Overheard funnies

[MetaKate]

My favorite one came from a group of lads (aged 20-22) camped next to us. There was a couple of them sat outside their tent early one morning and one says to the other very solemnly  

"Have you ever thought about giving up smoking to stay alive for the people who love you?" 

 

[verrymerry]

It wasn't so much funny, but three girls walked past me and one of them said to her friends, "I knew it was big, I just didn't know it was THIS big!"  I think that probably sums up most of our first experiences of Glastonbury (unless you've been coming for 20/30 years!)

[nikkic]

49 minutes ago, MadScientist said:

Convo I overheard whilst packing up on Monday. Some pastor from Boston in US telling of how he came to glasto as it was his first. Said he had been travelling Europe and was staying in a vicarage in Glastonbury and the vicars were all going to Glastonbury and had a spare ticket which he went with so there was a group of local vicars and a travelling pastor all camped together on pennard hill. Haha

I don't suppose this travelling pastor mentioned he'd been living in the South of Spain recently had he? 

I went to a funeral there last year and it was conducted by a travelling pastor from Boston. We spoke for about 10 minutes about Glastonbury. If he took my advice and came it would be very funny! 

[MadScientist]

1 hour ago, nikkic said:

I don't suppose this travelling pastor mentioned he'd been living in the South of Spain recently had he? 

I went to a funeral there last year and it was conducted by a travelling pastor from Boston. We spoke for about 10 minutes about Glastonbury. If he took my advice and came it would be very funny! 

I'm not even joking i'm sure he said he did. Said he was somewhere else in europe and said he was going by that area of the country and someone recommended it to him which he then mentioned to the vicar he was staying with lol. 

[Jakeyboi135]

Just as foo fighters where finishing, a guy turned to his mate and said "i didnt realise Dave Grohl could play the drums" 

[Heather90]

22 minutes ago, MadScientist said:

I'm not even joking i'm sure he said he did. Said he was somewhere else in europe and said he was going by that area of the country and someone recommended it to him which he then mentioned to the vicar he was staying with lol. 

I want this to be a beautiful twist of fate so much.  

Either way im sure the pastor has a few stories to share on his return about how amazing people can be whether religious or not 

[MadScientist]

2 hours ago, Heather90 said:

I want this to be a beautiful twist of fate so much.  

Either way im sure the pastor has a few stories to share on his return about how amazing people can be whether religious or not 

I mean surely there can't be many Boston pastors travelling around Europe around the time of Glastonbury? It's got to be the guy.

I'm sure he does, it's given me a story to tell to people who haven't been as well on how Glastonbury truly is the festival for anyone and everyone. 

[RossTC]

On 6/28/2017 at 0:33 PM, pie_and_a_pint said:

I can't believe I've actually just Googled 'ainsley harriott leggings' but apparently they can be purchaesed here https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ainsley+harriott+leggings

That is superb look how many there are!!!

[liamium]

wifey, thoughtfully considering her chicken saag: you know what's odd?

matey: what?

wifey: if beef is cow, yeah?

matey: yeah?

wifey: and pork is pig..

matey: yeaaahh?

wifey: and lamb is sheep?

matey: YES?

wifey: then why isn't chicken from chicken?

matey: chicken is chicken

wifey: what?

matey: chicken IS from chicken

wifey: is it?

matey: whaddya mean is it?

wifey: no, like, i know chicken is from chicken but why is it chicken?

matey: what the fuck are you talking about?

wifey: it should be chicken is from like chork or chank. chamb?

matey: it would be the other way round wouldn't it? 

wifey: oh it doesn't matter

[Heather90]

https://noisey.vice.com/en_uk/article/7x9z4x/channel-4-jon-snow-at-glastonbury-2017-is-what-dreams-are-made-of 

Seems the news reader John Snow had a good one 

[Chazwozza]

1 hour ago, Heather90 said:

https://noisey.vice.com/en_uk/article/7x9z4x/channel-4-jon-snow-at-glastonbury-2017-is-what-dreams-are-made-of 

Seems  Jon Snow had a good one 

Better than being in the Northern Wastes I should imagine

[squirrelarmy]

On 6/26/2017 at 1:43 PM, tjamest said:

Passing the liquid bar in Silver Hays - "What's that? the 11 quid bar!"

That could have been us. We thought it said 1 quid bar at first as the sign was obscured. 

[tjamest]

53 minutes ago, squirrelarmy said:

That could have been us. We thought it said 1 quid bar at first as the sign was obscured. 

£1.00 a drink would have been nice

[theDBre]

''Fuck Will Griggs, Jeremy Corbyn is on fire now!''

[ohvienna]

"I went for a wee and I was wondering what the smell was, then I realised it was my dick"

[Slugworth]

I see two pastors, one in green and one in blue. I'm pretty sure it wasn't fancy dress. Wonder if they were a part of the group?

[Penrhos]

"I'm too stoned to shit" longdrops near greenfields.

[Quark]

10 minutes ago, Penrhos said:

"I'm too stoned to shit" longdrops near greenfields.

Lies. Shitting stoned while listening from a longdrop is one of Glastonbury's unique pleasures.

Edit - that's listening to someone on stage, not to other longdroppers. That would be odd.

Edited June 30, 2017 by Quark

[Woffy]

26 minutes ago, Quark said:

Lies. Shitting stoned while listening from a longdrop is one of Glastonbury's unique pleasures.

Edit - that's listening to someone on stage, not to other longdroppers. That would be odd.

Fuck offffffffffffff!!!

You WERE listening next door!

I KNEW IT!

[LifeBegins@What???]

Overheard at royal blood. we was standing on the right near the harris fencing when two americans turned up. they were there about 10/20 mins chatting to this other couple near us then the the man started talking to his partner saying something like they supposed to be on now.. so this is what me and my daughter hear :

american man : is this the john peel stage

man : no this is the pyramid

american man : are you sure

man : yes john peel stage over there (points over to right)

american man : o yeah now i look at it.. it do resemble a pyramid

my daughters look on her face was like wtf how can you not tell that is the pyramid stage.

[WS_Jack_III]

On 27/06/2017 at 10:40 AM, pie_and_a_pint said:

Also, a couple of Overseens:

These terrifying leggings on a young lady at Chic:

I was near her. Also thought they were terrifying.

[Homer]

On Sat morning about 9am, getting some brekkie near the Green Fields. Lots of shouting from a group, led mainly by a bloke dressed as some sort of 'warrior' with posing pouch, gladiator face mask and leather boot (other leg was prosthetic from the knee down). 

 

Assumed it was good natured and ignored. As half of them walked off, a girl with the gladiator guy shouted back 'he's a cripple and a retard and you want to have a fight with him?!' The gladiator guy seemed to be totally off his head from the night before and was gesticulating a lot too,

Not sure what was going on there.

[crocodiles]

On 6/23/2017 at 9:47 AM, airwaves said:

OK, here we go

Whilst stood at the milk and sugar table in the Tiny Tea Tent.

Girl points to bowl of dark brown sugar and asks server "Is that coconut nectar?"

WTF is coconut nectar?

Made me laugh btw wtf is coconut nectar 

[crocodiles]

On 6/26/2017 at 8:37 AM, nikkic said:

Shocker!

Really are we still on demonize the Scousers.  You must live somewhere without dodgy people 

[musky]

1 hour ago, crocodiles said:

Really are we still on demonize the Scousers.  You must live somewhere without dodgy people 

Kelvin McKenzie said it so it must be true.

I live in Westminster and I'd be happier to live in Liverpool than with some of the dodgy f*cks who work round here