Attending gigs solo

[efcfanwirral]

I couldn't really find a proper topic for this one, but thought it was interesting and could be a good discussion. This came up on my timeline, apparently was from a Last Dinner Party gig:

 

https://x.com/alittlebitdan/status/1840104567469383897?t=aCXmk6tUh2DLFDL-aK8ThA&s=19

 

Screenshot attached too. What do we all think of this? 

 

 

[CharlotteB]

Wow, that's harsh. Me and my other half have a child, so we sometimes take turns going out to gigs and stuff on our own (because we don't have friends, apparently). It'd be awful if something like that happened to him. I mean, can someone be detained like that for no reason? Horrible if true.

[Gnomicide]

That's just nuts. Have the band had some issues with audience members that has brought this on?

[CaledonianGonzo]

10 minutes ago, Gnomicide said:

That's just nuts. Have the band had some issues with audience members that has brought this on?

 

Got to assume there's maybe a stalker or something 

[efcfanwirral]

11 minutes ago, Gnomicide said:

That's just nuts. Have the band had some issues with audience members that has brought this on?

 

Just now, CaledonianGonzo said:

 

Got to assume there's maybe a stalker or something 

My assumption is that its down to their audience being predominantly female, they must've said men make them feel uneasy. I guess their gigs need to be even more of a "safe space" than some others so its probably just being over cautious to protect their core audience. 

[Looother]

I had a ticket to a TLDP performance and signing at Rough Trade East a while ago, and in the end decided not to go because  I was aware of their fanbase and thought it might have been weird for a late-40s bloke to turn up, particularly given the size of the venue. My daughter went instead, and fitted in a lot better than I would have done.

 

But you've got to make this kind of stuff clear in advance. TLDP have a lot of young female fans and I appreciate they have to make their concerts safe spaces for them, but if doing so means making the concerts hostile environments for men - which might be the best option, I've absolutely no idea - men need to be told about it before they buy tickets and turn up to be made to feel unwelcome and creepy.

[Gnomicide]

I'd have thought they have always had quite a high proportion of older blokes at their gigs, with them being 6 Music faves.

[efcfanwirral]

8 minutes ago, Looother said:

I had a ticket to a TLDP performance and signing at Rough Trade East a while ago, and in the end decided not to go because  I was aware of their fanbase and thought it might have been weird for a late-40s bloke to turn up, particularly given the size of the venue. My daughter went instead, and fitted in a lot better than I would have done.

 

But you've got to make this kind of stuff clear in advance. TLDP have a lot of young female fans and I appreciate they have to make their concerts safe spaces for them, but if doing so means making the concerts hostile environments for men - which might be the best option, I've absolutely no idea - men need to be told about it before they buy tickets and turn up to be made to feel unwelcome and creepy.

I think it does work both ways. I'd like to see them own it, instead of asking venues to screen people. Their music is about feminist empowerment so it wouldn't be unreasonable to say "until men can behave, no lone men or groups of men will be allowed into our gigs". 

 

Equally, I think people need the sort of judgement and awareness you have. I'm considering not going to see Pale Waves at Neighbourhood next weekend, even though I'll be with my girlfriend, because I frankly know I'm not wanted there, and can't be doing with this attitude of "you can't stand there" etc that comes with gigs like that. 

 

On that note, I think Neighbourhood will regret putting Corella, a lad band, on before Pale Waves!!

[Nestacres]

Tbf a quick look at his Twitter page, its full of semi naked selfies and pictures in his underpants so I'm not that surprised (that's if this happened at all or isn't a fake page)..

[justanotheronethen]

What were they looking for when they searched "Dan"?

[Chapple12345]

I was at their in Norwich on Friday, there was a wide range of ages in attendance and there was no apparent signs of men being pulled over/checked on arrival, I can't seem to see it happening anywhere else on the tour either 

 

Edited September 29 by Chapple12345

[Lubic]

As a regular solo gig goer, if this happened to me I would turn around and leave - the band/venue wouldn’t get any more money from me. Completely unacceptable and degrading. 

[Alex DeLarge]

I went to see The Last Dinner Party in Sheffield a few days ago. I am in my 20s, and was on my own edit: and I'm a tall, masculine presenting male.

As far as I could see - there were loads of teenage/ student girls, but also a bunch of aforementioned 6music dads. There wasn't any screening or really much of a visible security presence outside what's normal and expected. I wonder if something happened at one of their concerts in the past week that led to this. 

Edited September 29 by Alex DeLarge

[Superscally]

2 hours ago, efcfanwirral said:

I think it does work both ways. I'd like to see them own it, instead of asking venues to screen people. Their music is about feminist empowerment so it wouldn't be unreasonable to say "until men can behave, no lone men or groups of men will be allowed into our gigs". 

 

Equally, I think people need the sort of judgement and awareness you have. I'm considering not going to see Pale Waves at Neighbourhood next weekend, even though I'll be with my girlfriend, because I frankly know I'm not wanted there, and can't be doing with this attitude of "you can't stand there" etc that comes with gigs like that. 

 

On that note, I think Neighbourhood will regret putting Corella, a lad band, on before Pale Waves!!

