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Comfortably Numbs 2015 alcohol smuggling guide !

ramragon

By ramragon
in Kendal Calling

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ramragon Newbie

ramragon

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In honour of it beings numbtys favourite annual thread and where he seems to contribute the most ill start off this years banter

Oh yes. The return of one of my favourite threads. As a disclaimer I like to start off by saying that if the bars offered a wide range of beverages for a fair and competitive price then there would be no need.

To any stewards watching - we welcome the challenge :beach:

Theres plenty of new people on here so there must be a few new ideas to start the ball rolling, the capri sun screw tops filled with spirits went down a treat last year and were easy to carry about !

Again, its aimed as a bit of fun discussion and not a sign that anyone wants to smuggle crateloads in, hmmmmmm !

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grumpyhack Grand Master

grumpyhack

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I've never been to KC. Only ever been to one festival where you are not allowed to take in your own booze - IoW. Never again.

The sensible answer is to provide decent booze at sensible prices then people won't bother to try to smuggle.

Glastonbury lets you take in what you like. At my festival discovery of last year, Farmer Phil's near Shrewsbury, they were doing real ale and draught cider all at £3 a pint.

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Mr_Grump Explorer

Mr_Grump

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A couple of tubes of Pringles is great for getting spirits into the arena...just make sure they're in plastic containers and then cover them with some of the removed Pringles.

For wine, get some boxed wine & remove the pouch from inside - you can then secrete it somewhere on your body under your clothing.

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Comfy Bean Collaborator

Comfy Bean

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Not taken long for the Short arms long pockets thread has it !

You know my feelings spend money at the bar you tights gits!

Manchester needs your money!

Point taken Locheyethenoo but.... how much was it for a warm can of Sanny Miguel last year ? I`m going for £4.50 !!

As grumpyhack pointed out above, the biggest and fastest selling festival of all lets you take your own drinks in and it takes out the problem of the tanked up young team drinking all day in the camp site before landing in the arena at night. Let the bars compete for our business with a good range of drinks at " real " prices.

I do agree that the bars need to take money but get folk into the arena all day enjoying the tunes :) we all enjoy a nice cold one from the bar at some point.

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Comfy Bean Collaborator

Comfy Bean

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I'm sure security won't be suspicious if you've got a load of sun cream bottles in your bag

They would be less suspicious if you had a bag full of umbrellas. A Wickerman going friend of mine favors a bag full of " lady products ". Drinks hidden underneath. Stewards not too interested in rummaging about in the bag :ninja:

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Comfy Bean Collaborator

Comfy Bean

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Number one tactic will always be the wee plastic miniature smirnoff bottles that you can use time after time and fill up at the tent with your choice of poison. In the pockets and down the back of the wellies and a " mule " carrying an unopened bottle of coke. That shit even works at T in the park where they favor the full cavity search !

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bottonrob Newbie

bottonrob

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best one I say last year was a young ish girl whose friends appeared to basically pouring drinks out of her nipples. Of course I thought best to take a closer inspection and question the girl who confirmed she purpose bought a bra 2 cup sizes too big but then filled the space with the inner parts of two wine boxes. brilliant

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Comfy Bean Collaborator

Comfy Bean

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best one I say last year was a young ish girl whose friends appeared to basically pouring drinks out of her nipples. Of course I thought best to take a closer inspection and question the girl who confirmed she purpose bought a bra 2 cup sizes too big but then filled the space with the inner parts of two wine boxes. brilliant

:lol: I might try that this year.

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Comfy Bean Collaborator

Comfy Bean

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If your buying yourself a camping chair then always get one that comes with the nylon carry bag that you can sling over your shoulder. I`ve heard it said that you can easily squeeze a couple of cans in between the legs before you pop it back in the carry bag. Would imagine it would be almost impossible for anyone to see the cans in there plus wouldn`t make it too heavy for your kids to carry :ninja:

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Scargilla Newbie

Scargilla

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Well being a seasoned smuggler I've tried and failed many times, some of my more succesfull attempts are as follows :-

Placing cans down the back of my Wellingtons and then putting my loose fitting pants over them... worked a treat last year and managed 5 / 6 at a time though I appreciate this is a short stop gap for any festival drinker...

For the spirit side of things, given you can take bottles of sealed water and soft drinks in as long as there small... one of these each gets the party started....

A previous winner from last year for my mixed doubles, though it does require appropriate clothing....

http://www.firebox.com/product/1388/The-Beerbelly

And this years entry will be using the 8 year old as a drinks mule... a small back pack, and taunts to security staff of "have you worked for the bbc?" should get her through without any trouble.. she's currently in weight training for this year... (please note this is a joke and a report to child line is not required)

I must admit though despite the smuggling fun I always spend my fair share at the bars, in previous years the sailor jerrys trailer has built extensions on my contributions alone. Smuggling to me is part of the childish festival fun, more of a game then anything, and remember if you get caught that security are only doing there job.. be nice, go back or hand it over, then try again with a fake moustache.

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