Glasto 24 overheard/funnies

[waltere]

Girl in the crowd about 10 mins before Justice started "I really feel like a big bag of cells and stuff you know"

 

Saw a guy near the toilets at the back of the Other field after The Streets toss a coin and then with a resigned look on his face do a huge key of what looked like ket

[baggie92]

2 girls near me when Damon came on with Bombay Bicycle Club, the one was trying to explain who he was to the other.

 

"He sung that song Parklife...." 

 

"Never heard of it".

[Talcroft]

Girl to her mates when Romy and Oliver joined Jamie XX onstage:

"Who're they?" 

Mates: "The XX" 

Girl: "No those other two" 

Mates: "Yeh... The XX" 

Girl, increasingly frustrated: "yes I know who Jamie XX is but I'm asking who those other two are."

One mate takes the lead: "It's the XX - the band he started in, that's them."

Girl: "no, he's a DJ, you're just making this up now to wind me up." 

[Beerqueen]

When Shania Twain asked what we were doing in 1997, my 28 year old daughter turned to me and said, "probably sucking on your boob".

[kagey]

3 hours ago, Talcroft said:

Girl to her mates when Romy and Oliver joined Jamie XX onstage:

"Who're they?" 

Mates: "The XX" 

Girl: "No those other two" 

Mates: "Yeh... The XX" 

Girl, increasingly frustrated: "yes I know who Jamie XX is but I'm asking who those other two are."

One mate takes the lead: "It's the XX - the band he started in, that's them."

Girl: "no, he's a DJ, you're just making this up now to wind me up." 

https://youtu.be/Mdqv5xIsFLM?si=6GZGpjBsTwcp2rxy

[Talcroft]

9 hours ago, kagey said:

https://youtu.be/Mdqv5xIsFLM?si=6GZGpjBsTwcp2rxy

 

 Excellent

[paulshane]

walking from East camper to gate C on saturday evening.

 

Guy in front of me on his phone but not speaking

 

About a minute passes

 

He then says 'the drugs are working'

 

then puts his phone away.

[cheesey_toastie]

Walking away from the Other as James were about to start...

"So this 'James' is it just the one bloke or a band like?"

[eatingglitter]

Guy 1: …and that’s when I decided I had a real passion for pinball. 
Guy 2: mate, I’m so glad you found your true love. It must be amazing to have that level of passion for pinball

 

and

 

guy 1: how many steps have you done today?

guy 2: do I look like I give a f**k?!!

[mufcok]

I can only assume there was an Eminem rumour cause walking upto Woodsies I heard:

 

'Going from Eminem to Kasabian is like going from Beyonce to Emma Bunton'

[The Nal]

Some bloke at Heilung as they were using human arm bones as drumsticks: "How the f**k are we supposed to go to Dua Lipa after this?"

[km9]

Just outside the tent at woodsies, a girl was asking her mates who were going to be playing. They told her at least twice it was kasabian, then she turned and asked me, to which I replied "kasabian". She then asked "is that with an N?" All I could say in response was, are you OK?

[Spindles]

In a queue for food, woman in front of me is joined by her mate who annouces "I've literally just sh*t in a sink"

[ourkid1984]

Wearing a Southampton FC shirt someone raised their fist to me and said "come on you blades", I said, "it's a saints shirt", he argued with me about that fact so I showed him the badge and said, "look, Southampton FC", he responded by saying, "you can't cut butter with that blade you just stabbed me with."

[efcfanwirral]

The most obvious joke in the world but cracked me up anyway, the lifeguards outside the pier as thousands were swarming past "we're here for Barry, we heard he can't swim". It was in the delivery and the fact they were there the whole time anyway making announcements "for your safety" 

Edited July 3 by efcfanwirral

[dreadwing]

When the fireworks finished on Wednesday, a couple behind me commented:

"So that's where all the ticket money went."

"Well, they certainly didn't spend it on the lineup, did they?"

I'm still laughing now.

[germanmon]

Two lads leaving the site early hours of Monday walking near the top of Muddy Lane:

 

"Wow...do you ever think about the organisation this place must need to do all this..."

"Yeah, it's huge isn't it?"

"I mean, it must take an army to keep it all going."

"Nah, no way mate. The Army wouldn't be able to handle this." 

 

Silence then ensued. Good to know it's Emily we should be relying on in future rather than the British Army if Putin kicks off...

