Glasto is sh*t and I'm not paying my balance. Definitely not trying in October.

[dotdash79]

what I really want is to be searched going near a stage so I can't take my own booze whilst I watch the acts, and if I want a drink I need to buy one from a sponsored lounge.

Also we need a snus sponsor.

[clarkete]

11 hours ago, dotdash79 said:

what I really want is to be searched going near a stage so I can't take my own booze whilst I watch the acts, and if I want a drink I need to buy one from a sponsored lounge.

Also we need a snus sponsor.

I only went to V once, after fifteen to twenty years of Glasto, knew the rules said no booze, but in my slightly worse for wear state (well it was early afternoon) I couldn't quite compute the person going to the trouble of searching me...and finding a plastic bottle up each sleeve.  They even sent me back as I was too worse for wear (which I naively thought was the point).  Thankfully poured away bottles, next gate let me in.   Didn't return to V. 

[MEGABOWL]

23 hours ago, clarkete said:

I only went to V once, after fifteen to twenty years of Glasto, knew the rules said no booze, but in my slightly worse for wear state (well it was early afternoon) I couldn't quite compute the person going to the trouble of searching me...and finding a plastic bottle up each sleeve.  They even sent me back as I was too worse for wear (which I naively thought was the point).  Thankfully poured away bottles, next gate let me in.   Didn't return to V. 

I always took it as a challenge at festivals like that to smuggle in as much Vodka as I could. I still did it at TRNSMT last year even though I’m 47 and can afford to buy drinks from the bars. I just can’t be arsed queueing and, well it’s the principle of it.

[Ayrshire Chris]

Never mind the booze what about the ice cream. Time to ditch the sheep milk ice cream made from local sheep’s milk hand teased from the teats of a worthy farm sheep by a country maiden dressed in a gaily coloured frock. 
bring on the Magnums. 

[clarkete]

3 hours ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

Never mind the booze what about the ice cream. Time to ditch the sheep milk ice cream made from local sheep’s milk hand teased from the teats of a worthy farm sheep by a country maiden dressed in a gaily coloured frock. 
bring on the Magnums. 

From a big sponsored tent obviously, commerce is king after all 👍

[MEGATRONICMEATWAGON]

I'm personally devastated there's no Amazon Lockers next to the Pyramid to handily pick up my picnic blankets and chairs, no American Express queue jump for the Co-op, and nowhere I can sign up for the latest Google Pixel in the Green Fields. Not even a throne made out of Adidas shoes in Carhenge.

I mean, Christ, this is meant to be the primo-festival in the word isnitit?! 

 

Edited March 30 by MEGATRONICMEATWAGON

[Freewheelin2]

Not happy that See Tickets still say you can't add a weekly monorail pass to your fest ticket. Have to buy them from the cabin at the bottom of the escalators by Gate A. Apparently they're accepting Oyster cards this year!

[Neil]

1 hour ago, Freewheelin2 said:

Not happy that See Tickets still say you can't add a weekly monorail pass to your fest ticket. Have to buy them from the cabin at the bottom of the escalators by Gate A. Apparently they're accepting Oyster cards this year!

do you know if the monorail accepts bus-passes yet? with the attendees getting older they really should!

[guypjfreak]

Great reading this..

Lineup comes out

Everyone moans 😭🤣🤣..99% are right tho they place has gone to the dog's lol....yet still try April..

[Supernintendo Chalmers]

22 minutes ago, guypjfreak said:

Great reading this..

Lineup comes out

Everyone moans 😭🤣🤣..99% are right tho they place has gone to the dog's lol....yet still try April..

You do realise this is very much a tongue in cheek thread, Guy?

[faymondo]

I am not paying next week. Would much rather all the tickets are hidden in bars of Tony's chocolate.

[MrZigster]

Best thread for a while.

