Its ok to not be ok even at Glastonbury

[Respectfatfrog]

While not wanting to bring the party mood down I just wanted to drop a note and say if you start feeling down or overwhelmed dont be hard on yourself and reach out if you can. 

 

We build glasto up to be the biggest party of the year and it most likley will be but it can have moments that can overwhelm and take you out of your comfort zone. 

 

In past experiences I have felt lost, lonely and Silly for not enjoying it at the time, each time I was with a group. Turns out I have ADHD that may explian it. I have always come out of it and just wanted to let people know they arent on thier own and reach out. 

 

I dont think im the only one to feel this but apologies if I am.

 

Have a great time on the farm one and all. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Crazyfool01]

 

[Respectfatfrog]

2 minutes ago, Crazyfool01 said:

 

Great should mate 

[Crazyfool01]

Just now, Respectfatfrog said:

Great should mate 

I think we all big it up and at times which is perfectly normal it doesnt quite hit those high expectations , also influences of other things can play into that and actually we are in those fields for 5 days so at points the body and mind may also just feel a little tired at times ... we wont always be with mates or feel we might not want to bring others mood down . 

[faymondo]

If anybody needs a chat on Friday morning I will be on this.

 

[Leon_Anthony]

I can totally second this, last year was my first year at Glasto, it’s obviously such a great experience going to the farm and I was very much looking forward to it, months before, I was checking this forum, watching YouTube vids and even watched the film a few times, fully believing I was going to the greatest party on earth. 
 

I got there on the Wednesday and couldn’t comprehend the size and scale of it all, I instantly went into my shell, I found it all very overwhelming. The Thursday I managed to get up to the pier and find a deck chair to watch the world go by which helped a lot. 
 

I found the SE corner far too overwhelming and had to get out there very quickly. And I’m not saying this to put anybody off, I guess what I’m saying is it’s okay to take yourself away and digest it all. Also just because you’re not out til the early hours every night doesn’t mean you haven’t got the most out of Glasto. You enjoy it however you see fit. 
 

have fun! 
 

 

[Respectfatfrog]

4 minutes ago, Leon_Anthony said:

I can totally second this, last year was my first year at Glasto, it’s obviously such a great experience going to the farm and I was very much looking forward to it, months before, I was checking this forum, watching YouTube vids and even watched the film a few times, fully believing I was going to the greatest party on earth. 
 

I got there on the Wednesday and couldn’t comprehend the size and scale of it all, I instantly went into my shell, I found it all very overwhelming. The Thursday I managed to get up to the pier and find a deck chair to watch the world go by which helped a lot. 
 

I found the SE corner far too overwhelming and had to get out there very quickly. And I’m not saying this to put anybody off, I guess what I’m saying is it’s okay to take yourself away and digest it all. Also just because you’re not out til the early hours every night doesn’t mean you haven’t got the most out of Glasto. You enjoy it however you see fit. 
 

have fun! 
 

 

Thanks for sharing mate  I think its great to highlight no one is on thier own with this. 

[Lucy92]

Not making it to the farm this year (unless by some miracle) but I’m always here if anyone needs a ear to listen to them

[kalifire]

I’ll be doing it solo again and can relate to feeling a bit overwhelmed at times, especially as an introvert who spends most of my days by myself. 

 

If anyone would value a breather at the festival, maybe a pint with someone to talk to, drop me a direct message here. I’m happy to take some time out with you if it would help. 
 

Much love to everyone on the farm this year.

[Respectfatfrog]

22 minutes ago, kalifire said:

I’ll be doing it solo again and can relate to feeling a bit overwhelmed at times, especially as an introvert who spends most of my days by myself. 

 

If anyone would value a breather at the festival, maybe a pint with someone to talk to, drop me a direct message here. I’m happy to take some time out with you if it would help. 
 

Much love to everyone on the farm this year.

 

Same here until I collect my little boy on Saturday. 

 

Always happy to meet anyone for a chin wag and coffee 

[Aragorn]

1 hour ago, kalifire said:

I’ll be doing it solo again and can relate to feeling a bit overwhelmed at times, especially as an introvert who spends most of my days by myself. 

