NFR NFC >>>>>>2015

[lucyginger]

Happy new year all, I've just recovered from New Years in Scotland hence the late post.

NFR NFC

Well done!!! What did you get up to?

[cokebabies92]

Well done!!! What did you get up to?

Mainly visiting family, including a couple of nights out in Glasgow and a house party in Paisley on new years. 4 and a half days of drinking on top of Christmas has done me in, feel like I need a replacement liver.

[jeffie]

Happy new year all, I've just recovered from New Years in Scotland hence the late post.

NFR NFC

Impressive fella, very impressive. Welcome to 2015!

[lucyginger]

Good effort, Mr Cockbaby!! Very good effort!

[mr gumby]

36 more posts to the big 5000!

Good work so far, everybody!

NFR NFC! :-)

[ICGenie]

Science folk on the TV telling us doom is coming.

Pah, it's January. The weather is supposed to be doomful. If it wasn't w*t in winter it wouldn't be sunny in summer!

Edited January 7, 2015 by ICGenie

[A Guy Called Matt]

Pah, it's January. The weather is supposed to be doomful. If it wasn't w*t in winter it wouldn't be sunny in summer!

You took the words right out of my mouth - well I said similar to the TV.

Yes I talk to the TV

Yes I am quite mad and loving every second of it.

Very w*t here today. Stuck in office again.......................... sigh

[lucyginger]

Pah, it's January. The weather is supposed to be doomful. If it wasn't w*t in winter it wouldn't be sunny in summer!

Exactly!!!!!

[deebeedoobee]

aftnoon all. Looking ok out there tonight for us southern softies

[Brunette]

It's w*t, wild and blustery up here in the North.. even I've had to add a coat today to my usual hat and mitten ensemble might even have to switch the heating on at this rate too!

[Woffy]

Right, right, ok...Jeffie and Yogs fault (encouragement): I shall submit some vids to the spoken word comp online.

Since i'm baring myself, i'm gonna go balls out and print my most *explicit* one first...get the rude stuff out of the way early.

But this is NOT meant to be offensive and i will defend it as art if required:

(I'm SO getting banned from eFests...)

HANGING FROM A CLIFF BY MY FINGERTIPS

Misfortune happens, as they say. So to minimise risk at the worst conceivable moment, check in for a pre-summer survey.

“No, not tonight. I’m tired”
He scratches her back; gently, lovingly.

We’ll carry out an inspection of all your major systems for wear and tear.

“No, don’t”
A single finger slides down, between her buttocks as she lays on her front.

Minor adjustments will be carried out at no extra charge.

“No. Yes”
As she relaxes, her legs open. His fingers probe her c**t.

Should the survey reveal any worn or defective parts, we will be happy to provide you with a quote and the option to have the work carried out at your earliest possible convenience.

“I didn’t want to do this tonight. Lick me”
Silently, he kneels between her legs and licks at her sweet ass.

By embracing technology, this innovative practice has benefited many of our clients.

“Stick your finger in my ass”
He complies, choosing the finger with the shortest, bitten down nail.

Finance can be finalised on-site by any one of our dedicated team of accountants and business advisers.

“I want your cock in my ass”
By rubbing his penis between her pussy lips, he wets the head and pushes softly against her hole. She pulls him in with a hiss and a moan.

Items on offer are listed below:

“Ram it in me”
A pause. Then he slams into her – cock in ass up to the hilt.

Lights – operation and alignment

“Again!”
He swells and stiffens inside her before withdrawing to plunge in deeper.

Battery condition and fluid levels.

“Ffffuck, yes!”
Harder this time, pulling her up and back onto all fours.

Cooling system operation and leaks.

“Fuck me like a dirty fucking bitch!”
With a fistful of hair he yanks back her head.

Emission levels

“Fuck me! Oh, fuck my tight ass!”
He steadies her ass by the hips and slams into her.

Steering operation and alignment.

“Call me a dirty little c**t! Do it!”
He bends over her and whispers obscenities into her ear through gritted teeth.

Road test and report.

“Uh, uh, Yeeeah. Put your fucking hands round my neck”
Her head buried in pillow. Her ass high in the air. Sweat drips from his forehead and runs down the steep gradient of her back into her hair.

Tyre Condition and pressure.

“Strangle me. Oh, god, I’m cumming, Strangle me”
As her muffled screams bite into the pillow, he empties himself silently into her spasming asshole. Hands perfectly tight around her smooth neck

Clutch fluid level.

“Get out of me now”
She winces as he removes his already flaccid cock from her ass

To book your appointment call…

“I told you I didn’t want to do that tonight”
He kneels back on his heels as she rolls over to sleep.

…any of our Sales Representatives on the following numbers.

He is distant.
And feels like a rapist again.

Service x Design = Excellence every time.

