Primary School Bangers

[Quark]

The mention of primary school assemblies will forever take me back to a moment burned into my brain. This is genuinely true.

 

One of the headteacher's assemblies, wherein he regaled us with a story. An innocuous enough start that escalated fairly quickly. His tale revolved around the premise that, when God created the world, he made everyone black.  And that was that for a while.  Until God, for reasons best known to Himself or, I suspect, my crazed headmaster, decided that...well, there's no other way to explain this. He decided he wasn't that keen on the colour scheme.

 

So God told all the people of the world that He had created a lake where everyone could go and wash themselves white. Yep, you could go and wash the black off yourself. So all of the people rushed to the lake because, obviously, no-one wanted to be black. And all the people washed themselves white, except that they didn't. The people that got there first used up all the water.  Like the hot water tank in a house share.  And by the time the last people got there, there wasn't enough to wash themselves, so they had to stay black.

 

Ready for the strong finish to his story? Strap in.

 

Except that not quite all the water was gone.  There were little puddles here and there. But only enough to get the soles of your feet and the palms of your hands wet. You can see where he went with this, right? And yes kids, that is why black people had white palms and soles. Like Keisha over there. Look at her hands. LOOK AT THEM.

 

The 1980s, everybody.

[Mish1268]

5 minutes ago, Quark said:

The mention of primary school assemblies will forever take me back to a moment burned into my brain. This is genuinely true.

 

One of the headteacher's assemblies, wherein he regaled us with a story. An innocuous enough start that escalated fairly quickly. His tale revolved around the premise that, when God created the world, he made everyone black.  And that was that for a while.  Until God, for reasons best known to Himself or, I suspect, my crazed headmaster, decided that...well, there's no other way to explain this. He decided he wasn't that keen on the colour scheme.

 

So God told all the people of the world that He had created a lake where everyone could go and wash themselves white. Yep, you could go and wash the black off yourself. So all of the people rushed to the lake because, obviously, no-one wanted to be black. And all the people washed themselves white, except that they didn't. The people that got there first used up all the water.  Like the hot water tank in a house share.  And by the time the last people got there, there wasn't enough to wash themselves, so they had to stay black.

 

Ready for the strong finish to his story? Strap in.

 

Except that not quite all the water was gone.  There were little puddles here and there. But only enough to get the soles of your feet and the palms of your hands wet. You can see where he went with this, right? And yes kids, that is why black people had white palms and soles. Like Keisha over there. Look at her hands. LOOK AT THEM.

 

The 1980s, everybody.

Holy sh*t! No wonder you remembered it. 

[Quark]

Just now, Mish1268 said:

Holy sh*t! No wonder you remembered it. 

 

I've tried so hard to forget.

[MilkyJoe]

45 minutes ago, Quark said:

The mention of primary school assemblies will forever take me back to a moment burned into my brain. This is genuinely true.

 

One of the headteacher's assemblies, wherein he regaled us with a story. An innocuous enough start that escalated fairly quickly. His tale revolved around the premise that, when God created the world, he made everyone black.  And that was that for a while.  Until God, for reasons best known to Himself or, I suspect, my crazed headmaster, decided that...well, there's no other way to explain this. He decided he wasn't that keen on the colour scheme.

 

So God told all the people of the world that He had created a lake where everyone could go and wash themselves white. Yep, you could go and wash the black off yourself. So all of the people rushed to the lake because, obviously, no-one wanted to be black. And all the people washed themselves white, except that they didn't. The people that got there first used up all the water.  Like the hot water tank in a house share.  And by the time the last people got there, there wasn't enough to wash themselves, so they had to stay black.

 

Ready for the strong finish to his story? Strap in.

 

Except that not quite all the water was gone.  There were little puddles here and there. But only enough to get the soles of your feet and the palms of your hands wet. You can see where he went with this, right? And yes kids, that is why black people had white palms and soles. Like Keisha over there. Look at her hands. LOOK AT THEM.

 

The 1980s, everybody.

Ahh 80’s grown ups and their casual racism.

[gigpusher]

57 minutes ago, Quark said:

The mention of primary school assemblies will forever take me back to a moment burned into my brain. This is genuinely true.

 

One of the headteacher's assemblies, wherein he regaled us with a story. An innocuous enough start that escalated fairly quickly. His tale revolved around the premise that, when God created the world, he made everyone black.  And that was that for a while.  Until God, for reasons best known to Himself or, I suspect, my crazed headmaster, decided that...well, there's no other way to explain this. He decided he wasn't that keen on the colour scheme.

 

So God told all the people of the world that He had created a lake where everyone could go and wash themselves white. Yep, you could go and wash the black off yourself. So all of the people rushed to the lake because, obviously, no-one wanted to be black. And all the people washed themselves white, except that they didn't. The people that got there first used up all the water.  Like the hot water tank in a house share.  And by the time the last people got there, there wasn't enough to wash themselves, so they had to stay black.