 

If anyone would value a breather at the festival, maybe a pint with someone to talk to, drop me a direct message here. I’m happy to take some time out with you if it would help. 
 

Much love to everyone on the farm this year.

You sound just like me :)

[Cooter]

I've been for many years, more often than not with my family and a close friends crowd, good times, great memories etc. But, there's been 2 or 3 times I've gone totally solo and one of those years I remember feeling incredibly lonely, isolated even, and so distant from everyone else. Its a strange feeling being lonely in a crowd, especially as I've always been so out there and confident, and especially amongst a festival crowd such as Glastonbury that has nothing but fun and good intent. Everyone around is happy and confident but you're having to try so hard to even get close to that level. That festival I probably looked like everyone else as I wandered past you, with a can in my hand walking with a sense of purpose, but inside I was battling just taking the next step going to nowhere in particular.

 

Happy to say this won't be me this year and hasn't been for many years but there will be people there that are going through stuff, like thick sticky mud stuff in their heads.

 

This festival, ask a wandering solo stranger how they are, compliment them on the way they look, wish them a good day.

 

It's great to know there's help and comfort onsite nowadays.

[clarkete]

4 hours ago, kalifire said:

I’ll be doing it solo again and can relate to feeling a bit overwhelmed at times, especially as an introvert who spends most of my days by myself. 

 

If anyone would value a breather at the festival, maybe a pint with someone to talk to, drop me a direct message here. I’m happy to take some time out with you if it would help. 
 

Much love to everyone on the farm this year.

 

Ooh now I want to know what you're going to see 😄 

 

[Parched]

Hi guys - I was wanting to get some advice from people who may have experienced or know people in a similar boat.

 

This will be my 6th Glastonbury, been going since 2011 but not since 2018, a lot has happened since then for me, a couple of kids, changes in lifestyle - mainly for the better, healthier living and eating etc. 

Last year I was on a packed train going to the London Marathon start line and I became suddenly really faint, I ended up being very close to hitting the deck until I managed to find space to sit on the floor and then get a chair. I'm not sure if it was a panic attack but I put it down as a one off until the exact same thing happened to me this year too.. anyway since then, I have been getting a slight sense of dread about crowds and every time I see the Glastonbury coverage my heart starts to shoot a bit.

 

It a strange one as I'm usually quite outgoing, attended numerous gigs and festivals, living and working in a busy city, pretty healthy etc. but I can't shake this negative voice in my head about what is going to happen to me and its really putting a damp squib on the anticipation! I really don't want to give in and have to linger at the back when what I love most is getting involved in the pit.

 

Long shot but anyone in a similar boat or some good coping mechanisms beyond the breathing, talk to someone etc. would be really appreciated 😀

[Grinding aftertaste]

I've had some bad anxiety on and off since lock down, leading to panic attacks when I feel like I can't easily get out of somewhere (e.g. in crowd, in a car, etc). I don't have much useful advice I'm afraid (but would recommend CBT as a longer term solution, you can get this free and fairly quickly on the NHS if you are happy to do it online), but I can at least say that I didn't have any episodes at the two Glastos I've been to since having symptoms. Not sure why that is, but the positive atmosphere helps I think, as does being slightly pickled for most of the weekend 🙃.

 

Good luck, look after yourself, and reach out if you need to.

[Parched]

13 minutes ago, Grinding aftertaste said:

I've had some bad anxiety on and off since lock down, leading to panic attacks when I feel like I can't easily get out of somewhere (e.g. in crowd, in a car, etc). I don't have much useful advice I'm afraid (but would recommend CBT as a longer term solution, you can get this free and fairly quickly on the NHS if you are happy to do it online), but I can at least say that I didn't have any episodes at the two Glastos I've been to since having symptoms. Not sure why that is, but the positive atmosphere helps I think, as does being slightly pickled for most of the weekend 🙃.

 

Good luck, look after yourself, and reach out if you need to.