[stuartbert two hats]

Blimey.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Right, right, ok...Jeffie and Yogs fault (encouragement): I shall submit some vids to the spoken word comp online.

Since i'm baring myself, i'm gonna go balls out and print my most *explicit* one first...get the rude stuff out of the way early.

But this is NOT meant to be offensive and i will defend it as art if required:

(I'm SO getting banned from eFests...)

HANGING FROM A CLIFF BY MY FINGERTIPS

Misfortune happens, as they say. So to minimise risk at the worst conceivable moment, check in for a pre-summer survey.

“No, not tonight. I’m tired”

He scratches her back; gently, lovingly.

We’ll carry out an inspection of all your major systems for wear and tear.

“No, don’t”

A single finger slides down, between her buttocks as she lays on her front.

Minor adjustments will be carried out at no extra charge.

“No. Yes”

As she relaxes, her legs open. His fingers probe her c**t.

Should the survey reveal any worn or defective parts, we will be happy to provide you with a quote and the option to have the work carried out at your earliest possible convenience.

“I didn’t want to do this tonight. Lick me”

Silently, he kneels between her legs and licks at her sweet ass.

By embracing technology, this innovative practice has benefited many of our clients.

“Stick your finger in my ass”

He complies, choosing the finger with the shortest, bitten down nail.

Finance can be finalised on-site by any one of our dedicated team of accountants and business advisers.

“I want your cock in my ass”

By rubbing his penis between her pussy lips, he wets the head and pushes softly against her hole. She pulls him in with a hiss and a moan.

Items on offer are listed below:

“Ram it in me”

A pause. Then he slams into her – cock in ass up to the hilt.

Lights – operation and alignment

“Again!”

He swells and stiffens inside her before withdrawing to plunge in deeper.

Battery condition and fluid levels.

“Ffffuck, yes!”

Harder this time, pulling her up and back onto all fours.

Cooling system operation and leaks.

“Fuck me like a dirty fucking bitch!”

With a fistful of hair he yanks back her head.

Emission levels

“Fuck me! Oh, fuck my tight ass!”

He steadies her ass by the hips and slams into her.

Steering operation and alignment.

“Call me a dirty little c**t! Do it!”

He bends over her and whispers obscenities into her ear through gritted teeth.

Road test and report.

“Uh, uh, Yeeeah. Put your fucking hands round my neck”

Her head buried in pillow. Her ass high in the air. Sweat drips from his forehead and runs down the steep gradient of her back into her hair.

Tyre Condition and pressure.

“Strangle me. Oh, god, I’m cumming, Strangle me”

As her muffled screams bite into the pillow, he empties himself silently into her spasming asshole. Hands perfectly tight around her smooth neck

Clutch fluid level.

“Get out of me now”

She winces as he removes his already flaccid cock from her ass

To book your appointment call…

“I told you I didn’t want to do that tonight”

He kneels back on his heels as she rolls over to sleep.

…any of our Sales Representatives on the following numbers.

He is distant.

And feels like a rapist again.

Service x Design = Excellence every time.

Hello Woffy

Have you ever considered joining the AA?

In reality, apologies for the weak / lame joke above. Having only just read your written piece, and given it's provocative nature (nothing wrong in that though) I think I'm going to have to dwell on the contents a bit longer before I can 'conclude' anything.

PS - You can't get better than a Kwik Fit fitter!

[jeffie]

Vorsprung durch Technic

[jeffie]

Btw Woffy, reads well to me

[guypjfreak]

yep i like woffy old son ....................................you ent barred really are ya ?? wtf init yak yak ..no need imo

[Woffy]

I CAN'T DELETE YOU

You sit at the bottom of my computer screen.
An opened, but empty Messenger conversation.
I sit waiting.
Waiting for the alert, for your name to flash in orange.
Regularly i open the dialogue box.
You may not reply because your status is set to 'Away'.
And yet your profile picture changes intermittently -
A slideshow of the pictures you took for me -
They fade from one smiling photo of your face to another,
Pose after pose, showing them to him.
Wearing the clothes i bought for you.
Occasionally a friend will sign in.
As the alert pops up, the knot in my stomach tightens.
Until i realise it isn't you.
I gave away everything i had inside of me .
And now, knowing that i'm second best,
I continue to do it.
Continue to torture myself by
Making pointless futile gestures.
I'm just making a fucking prick out of myself.
I know i am.
But i don't know how to stop.
This has happened before,
So many times,
Minus the technology.
I don't know how to stop, and
I can't delete you.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I CAN'T DELETE YOU

You sit at the bottom of my computer screen.

An opened, but empty Messenger conversation.

I sit waiting.

Waiting for the alert, for your name to flash in orange.

Regularly i open the dialogue box.

You may not reply because your status is set to 'Away'.

