Headliner predictions 2017

[Woffy]

They might as well just lay out one gifuckinourmous picnic blanket out that covers the whole Pyramid field. 

[Gucci Piggy]

1 minute ago, DeanoL said:

The suggestion is it's not all about size. Hell, I mean sure Leonard Cohen was bigger than The Verve but you don't have him headline. 

I accept with everyone else talked about the notion of someone with his status not headlining is weird.

But I don't find that any more or less weird than having a solo act with an acoustic guitar headlining the Pyramid - that's also never happened before and frankly I find equally weird. It'll be a weird situation either way.

I'm now wondering actually with the Green Day thing in that "leak" from the BBC. What if they do go with announcing four headliners: Radiohead, Foos, Green Day and Sheeran. Except Sheeran does 90 minutes in the "legends" slot on the Sunday afternoon. Easy to spin him as "our first contemporary legend". Give the guy headline status, and fee but put him on in a slot when, frankly, his music will work better.

But that's probably because there hasn't been a solo performer with an acoustic guitar who's been so massive and perfectly placed to headline before Ed Sheeran.

Why would Ed Sheeran take a slot in the afternoon knowing that 3 smaller acts will be playing after him that day and that 3 smaller acts are being allowed to headline the festival, in the dark, using a proper stage show, closing the main stages for the day? If they even suggested the idea to him or his management I imagine they'd laugh you out of the room and call up V Festival to take a headline slot there for millions of pounds instead.

Ed Sheeran is the most current, popular act that could be booked for Glasto 2017. He'll go down amazingly well at the festival and draw an insane crowd, millions will watch it on TV and love it and Glastonbury's stock will be raised amongst the TV watchers at home.

Green Day would be a terrible booking as a Pyramid headliner. They're incredibly irrelevant, would go down much worse than Sheeran, and as a booking it wouldn't set them apart from the likes of R&L.

The Eavii would have to be stupid to book them over Ed Sheeran.

In fact they'd have to be stupid to book almost anyone over Ed Sheeran this year.

And I think he's shite.

[dentalplan]

I do actually think they call it the 'Sunday teatime slot' whilst everyone else calls it the legends slot so it's more versatile and they could eventually have someone less legendary in it. But no, that's not happening - they're more likely to have Green Day play it.

Edited March 8, 2017 by dentalplan
and that's not happening either

[Woffy]

3 minutes ago, Will-2609 said:

But that's probably because there hasn't been a solo performer with an acoustic guitar who's been so massive and perfectly placed to headline before Ed Sheeran.

Why would Ed Sheeran take a slot in the afternoon knowing that 3 smaller acts will be playing after him that day and that 3 smaller acts are being allowed to headline the festival, in the dark, using a proper stage show, closing the main stages for the day? If they even suggested the idea to him or his management I imagine they'd laugh you out of the room and call up V Festival to take a headline slot there for millions of pounds instead.

Ed Sheeran is the most current, popular act that could be booked for Glasto 2017. He'll go down amazingly well at the festival and draw an insane crowd, millions will watch it on TV and love it and Glastonbury's stock will be raised amongst the TV watchers at home.

Green Day would be a terrible booking as a Pyramid headliner. They're incredibly irrelevant, would go down much worse than Sheeran, and as a booking it wouldn't set them apart from the likes of R&L.

The Eavii would have to be stupid to book them over Ed Sheeran.

In fact they'd have to be stupid to book almost anyone over Ed Sheeran this year.

And I think he's shite.

You totes heart him. You want him to pull your pigtails and run off as you giggle. 

[Matt42]

1 hour ago, Will-2609 said:

people are just plucking ideas out of nowhere because they don't want him to do it.

"Efestivals"

[Matt42]

Anyone who thinks it's anyone but sheeran at this point is probably lying to themsevles

if the biggest selling act right now was available and wanted to play your festival you'd book them. Ed is both of those things, and he's practically self confirmed anyway

[The life of Pablo]

Same happened with Adele last year. A few people saying she should headline during the day to suit her music. But she was amazing.
 

On a side note, I hate Ed Sheeran but he does deserve to headline. 

[Amy Lawn]

And he's going about how great this "Nina Simone" person is, and the wretched luddite seems to believe that Feeling Good was her own original composition (if you can believe such a thing).  Then I asks the fella if he's even heard of The Roar Of The Greasepaint The Smell Of The Crowd, and he just gives me this blank look; clearly not a bloody clue.

[ghostdancer1]

Ed Sheeran subbing.

Ed Sheeran playing the legends slot.

Depeche Mode being a bigger act.