 

Its a really vicious circle as I know I am physically fine but my mind can't shake the inevitable fear - CBT is a good shout and good for me to have a longer term strategy in the back of the head in case things do turn sour this weekend.

 

Anyway, thankyou for your words, it is reassuring that others are going through similar issues but obviously sorry for your experiences too.

 

 

[LinvoyPrimus]

14 hours ago, Respectfatfrog said:

In past experiences I have felt lost, lonely and Silly for not enjoying it at the time, each time I was with a group. Turns out I have ADHD that may explian it. I have always come out of it and just wanted to let people know they arent on thier own and reach out. 

This is also pretty pertinent for those of us who are with folks who might be struggling. Not everyone wants to be in the densest part of the crowd or in (or even near) a moshpit or anything like that. 

 

Look out for your partners/mates/mates' mates and don't assume they're comfortable in the same situations you might feel totally at home in.

[rwhitehouse13]

This thread is so important and even if it helps just one person it’s worth it.

 

i have been going for years and have done multiple festivals solo. However, one year I got there and after setting up had an overwhelming sense of dread and fear which came out if nowhere, it was pretty scary and at one point I thought I was going to have to pack up and just go home. Fortunately I was able to work through it and the rest of the festival was fine. At first though I beat myself up a bit for feeling so low when I was lucky enough to be at Glastonbury. I now realise that health and wellbeing is way more important. It really is OK to not be OK, even at the greatest festival in the world.

 

I hope everyone has a great festival, but if you do need help make sure you reach out. There are loads of people out there who will be happy to help. And, above all, be kind to yourself.

[Respectfatfrog]

Thanks to everyone responding and sharing I dont feel as silly now. 

 

Hopwfully this helps someone 

[QP123]

1 hour ago, Parched said:

Hi guys - I was wanting to get some advice from people who may have experienced or know people in a similar boat.

 

This will be my 6th Glastonbury, been going since 2011 but not since 2018, a lot has happened since then for me, a couple of kids, changes in lifestyle - mainly for the better, healthier living and eating etc. 

Last year I was on a packed train going to the London Marathon start line and I became suddenly really faint, I ended up being very close to hitting the deck until I managed to find space to sit on the floor and then get a chair. I'm not sure if it was a panic attack but I put it down as a one off until the exact same thing happened to me this year too.. anyway since then, I have been getting a slight sense of dread about crowds and every time I see the Glastonbury coverage my heart starts to shoot a bit.

 

It a strange one as I'm usually quite outgoing, attended numerous gigs and festivals, living and working in a busy city, pretty healthy etc. but I can't shake this negative voice in my head about what is going to happen to me and its really putting a damp squib on the anticipation! I really don't want to give in and have to linger at the back when what I love most is getting involved in the pit.

 

Long shot but anyone in a similar boat or some good coping mechanisms beyond the breathing, talk to someone etc. would be really appreciated 😀

 

Sounds like a little bit of agorophobia (i.e. fears of not being able to easily escape if something goes wrong) w/panic attacks. Obviously missing lots of context but just to say, if this is the case, you're very unlikely to actually faint. Fainting tends to be caused by a drop in blood pressure, but when you're really anxious, your blood pressure goes up. Just knowing this alone can help some people because they worry even more when they think they might faint (e.g. about what will happen if they faint around others). And although your mind might be telling you otherwise (e.g. I'm not safe, I'm dying, I need to escape etc), panic attacks aren't dangerous.

 

If you're feeling anxious when you arrive, maybe go easy on the drink and avoid caffeine/drugs. If you start having a panic attack, try breathing slowly and focus on non-threatening things around you (Google "grounding techniques"). Ideally you want your attention directed externally, rather than internally where all the negative thoughts are. There's some useful stuff here too: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/agoraphobia/treatment/

 

Most importantly though, don't let the anxiety keep you away from what you want to do at the festival. Anxiety feeds off avoidance. So try your best to not avoid crowds out of a fear of what might happen, because this will likely make things worse as you're basically telling yourself that there's a reason to be fearful. Maybe gradually work your way up to getting stuck into a mosh pit though!