Of course it's unreasonable to say "until men can behave". Ridiculous. 

[Superscally]

2 hours ago, Nestacres said:

Tbf a quick look at his Twitter page, its full of semi naked selfies and pictures in his underpants so I'm not that surprised (that's if this happened at all or isn't a fake page)..

Apart from the fact that venue have apologised because they know it happened...

[efcfanwirral]

13 minutes ago, Superscally said:

Of course it's unreasonable to say "until men can behave". Ridiculous. 

It wouldn't be ridiculous to their target audience though, that sort of language is completely common for a lot of people. And that's ultimately where their money will come from in the future

[efcfanwirral]

24 minutes ago, Alex DeLarge said:

I went to see The Last Dinner Party in Sheffield a few days ago. I am in my 20s, and was on my own edit: and I'm a tall, masculine presenting male.

As far as I could see - there were loads of teenage/ student girls, but also a bunch of aforementioned 6music dads. There wasn't any screening or really much of a visible security presence outside what's normal and expected. I wonder if something happened at one of their concerts in the past week that led to this. 

It must've done if it wasn't for every show 

[Ben7amin_]

Write up from NME https://www.nme.com/news/music/lincoln-engine-shed-issue-statement-following-security-incidents-at-the-last-dinner-party-gig-3798056

[Alex DeLarge]

My best guess is this:

 

Creepy men have been inappropriate with the (very young) female audience members at TLDP shows in the past few weeks.

TLDP/ management have had a word with security - saying to keep an eye on men, particularly if they're older and on their own. Maybe to even question men who look shady about whether they like the band, to name records etc.

Overzealous and undertrained staff have taken this way too far and grouped together a bunch of men on their own and dealt with it in the least appropriate, least subtle way they could.

 

edit: I've just read the NME article/ venue statement - yeah I'm pretty sure this is what's happened. "after information was provided to our security team about incidents at previous The Last Dinner Party gigs, the venue management team made an ad-hoc change to our policy" - TLDP management contacted them but then security have gone way overboard. It's not necessarily a bad idea in theory but has been handled terribly.  

 

Having a security guard smile and say "you excited to go in mate? What songs do you want to hear?" to make it sound like chit-chat was probably the intention, but something got cocked up along the way.

Edited September 29 by Alex DeLarge

[danmarks]

If it is people buying tickets to a sell out show to be totally inappropriate with the audience- seems a lot of work. If its people (men) who were going anyway then get pissed or whatever then feel they can do whatever they want then this was doomed to fail anyway. 

And yes to a good idea in theory but what stops some other gig changing paramaters of who should be let in 

[Superscally]

11 hours ago, efcfanwirral said:

It wouldn't be ridiculous to their target audience though, that sort of language is completely common for a lot of people. And that's ultimately where their money will come from in the future

Now I get ya...it would still be a twattish thing for them to say though. They could just say something in each gig about reporting sleaze bags and that security have been briefed andnare ready to kick the sh*t out of anyone who gets pointed out...

[Gejonimo]

15 hours ago, efcfanwirral said:

I think it does work both ways. I'd like to see them own it, instead of asking venues to screen people. Their music is about feminist empowerment so it wouldn't be unreasonable to say "until men can behave, no lone men or groups of men will be allowed into our gigs". 

 

Equally, I think people need the sort of judgement and awareness you have. I'm considering not going to see Pale Waves at Neighbourhood next weekend, even though I'll be with my girlfriend, because I frankly know I'm not wanted there, and can't be doing with this attitude of "you can't stand there" etc that comes with gigs like that. 

 

On that note, I think Neighbourhood will regret putting Corella, a lad band, on before Pale Waves!!

Weirdly, one of the two bands I've seen alone was Pale Waves at Academy 1 in Manc around 2019. No issues whatsoever and had a great time. I don't even see Pale Waves as a particularly womanly/feminist band. Just cause their singer is female doesn't mean all their fans are. 

[Mardy]

Ah, boohoohoo, Dan feels a little bit uncomfortable at a TLDP gig. Tough f**king sh*t. All of female friends feel really uncomfortable in a whole variety of settings, pubs, clubs, gigs etc if they're on their own, or even if they're with their friends. I give precisely zero f**ks about WhitemiddleagedprivilegedDanfromTwitter's slightly bruised feelings. Grow the f**k up you whining little maggot, and think about the context around you. Women's safety is way more important than you getting asked a couple of questions. 

[Mardy]

Also, I'm absolutely willing to bet that those pricks whining on twitter are exactly the same type of 6 Music Dad who would buttonhole a teenage girl wearing a Ramones t-shirt and demand that they name three songs by the band.

[sadimmock]

1 minute ago, Mardy said:

Also, I'm absolutely willing to bet that those pricks whining on twitter are exactly the same type of 6 Music Dad who would buttonhole a teenage girl wearing a Ramones t-shirt and demand that they name three songs by the band.

A generalisation perhaps? You often argue strongly that older people are overly obsessed with watching older bands; often to the point of distain. Are you now saying that they now feel unwelcome at gigs by younger acts? Which is it?