And yet your profile picture changes intermittently -

A slideshow of the pictures you took for me -

They fade from one smiling photo of your face to another,

Pose after pose, showing them to him.

Wearing the clothes i bought for you.

Occasionally a friend will sign in.

As the alert pops up, the knot in my stomach tightens.

Until i realise it isn't you.

I gave away everything i had inside of me .

And now, knowing that i'm second best,

I continue to do it.

Continue to torture myself by

Making pointless futile gestures.

I'm just making a fucking prick out of myself.

I know i am.

But i don't know how to stop.

This has happened before,

So many times,

Minus the technology.

I don't know how to stop, and

I can't delete you.

That resonates with me as loudly as any bank of Glastonbury speakers can achieve. If it's about you, I hope you are not in the same boat now as when you wrote that piece, but fear you may be. Are you tortured? I truly hope not. As I indicated - I used to be. It went on for years and years. Driven by my own guilt. Eventually somebody came along and brushed it all away for me. I'd not have done it alone. It would have been with me for ever otherwise.

If it's a stand alone piece, drawn from your imagination alone then it's masterpiece.

[mr gumby]

I CAN'T DELETE YOU

You sit at the bottom of my computer screen.

An opened, but empty Messenger conversation.

I sit waiting.

Waiting for the alert, for your name to flash in orange.

Regularly i open the dialogue box.

You may not reply because your status is set to 'Away'.

And yet your profile picture changes intermittently -

A slideshow of the pictures you took for me -

They fade from one smiling photo of your face to another,

Pose after pose, showing them to him.

Wearing the clothes i bought for you.

Occasionally a friend will sign in.

As the alert pops up, the knot in my stomach tightens.

Until i realise it isn't you.

I gave away everything i had inside of me .

And now, knowing that i'm second best,

I continue to do it.

Continue to torture myself by

Making pointless futile gestures.

I'm just making a fucking prick out of myself.

I know i am.

But i don't know how to stop.

This has happened before,

So many times,

Minus the technology.

I don't know how to stop, and

I can't delete you.

Hey Woffy,

I've got to be honest, the Anal MOT one didn't really do anything for me, but this one is terrific! Keep it up!

G x

[Woffy]

Anal MOT!

That's the fucking cheery-uppest comment I've heard in ages!

Especially considering my boss unknowingly said 'bean flickers' instead of 'bean counters' in a serious meeting today!

Fuck ME, i nearly EXPLODED with mirth!!!

[Woffy]

That resonates with me as loudly as any bank of Glastonbury speakers can achieve. If it's about you, I hope you are not in the same boat now as when you wrote that piece, but fear you may be. Are you tortured? I truly hope not. As I indicated - I used to be. It went on for years and years. Driven by my own guilt. Eventually somebody came along and brushed it all away for me. I'd not have done it alone. It would have been with me for ever otherwise.

If it's a stand alone piece, drawn from your imagination alone then it's masterpiece.

Was then Yog. Not now. Mrs Woffy literally saved my life.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Was then Yog. Not now. Mrs Woffy literally saved my life.

Very happy to hear that Woffy. Same thing happened with Mrs Yog, in that she led me by the hand away from a life utter despair to one of happiness.

[Woffy]

Very happy to hear that Woffy. Same thing happened with Mrs Yog, in that she led me by the hand away from a life utter despair to one of happiness.

Most lovely post i've read on eFests i think, Yog

There's something 'ugh' and 'yeeeuch' and egotistical about writing 'pomes' and sticking 'em on a forum...but then there's the anonymity these places afford...despite having met most of the protagonists on here!!!! :)

So i'll stick one or two more on ('moron'! ha!) tonight and be an egotistical tit...then go to bed.

And i'll try and get the nuts up to at least send 3 to the Glasto thingy.

Nuffink to lose, innit!

[Woffy]

SHE HAS A LINE THROUGH HER

She has a line through her

A line of light
Like a beam
That’s so bright you
Can barely look at her
It makes her seem flat
Like an outline
That hasn’t been coloured in properly.

[mr gumby]

Anal MOT!

That's the fucking cheery-uppest comment I've heard in ages!

Especially considering my boss unknowingly said 'bean flickers' instead of 'bean counters' in a serious meeting today!

Fuck ME, i nearly EXPLODED with mirth!!!

Glad to be of *ahem!* service!

Got to love those bean flickers!

Seriously, though, you've got some real ability. I studied creative writing as part of my degree course, but always struggled with writing anything truly honest about myself. Too bound up in self-consciousness and my parents' middle class aspirations to open the floodgates, I guess. I also found reading my efforts out to others a challenge. I always assumed they would be met with derision, as they would have been by my secondary school English teacher (who was an asshole). Hope you keep going with it, whether just for yourself and friends, or for performing.