chile]

It won't be co-sleeping, it has a travel cot which will fit between us in the bedroom of the trailer tent.

Have you ever seen or been inside a trailer tent Barry? It's nothing like a standard tent.

Good compromise. We used to have our babies in the same room with us, in their own cot, but close enough so that I could reach over and touch them if they were restless.

I know there are various theories around this, but I felt happier doing it, and we are primates after all, I felt touch was important.

[grumpyhack]

It won't be co-sleeping, it has a travel cot which will fit between us in the bedroom of the trailer tent.

Have you ever seen or been inside a trailer tent Barry? It's nothing like a standard tent.

A big thumbs up from me for trailer tents. Our old one also had an old fashioned canvas rather than man-made fibre awning which was great. Kept us much warmer at night and cooler by day.

[Ed209]

Congratulations Ed how are you both doing so far?? We just had 2nd (20 week) scan today, all looking good as far as they can tell. My bump suddenly appeared a couple of weeks ago and people who don't know are starting to brave asking. People who do know are being so nice to me too and everyone supported me at Bearded Theory which was nice as I probably couldn't have done it without them all - especially Dan.

Yeah all good, thanks.

The better half luckily had no sickness but has been very tired, is starting to feel a little more energetic now though. We're around 16/17 weeks in so think bump will start coming at a fair old rate now. Really look forward to the 20 week. Can't wait to find out what we're having!

Great news about your scan! All the best for the next half of the pregnancy!

[bunique]

UNICEF advocates for co-sleeping for breastfeeding mothers. The ISIS organisation based at Durham University and James McKenna, the foremost researcher on infant sleep, based at Notre Dame can provide you with oodles of research to support safe co-sleeping. Fearmongering instead of educating leads to people falling asleep with their babies on sofas, categorically the most unsafe place to do so. But do carry on Barry

[bunique]

You also clearly missed the bit where I said "following some very basic guidelines". But that would involve you looking beyond the first two results on google!

[bunique]

And from a less grumpy perspective - the research on this is genuinely really interesting. Observations of mother-baby dyads who are breastfeeding shows that mother instinctively positions herself protectively around her baby, and that they rouse and wake in sync. Most research suggests around half of parents routinely co-sleep, even when they don't set out to. That's why it's so important to give clear guidelines and not a blanket "don't do it" policy, which poses greater risk. I remember jolting awake in bed with a newborn in my arms because I'd dozed off while sitting up feeding desperately trying not to fall asleep with her in bed. Once I'd done my research, I felt much more comfortable (and rested!) falling asleep with her in the bed (on my side, without blankets or pillows etc etc etc)

[ThomThomDrum]

That is pretty poor advice. The safest is a cot and I doubt you can find anywhere that would challenge that. A cot is much safer.

I wouldn't do it... Each to their own....

I think you are maybe making the risks seem a lot more than they are TBF. There is risk in everything we do. Of course if a parent(s) decide to co-sleep with a baby they must be careful and take precautions and know the best way to do so. But if they do that then it is very safe. I would suggest that most of those instances when a baby accidentally died during co-sleeping it most likely occurred when the adult co-sleeper did not take the right precautions.

Its the same with allowing a baby to sleep in a cot. You must do so in the right way and take the right precautions etc etc to minimise risks.

The numbers for accidental death of babies while co-sleeping are pretty low TBF. I believe something like 35 times more babies die from SIDs each year. Its all got to do with education and sensible parenting. Some say co-sleeping is a big no no but if parents know what they are doing its pretty safe and it can contribute to early bonding in a big way.

What it can lead to however is a very difficult period when you want to have the child begin to sleep in their own cot/bed. It may take a fair bit of time and patience for that transition to occur

Edited May 28, 2014 by ThomThomDrum

[t8yman]

We NEVER co-slept at home, ever. In my humble opinion, you are making a rod for your own back. 2 couples we know went through hell trying to get their toddlers to sleep in their own beds, put terrible strain on their relationships it did, to the point where one of the parents was sleeping in the toddlers bed every night for months.

There are small exceptions like on nights away etc, where they were the only sleeping options available.

Its fairly irrelevant in a thread dedicated to babies, but you'll be amazed how quickly they grow up!

[Katster]

It's personal choice. I'm already well aware that the best thing to do is what's right for you as a family.

[bunique]

Darn right Ms K!

[bunique]

You don't - baby sleeps on the same side as mother, not between parents

[ThomThomDrum]

Makes sense to me to reduce risks where ever possible. Co-sleeping only increases risk so I would not do it. That is just a fact people can choose to ignore if they want.

As I did say above... Each to there own...

Defo each to their own, but I dont know if there is a definitive study out there to prove what you claim.

There is a train of thought held by many SIDs experts and pediatricians that co-sleeping can actually reduce the risk of SIDs. Some believe it can help babies quickly develop their protective arousal mechanism. SIDs is apparently lower in countries in which co-sleeping is more commonly practiced (certain Asian countries). However, I dont think definitive studies have been done to prove this one way or the other yet.

Im in no way suggesting that whatever approach you take or have taken is wrong. But I dont think its fair to say that a infant is more at risk from death due to co-sleeping. The opposite may actually be true. We dont know yet.

[TheGayTent]

You can't learn how to be a parent from a book. Apart from anything else they all disagree with each other, particularly if you read what is effectively the same book a decade apart.

Common sense, some knowledge, expert advice, what works for your baby, and what works for you is the best starting point.

Ultimately, there is very rarely one right answer.

Happy Parenting all

[bunique]

And a lot of chocolate and gin.

[TheGayTent]

And a lot of chocolate and gin.

Clearly you're a terrible mother, how can you possibly be responsible for a baby and enjoy a glass of G&T at the same time

[bunique]

That's why slings were invented, so I can hold a chocolate bar in the other hand too!

[Ed209]

Anyone used these NCT antenatal classes? I've heard a few bad things, that basically they gloss over all the gritty, real stuff about childbirth and then try to push a load of quackery and nonsense at you, but would be interested to hear anyone else's experiences.

[t8yman]

I would take any guidance I could if I was you fella, cos when you get home and realise that they dont come with instructions, shits about to get real.

Real practical advice on how to hold, bathe, swaddle, change nappies, do's and dont's, practical advice for minor concerns and ideas on soothing a crying baby etc, are all invaluable, and whilst anyone will say " all anyone ever does is give their advice, do what you think is right" it sure is nice to have a little bit of guidance from the pros.

things are a little different these days, google wasnt around when we had our first baby!

[Ed209]

I'm just wondering that at the price they charge are they really worth doing over the NHS free ones? What good is advice if its all conflicting. I'd rather just stick with the NHS ones and not have to deal with people trying to peddle me homeopathy. I might have a skewed view of them though so wondering if anyone has spent the money and had a good experience.

[Katster]

We are starting antenatal classes after next midwife appointment. Its only four sessions and we might find it a load of rubbish but we don't know unless we try! I'm also going to aqua natal for the first time tomorrow I will let you know our experiences. Today we are shopping in Manchester for baby "things". Whilst its nice that people have donated stuff to us we are feeling the need to choose some of our own cool stuff. Dan was able to feel baby moving for first time last night. Apparently Barry he was at the same time reading about how from around about now onwards I will start hating everything he does lol. Ive not been too hormonal so far but I reckon even I will find it amusing if I start hating the Romans because they had no issues with constipation. Ha.

[bunique]

We just did NHS ones and they were grand. Everything else I got from parenting forums and google, and an excellent book called Hypnobirthing by Marie Mongan (no homeopathic remedies in sight!).