 

jesus fucking christ this place

[DeanoL]

46 minutes ago, Will-2609 said:

Why would Ed Sheeran take a slot in the afternoon knowing that 3 smaller acts will be playing after him that day and that 3 smaller acts are being allowed to headline the festival, in the dark, using a proper stage show, closing the main stages for the day? If they even suggested the idea to him or his management I imagine they'd laugh you out of the room and call up V Festival to take a headline slot there for millions of pounds instead.

Ed Sheeran is the most current, popular act that could be booked for Glasto 2017. He'll go down amazingly well at the festival and draw an insane crowd, millions will watch it on TV and love it and Glastonbury's stock will be raised amongst the TV watchers at home.

Let's break that down: firstly, I am suggesting he headlines the festival. He'll be announced as a headliner and perform as a headliner. Regardless of where he plays. 

Dark, with a stage show? Sure, he might want that, in which case I'd totally agree with you. Depends on the sort of show he wants to put on. I can equally see him preferring the Sunday afternoon atmosphere.

I can see him wanting the Beyonce/Radiohead/Pulp slot yeah. I can also see him wanting the Dolly/Lionel/Ray Davies slot.

And the entire second paragraph applies again, regardless of when he plays. Indeed, he may even get a bigger crowd in the afternoon (overcrowding would be the one argument against this idea, to be honest). And even more will watch on TV if it's live on Sunday afternoon rather than late on a school night - TV wise that Sunday headliner slot sucks compared to the Friday and Saturday ones.

[arcade fireman]

I don't think Ed Sheeran is that bothered about TV audience. He will get plenty of TV audience on various things this summer. However there's a certain prestige to being a Glasto headliner and it is far more of an event than a Sunday afternoon slot, especially to the public outside Glasto.

And with iPlayer etc it doesn't really matter its Sunday on a school night. 

[dentalplan]

Wasn't it Sunday evening he played last time? So after three sold out Wembley shows and a massive new album (along with the prolonged success of the last one) he'd return with the prestige of playing an hour and a half earlier?

Edited March 8, 2017 by dentalplan

[DeanoL]

58 minutes ago, Will-2609 said:

But that's probably because there hasn't been a solo performer with an acoustic guitar who's been so massive and perfectly placed to headline before Ed Sheeran.

I'd argue that the reason for that is that when 99% of solo acoustic acts get big enough to be playing arenas they hire a band because it's hard to play a show of that size completely solo and put on something good, and makes it hard to get festival headline slots etc.

[Damy]

I seem to remember Mr Eavis saying in 2015 that the headliners for 2016 and 2017 were already booked with 4 that had already headlined and two that hadn't, so if Adele and the Foo Fighters are two acts that haven't headlined could we assume that the final headliner is someone that has already had the slot? 

 

[Gucci Piggy]

36 minutes ago, Damy said:

I seem to remember Mr Eavis saying in 2015 that the headliners for 2016 and 2017 were already booked with 4 that had already headlined and two that hadn't, so if Adele and the Foo Fighters are two acts that haven't headlined could we assume that the final headliner is someone that has already had the slot? 

 

He'll either have been chatting shit or classing the Foos as "returning" in the sense that they're returning to make up for 2015 (despite it not technically being a return). It's Ed Sheeran and anyone suggesting otherwise is mental.

[Gucci Piggy]

1 hour ago, DeanoL said:

Let's break that down: firstly, I am suggesting he headlines the festival. He'll be announced as a headliner and perform as a headliner. Regardless of where he plays. 

Dark, with a stage show? Sure, he might want that, in which case I'd totally agree with you. Depends on the sort of show he wants to put on. I can equally see him preferring the Sunday afternoon atmosphere.

I can see him wanting the Beyonce/Radiohead/Pulp slot yeah. I can also see him wanting the Dolly/Lionel/Ray Davies slot.

And the entire second paragraph applies again, regardless of when he plays. Indeed, he may even get a bigger crowd in the afternoon (overcrowding would be the one argument against this idea, to be honest). And even more will watch on TV if it's live on Sunday afternoon rather than late on a school night - TV wise that Sunday headliner slot sucks compared to the Friday and Saturday ones.

Well I have no idea why he would rather play in the middle of the day than at headline time, and the fact that no Glastonbury headliners have ever done so before probably backs that up.

It's just such an odd, insanely unlikely thing to believe would happen. He'll be announced as the final headliner and will play at night time when every other Glastonbury headliner plays, regardless of the fact he's a man playing an acoustic guitar, which means nothing anyway.

[DeanoL]

2 minutes ago, Will-2609 said:

It's just such an odd, insanely unlikely thing to believe would happen.