 

Ready for the strong finish to his story? Strap in.

 

Except that not quite all the water was gone.  There were little puddles here and there. But only enough to get the soles of your feet and the palms of your hands wet. You can see where he went with this, right? And yes kids, that is why black people had white palms and soles. Like Keisha over there. Look at her hands. LOOK AT THEM.

 

The 1980s, everybody.

That’s wild and would rightly be a sackable offence today. 

[amfy]

3 hours ago, Quark said:

The mention of primary school assemblies will forever take me back to a moment burned into my brain. This is genuinely true.

 

One of the headteacher's assemblies, wherein he regaled us with a story. An innocuous enough start that escalated fairly quickly. His tale revolved around the premise that, when God created the world, he made everyone black.  And that was that for a while.  Until God, for reasons best known to Himself or, I suspect, my crazed headmaster, decided that...well, there's no other way to explain this. He decided he wasn't that keen on the colour scheme.

 

So God told all the people of the world that He had created a lake where everyone could go and wash themselves white. Yep, you could go and wash the black off yourself. So all of the people rushed to the lake because, obviously, no-one wanted to be black. And all the people washed themselves white, except that they didn't. The people that got there first used up all the water.  Like the hot water tank in a house share.  And by the time the last people got there, there wasn't enough to wash themselves, so they had to stay black.

 

Ready for the strong finish to his story? Strap in.

 

Except that not quite all the water was gone.  There were little puddles here and there. But only enough to get the soles of your feet and the palms of your hands wet. You can see where he went with this, right? And yes kids, that is why black people had white palms and soles. Like Keisha over there. Look at her hands. LOOK AT THEM.

 

The 1980s, everybody.

Is it OK to give this one of those little trophy things? I know an upvote definitely doesn’t feel right! 
 

Just wow!

I was at School in the 1970s and I don’t think even I ever experienced anything quite that….that…

[fred quimby]

4 hours ago, Quark said:

The mention of primary school assemblies will forever take me back to a moment burned into my brain. This is genuinely true.

 

One of the headteacher's assemblies, wherein he regaled us with a story. An innocuous enough start that escalated fairly quickly. His tale revolved around the premise that, when God created the world, he made everyone black.  And that was that for a while.  Until God, for reasons best known to Himself or, I suspect, my crazed headmaster, decided that...well, there's no other way to explain this. He decided he wasn't that keen on the colour scheme.

 

So God told all the people of the world that He had created a lake where everyone could go and wash themselves white. Yep, you could go and wash the black off yourself. So all of the people rushed to the lake because, obviously, no-one wanted to be black. And all the people washed themselves white, except that they didn't. The people that got there first used up all the water.  Like the hot water tank in a house share.  And by the time the last people got there, there wasn't enough to wash themselves, so they had to stay black.

 

Ready for the strong finish to his story? Strap in.

 

Except that not quite all the water was gone.  There were little puddles here and there. But only enough to get the soles of your feet and the palms of your hands wet. You can see where he went with this, right? And yes kids, that is why black people had white palms and soles. Like Keisha over there. Look at her hands. LOOK AT THEM.

 

The 1980s, everybody.

Wow. Just wow. 

[philipsteak]

13 hours ago, Quark said:

The mention of primary school assemblies will forever take me back to a moment burned into my brain. This is genuinely true.

 

One of the headteacher's assemblies, wherein he regaled us with a story. An innocuous enough start that escalated fairly quickly. His tale revolved around the premise that, when God created the world, he made everyone black.  And that was that for a while.  Until God, for reasons best known to Himself or, I suspect, my crazed headmaster, decided that...well, there's no other way to explain this. He decided he wasn't that keen on the colour scheme.

 

So God told all the people of the world that He had created a lake where everyone could go and wash themselves white. Yep, you could go and wash the black off yourself. So all of the people rushed to the lake because, obviously, no-one wanted to be black. And all the people washed themselves white, except that they didn't. The people that got there first used up all the water.  Like the hot water tank in a house share.  And by the time the last people got there, there wasn't enough to wash themselves, so they had to stay black.

 

Ready for the strong finish to his story? Strap in.

 

Except that not quite all the water was gone.  There were little puddles here and there. But only enough to get the soles of your feet and the palms of your hands wet. You can see where he went with this, right? And yes kids, that is why black people had white palms and soles. Like Keisha over there. Look at her hands. LOOK AT THEM.

 

The 1980s, everybody.

 

You say that but I think even in the 80s a lot of people would've been wondering what the f**k he thought he was doing

[fred quimby]

10 hours ago, philipsteak said:

 

You say that but I think even in the 80s a lot of people would've been wondering what the f**k he thought he was doing

Not where Quark used to live

[ilovelanegan]

On 7/16/2024 at 7:47 PM, MilkyJoe said:

Ahh 80’s grown ups and their casual racism.

 

Nothing casual about that particular anecdote.