 

Hope this helps and hope you have a great festival!

 

 

Edited June 24 by QP123

[philipsteak]

I'm not going this year for (physical) health reasons. It was a very last minute decision and I am absolutely gutted about it. But, there's also been a lot of stuff going on with me this year which has given my mental health a bit of a kicking. I'm pretty sure if I was still going that I'd one of the not OK people at some point.

Before I made the decision to drop out there was a part of me that was dreading going in a way because I knew it'd be a real struggle at times. I know some people talk about times when they've been low or had problems before Glastonbury and going gave them the boost they needed but I was worrying the opposite could happen to me and I'd spiral. And the fact I'd be working had the potential to make it worse.

Not sure what I'm trying to say, I certainly don't have advice or tips to share (I am NOT the person to be looking to for advice right now) but sometimes it's good just to get it out there. I'm not the best at sharing.

[drunk pumpkin]

14 hours ago, kalifire said:

I’ll be doing it solo again and can relate to feeling a bit overwhelmed at times, especially as an introvert who spends most of my days by myself. 

 

If anyone would value a breather at the festival, maybe a pint with someone to talk to, drop me a direct message here. I’m happy to take some time out with you if it would help. 
 

Much love to everyone on the farm this year.

Equally if you need a beer with someone feel free to DM me. 
 

there with one pal this year and to be fair my Glasto experience has become less frantic as the years have gone by. Always up for a sit and a beer with interesting people as yourself!

[DeanoL]

One thing worth saying, for those like me who absolutely don't want a nice friendly chat with a stranger when we get stuck in our own heads: it's fine to just go back to your tent/campsite and have a lie down for an hour. Read a book. Play on your phone. You absolutely do not have to be "up" the entire festival. It's not "missing out" if you take a few hours out of the day away from it all. It's helping you to be in the right mindset to enjoy the rest of it. 

[CR77]

3 minutes ago, DeanoL said:

One thing worth saying, for those like me who absolutely don't want a nice friendly chat with a stranger when we get stuck in our own heads: it's fine to just go back to your tent/campsite and have a lie down for an hour. Read a book. Play on your phone. You absolutely do not have to be "up" the entire festival. It's not "missing out" if you take a few hours out of the day away from it all. It's helping you to be in the right mindset to enjoy the rest of it. 

 

I'm doing Glasto on my own as usual, and love it that way.  I do feel a bit self-conscious sitting on my own for too long though, so if I'm at a loose end I often pop into the Circus tent or walk around the woods or Glasto-on-Sea etc - highly recommend Circus tent to everyone in fact to kill some time!

[Parched]

3 hours ago, QP123 said:

 

Sounds like a little bit of agorophobia (i.e. fears of not being able to easily escape if something goes wrong) w/panic attacks. Obviously missing lots of context but just to say, if this is the case, you're very unlikely to actually faint. Fainting tends to be caused by a drop in blood pressure, but when you're really anxious, your blood pressure goes up. Just knowing this alone can help some people because they worry even more when they think they might faint (e.g. about what will happen if they faint around others). And although your mind might be telling you otherwise (e.g. I'm not safe, I'm dying, I need to escape etc), panic attacks aren't dangerous.

 

If you're feeling anxious when you arrive, maybe go easy on the drink and avoid caffeine/drugs. If you start having a panic attack, try breathing slowly and focus on non-threatening things around you (Google "grounding techniques"). Ideally you want your attention directed externally, rather than internally where all the negative thoughts are. There's some useful stuff here too: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/agoraphobia/treatment/

 

Most importantly though, don't let the anxiety keep you away from what you want to do at the festival. Anxiety feeds off avoidance. So try your best to not avoid crowds out of a fear of what might happen, because this will likely make things worse as you're basically telling yourself that there's a reason to be fearful. Maybe gradually work your way up to getting stuck into a mosh pit though!

 

Hope this helps and hope you have a great festival!

 

 

Thanks that's really helpful. Got two days to build myself up to the Fontaines mosh!!