Yep. About as odd, insane and unlikely as Ed Sheeran headlining Glastonbury is...

[Divein]

I've not read the last few pages but anyone suggesting Ed Sheeran will not be closing that Pyramid Stage on Sunday night is absolutely crackers.

He'll have a big band with him and he'll get the biggest headline crowd of the weekend. 

[DeanoL]

Just now, Divein said:

He'll have a big band with him 

Will he though? If so I'll take back a lot of what I said, but he did the last arena tour on his todd and nothing has been said about him having a band for this one either.

(And the past two years, haven't the biggest crowds been for the legend slot anyway, above the headliners?)

[ghostdancer1]

we''ll see next week. he never had a band with him before the Brits a couple of weeks ago.

and no, I very much doubt ELO got a bigger crowd than Coldplay.

[Gucci Piggy]

7 minutes ago, DeanoL said:

Yep. About as odd, insane and unlikely as Ed Sheeran headlining Glastonbury is...

Well it's none of those things really, is it? Hence 99% of people on this thread accepting it was an inevitability from the start.

[Divein]

2 minutes ago, DeanoL said:

Will he though? If so I'll take back a lot of what I said, but he did the last arena tour on his todd and nothing has been said about him having a band for this one either.

(And the past two years, haven't the biggest crowds been for the legend slot anyway, above the headliners?)

I seem to recall him saying on radio 1 that he'd need a band to play some of the songs off this album.

also another point to back up Ed as a headliner, the festival would absolutely love to be seen to be promoting an act who started off playing BBC introducing/ coissaint neuf etc and then progressed to headline. 

[stuartbert two hats]

2 hours ago, DeanoL said:

The suggestion is it's not all about size. Hell, I mean sure Leonard Cohen was bigger than The Verve but you don't have him headline. 

I accept with everyone else talked about the notion of someone with his status not headlining is weird.

But I don't find that any more or less weird than having a solo act with an acoustic guitar headlining the Pyramid - that's also never happened before and frankly I find equally weird. It'll be a weird situation either way.

I'm now wondering actually with the Green Day thing in that "leak" from the BBC. What if they do go with announcing four headliners: Radiohead, Foos, Green Day and Sheeran. Except Sheeran does 90 minutes in the "legends" slot on the Sunday afternoon. Easy to spin him as "our first contemporary legend". Give the guy headline status, and fee but put him on in a slot when, frankly, his music will work better.

Deano, I frequently enjoy your reasonable, well argued coherent posts, but you appear to be tucking into your Glasto stash several months early. Other than Adele least year, I can't think of a time that Glastonbury has booked an act that is so humongously huge at the time they're playing as Ed Sheeran. 

Sure, size isn't the only factor, but when they're big enough to fill the top 20 almost exclusively with their songs, if they're on the bill, they headline. 

There is absolutely no chance he'll be billed as anything other than headliner. I'll place money on it. What odds would you like?

He's shit, obviously, but that doesn't matter.

Edited March 8, 2017 by stuartbert two hats

[thewayiam]

2 minutes ago, stuartbert two hats said:

Deano, I frequently enjoy your reasonable, well argued coherent posts, but you appear to be tucking into your Glasto stash several months early. Other than Adele least year, I can't think of a time that Glastonbury has booked an act that is so humongously huge at the time they're playing as Ed Sheeran. 

Sure, size isn't the only factor, but when they're big enough to fill the top with their songs, if they're on the bill, they headline. 

There is absolutely no chance he'll be billed as anything other than headliner. I'll place money on it. What odds would you like?

He's shit, obviously, but that doesn't matter.

Someone called me on placing money down the other week but me too, I'd put £100 quite comfortably that he'll headline.

Just to add in his worldwide status too, he's smashed USA sales records this year so far and the cut off tomorrow is likely to record a figure that won't be beaten in the 1st week or beat it to biggest album of the year. I have no doubts he'll clean up every award he's in for at the end like Adele did. Bookies were offering 50/1 for it to be the biggest selling album ever and I reckon it was worth a fiver.

[Rubber Soldier]

4 minutes ago, thewayiam said:

Someone called me on placing money down the other week but me too, I'd put £100 quite comfortably that he'll headline.

Just to add in his worldwide status too, he's smashed USA sales records this year so far and the cut off tomorrow is likely to record a figure that won't be beaten in the 1st week or beat it to biggest album of the year. I have no doubts he'll clean up every award he's in for at the end like Adele did. Bookies were offering 50/1 for it to be the biggest selling album ever and I reckon it was worth a fiver.

It absolutely will not be the biggest selling album of all time, that's insanity. Thriller sold 65m copies!