On 3/27/2024 at 8:44 PM, gigpusher said:

I also think the festival is crying out for a Maccie D’s, Burger King, Nando’s and Pizza Hut stand 

f**k yeah! Sod paying a tenner for a burger that is mostly salad. Or a tenner for A SLICE of basic pizza. And the slow infiltration of the woke vegerati everywhere. Oh and having to queue for half an hour and missing half a set for the privilege of spending said tenner.

On 3/28/2024 at 12:56 PM, Ayrshire Chris said:

Not bothering with tickets until they book more 1970s prog rock bands, ageing white blokes in their 70s with long thinning straggly grey hair playing Moog synthesisers, double neck guitars. Especially bands still gigging  where there’s only one original member left alive. Believe me there’s plenty of them around. 

Way better when it was just the place for the latest happening up and coming white boys with guitars. Why did it have to change and try to be all inclusive? Nobody's telling The Notting Hill Carnival that they have to book an OI! band for balance are they.

Edited March 31 by MrZigster

[kalifire]

It’s high time for ‘Pimms in the Pit’.

Charge for a pre-laid blanket, a glass of bubbly, and an onion confit tartlet. It’ll keep the riff-raff from getting in the way.

[Woody-Club UK]

Just concrete over the whole lot and be done with it.😆

[gigpusher]

2 hours ago, kalifire said:

It’s high time for ‘Pimms in the Pit’.

Charge for a pre-laid blanket, a glass of bubbly, and an onion confit tartlet. It’ll keep the riff-raff from getting in the way.

I do wonder if they could make the stage areas all seated and maybe you could order drinks and food from your seats and they could have waiting staff who could just bring everything to you. 

[Ayrshire Chris]

3 hours ago, kalifire said:

It’s high time for ‘Pimms in the Pit’.

Charge for a pre-laid blanket, a glass of bubbly, and an onion confit tartlet. It’ll keep the riff-raff from getting in the way.

We’re hospitality this year so that’s the minimum we are expecting once our helicopter has landed 

[irnkrtn]

8 hours ago, kalifire said:

It’s high time for ‘Pimms in the Pit’.

Charge for a pre-laid blanket, a glass of bubbly, and an onion confit tartlet. It’ll keep the riff-raff from getting in the way.

I heard Chris De Burgh is guesting with Daft Punk on the spider so I jolly hope this upgrade is available.

[Spindles]

Sack off the headliners, get The lighthouse family, Simply red and the spice girls in.  Job done.

[Ayrshire Chris]

Whilst this thread is steeped in irony and humour and is great fun as we wait for more announcements one does wonder if in amongst all the comments a few folk have taken the opportunity to make suggestions that up until now have resided in a very dark place in their subconscious. 😊😉

[MrZigster]

Their idea of the legend slot this year?

Cyndi Lauper > Avril Lavigne > Shanya* Twain.

Being Mutt Lange's ex missus and the production kudos that has I kind of get. But CL wrote True Colours, Time After Time and Girls Just Want To Have Fun. On her own. Without a legendary rock producer husbands help.

* pronunciation is correct.

 

 

[Ayrshire Chris]

Welcome to the April fool thread. As usual we’ve been ahead of the game. The Daily Mail lurkers can stand down. 

[Superscally]

On 3/30/2024 at 11:36 PM, faymondo said:

I am not paying next week. Would much rather all the tickets are hidden in bars of Tony's chocolate.

I'm actually down with this. 🤣

[Neil]

15 hours ago, irnkrtn said:

I heard Chris De Burgh is guesting with Daft Punk on the spider so I jolly hope this upgrade is available.

Chris rea is doing a supergroup with dire straits. What name arethey using for the grouping?

[Avalon_Fields]

Definitely don’t pay the balance today, all that money for someone you’ve never heard of before, someone you’ve heard far too much of, and someone who bastardised a pop classic….

[philipsteak]

1 hour ago, Neil said:

Chris rea is doing a supergroup with dire straits. What name arethey using for the grouping?

Chris Straits?

Rea Dire?