Effects of inhaling 800 cartridges

[Quark]

1 hour ago, Superscally said:

I think I'm gonna have to go for b) but I'd keep a tight grip on it. No-one wants to explain that in casualty. 

Not again anyway

[Hugh Jass]

1 hour ago, gherkin8r said:

This is probably the most interesting thread thus far in August 

 

All we need now is bamber to turn up with a load of Jessie J videos.

[vintagelaureate]

20 minutes ago, Quark said:

Not again anyway

True tale: years ago I worked in an ambulance control centre. One of our crews had to go to a public toilet in a shopping centre to a man who had fallen, naked, legs akimbo onto a can of lynx Africa, which had gone sufficiently up enough to become wedged. 

Of all the unlucky landings.... ?

Edited August 21, 2019 by vintagelaureate

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

2 minutes ago, vintagelaureate said:

True tale: years ago I worked in an ambulance control centre. One of our crews had to go to a public toilet in a shopping centre to a man who had fallen, naked, legs akimbo onto a can of lynx Africa, which had gone sufficiently up enough to become wedged. 

Of all the unlucky landings.... ?

Lynx? How embarrassing.

[Hugh Jass]

6 minutes ago, vintagelaureate said:

True tale: years ago I worked in an ambulance control centre. One of our crews had to go to a public toilet in a shopping centre to a man who had fallen, naked, legs akimbo onto a can of lynx Africa, which had gone sufficiently up enough to become wedged. 

Of all the unlucky landings.... ?

I mean, we’ve all been there...

[Ayrshire Chris]

All that liberated oxygen and if someone sparks up a spliff you could have the first ever long drop in orbit. 

[Crazyfool01]

Lynx excite does the job for me ... I’m all OUT OF AFRICA 

Edited August 22, 2019 by crazyfool1

[Ayrshire Chris]

Just now, crazyfool1 said:

Lynx excite does the job for me 

And for Alan partridge and Dan the kitchen salesman 

[Jay89]

[Sawdusty surfer]

My bizzare dreams since returning from Boomtown had finally started to cease. They were always linked to what I watched/read online just before going to sleep.

Now I have this thread.

Goodnight.

[Crazyfool01]

13 hours ago, Sawdusty Surfer said:

My bizzare dreams since returning from Boomtown had finally started to cease. They were always linked to what I watched/read online just before going to sleep.

Now I have this thread.

Goodnight.

Just chill ... night  

 

 

a type of lynx for those that didn't know

Edited August 22, 2019 by crazyfool1

[stuartbert two hats]

It's officially the off season at efests when this is the most popular thread of the day.

[fatyeti24]

[Crazyfool01]

I think even for me a couple of posts are a bit obscure ... prizes awarded for anyone that gets them  

[mashedonmud]

Good morning e festers. That wasn't what I expected to read whilst having my morning coffee. On the plus side I'm off to work with a smile,  a little perplexed too. And a reinforced dislike of nos and an  irrational fear of lynx deodorant. ?

[Gnomicide]

11 hours ago, crazyfool1 said:

Lynx excite does the job for me ... I’m all out of Africa 

There's nothing that eight hundred cans of nos could ever do.

[vintagelaureate]

1 hour ago, Gnomicide said:

There's nothing that eight hundred cans of nos could ever do.

 

[gherkin8r]

3 hours ago, Gnomicide said:

There's nothing that eight hundred cans of nos could ever do.

A friend of mine once told me a story about a guy who lived with him in University halls in the late 90s. He was a little weird and would regularly disappear off to his room, turn the music up loud for a short time before re emerging from the room and sitting in the kitchen, quietly watching countdown or Jeremy Kyle or whatever. They had also noticed that he always had a particularly strong whiff of deodorant off him.

 

Anyway, this guy and his odd behaviour was a hot topic amongst his flat mates and one night when they had endukged in a few beverages and he ventured off to his room and the music came on they decided to investigate and one of them agreed that they would burst into his room. Upon doing so he revealed the horror of the afore mentioned weirdo naked and on all 4s on the bed, masturbating and simultaneously spraying a tin of lynx apollo up his arse. 

Don't knock it til you've tried it. I was more of a java man myself. 

[Crazyfool01]

7 minutes ago, gherkin8r said:

A friend of mine once told me a story about a guy who lived with him in University halls in the late 90s. He was a little weird and would regularly disappear off to his room, turn the music up loud for a short time before re emerging from the room and sitting in the kitchen, quietly watching countdown or Jeremy Kyle or whatever. They had also noticed that he always had a particularly strong whiff of deodorant off him.

 

Anyway, this guy and his odd behaviour was a hot topic amongst his flat mates and one night when they had endukged in a few beverages and he ventured off to his room and the music came on they decided to investigate and one of them agreed that they would burst into his room. Upon doing so he revealed the horror of the afore mentioned weirdo naked and on all 4s on the bed, masturbating and simultaneously spraying a tin of lynx apollo up his arse. 

Don't knock it til you've tried it. I was more of a java man myself. 

and they say blokes can't multitask !!  

[Hugh Jass]

20 minutes ago, gherkin8r said:

A friend of mine once told me a story about a guy who lived with him in University halls in the late 90s. He was a little weird and would regularly disappear off to his room, turn the music up loud for a short time before re emerging from the room and sitting in the kitchen, quietly watching countdown or Jeremy Kyle or whatever. They had also noticed that he always had a particularly strong whiff of deodorant off him.

 

Anyway, this guy and his odd behaviour was a hot topic amongst his flat mates and one night when they had endukged in a few beverages and he ventured off to his room and the music came on they decided to investigate and one of them agreed that they would burst into his room. Upon doing so he revealed the horror of the afore mentioned weirdo naked and on all 4s on the bed, masturbating and simultaneously spraying a tin of lynx apollo up his arse. 

Don't knock it til you've tried it. I was more of a java man myself. 

Was it only Apollo that worked for him? Did he experiment with other flavours?

[uscore]

Maybe he misunderstand a Spanish person telling him how to stuff a chicken. 

[Crazyfool01]

16 minutes ago, Hugh Jass said:

Was it only Apollo that worked for him? Did he experiment with other flavours?

he'd heard it put a rocket up him  

[Superscally]

17 hours ago, vintagelaureate said:

Maybe you do b) as a consequence of a)?

I've seen worse at Glasto

17 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

If it were limited to those two choices then I too would opt for the anal stretch. However, I want it to be known that the decision would be made, as it would be the best of two fairly poor options. If I wanted things up my arse then I'd probably have sorted it by now. That said, I have had an endoscope up there a number of times. If this ever happens to you, do not go for the gas and air as a pain killer. It is no way near as effective as it's medicinal alternative. I was sucking on that gas and air like my life depended on it. In the back of my mind was the feeling that it would have been less painful being buggered by a male porn star with a very big todger. That might be more information than you needed, but I'm still in a state of shock at being coated in human excrement. I feel quite sullied.

We're here for you. 

16 hours ago, faymondo said:

How about a NOS canister up your arse but sideways ?? 

That tip frightens me.

16 hours ago, BlueDaze said:

ARMEGEDDON......!

October 31st

16 hours ago, Quark said:

Not again anyway

I learnt the hard way 

[BlueDaze]

iwas considering a quite different ARMEGEDDON.!

 

[Superscally]

2 hours ago, BlueDaze said:

iwas considering a quite different ARMEGEDDON.!

 

?