[WS_Jack_III]

53 minutes ago, germanmon said:

Two lads leaving the site early hours of Monday walking near the top of Muddy Lane:

 

"Wow...do you ever think about the organisation this place must need to do all this..."

"Yeah, it's huge isn't it?"

"I mean, it must take an army to keep it all going."

"Nah, no way mate. The Army wouldn't be able to handle this." 

 

Silence then ensued. Good to know it's Emily we should be relying on in future rather than the British Army if Putin kicks off...

Sounds like a conversation between Jez and Super Hans.

[Jay Pee]

Not an overheard but very funny conversation:

 

I had an absolute howl with a couple in the Tow and Hitch bar.  I was offering a THC Vape and we were discussing the merits of them but also the strength and how easy it is to go from giddy to muntered.

He explained how he had a rep for having a strong constitution and how a mate of theirs made some THC gummies and advised him to take a small bite of one and not the whole gummy.  This was a few months ago and needless to say, he scoffed the whole thing and couldn't get out of his chair or even answer simple questions like "alright mate?".  said he felt like he had been hit with a tranquilizer dart.

Then she turned to me and said "what he hasn't mentioned yet is this was at our wedding".  I was howling for ten minutes.

[Crazyfool01]

So a bit of a story … in lonely hearts one night this girl approaches me and says she knew me from Efest but she was absolutely hammered and self professed she was mashed , she then hit the deck and when she got up staggered into the dark . Some girls nearby then started waving her shoe about and looking for her … I told them I’d try and contact her and put the shoe in my bag . Bumped into her at the end of the set and she had both shoes on and I’d been carrying a random persons shoe around for the set ffs . No cinderella story sadly 😂.... if you are reading and have any recollection of this feel free to say hi 🙂 

[Dreamingofsunnydays]

2 hours ago, Crazyfool01 said:

So a bit of a story … in lonely hearts one night this girl approaches me and says she knew me from Efest but she was absolutely hammered and self professed she was mashed , she then hit the deck and when she got up staggered into the dark . Some girls nearby then started waving her shoe about and looking for her … I told them I’d try and contact her and put the shoe in my bag . Bumped into her at the end of the set and she had both shoes on and I’d been carrying a random persons shoe around for the set ffs . No cinderella story sadly 😂.... if you are reading and have any recollection of this feel free to say hi 🙂 

I’m still waiting for the hack of not being put in a rubbish parking space. You left us hanging as @Sawdusty surfer needed you 😂

[Gnomicide]

Thanks Bill.

[Ayrshire Chris]

Waiting to see Dexys and we got talking to three girls standing next to us. Being old, they started asking us all about past experiences,what it used to be like etc etc. mentioned it was our 48th wedding anniversary and they were amazed. One of them FaceTimed their mum and we ended up chatting to her! Mum was relieved to see her daughter was ok and Mrs C seemed to allay any worries she had. Told the girls what we always tell the youngsters, to keep safe, enjoy themselves and have a wonderful life.
Just another one of those Glasto moments for us. Ok not a funny but a nice moment for us. 

Edited July 18 by Ayrshire Chris

[fred quimby]

1 hour ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

Waiting to see Dexys and we got talking to three girls standing next to us. Being old, they started asking us all about past experiences,what it used to be like etc etc. mentioned it was our 48th wedding anniversary and they were amazed. One of them FaceTimed their mum and we ended up chatting to her! Mum was relieved to see her daughter was ok and Mrs C seemed to allay any worries she had. Told the girls what we always tell the youngsters, to keep safe, enjoy themselves and have a wonderful life.
Just another one of those Glasto moments for us. Ok not a funny but a nice moment for us. 

Once the call was over you shared a couple of keys and sold em a few pills right?

 

😉

Edited July 18 by fred quimby

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

On 7/2/2024 at 3:26 PM, Spindles said:

In a queue for food, woman in front of me is joined by her mate who announces "I've literally just sh*t in a sink"

 

f**king hell - what an animal. Maybe she's called Shih Tzu! after that.

 

OK, ok, I'll get me coat for that one.*

 

* -- I once opened the door of a portaloo at the Nozstock Festival** one year and inside was a young lady on her knees snorting a line of the toilet seat. She evidently was in a rush to do a line and forgot to lock the door. i can't actually really properly explain in words how I felt when I opened that door and saw that sight. Half of me was appalled, and another bit of me was telling me thtat I was evidently an amature in such matters.

 

** - It's the last Nostock this year