Attending gigs solo

[Ben7amin_]

I think perhaps if the venue has had problems with guys date raping girls -  Its not massively an inconvenience for me to undergo a little search on entry.  Happy to do so if its in the name of making gigs safer.  Id rather be searched for no reason than them not search a potential rapist for the reasons of upsetting people who did not need to be searched. 

 

However Its a bit weird getting questioned about knowledge of the band and thats a bit silly.   I mean would security know if i offered up a load of made up song titles. Is. knowlege of the band a pre-requisite to seeing them - im not sure it is. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Ben7amin_

[Mardy]

Some of the replies here are illuminating...

 

 

[sadimmock]

9 minutes ago, Mardy said:

 

Actually, I think I'd argue that both young and old people are far too obsessed with watching aging bands. But that's a totally different situation.

 

I think men need to understand how their presence can make women feel uncomfortable at gigs, and understand that being asked a couple of questions as you enter a gig is a small price to pay for women feeling safer attending events on their own.

Apologies. I snapped at you there, which you probably didn’t deserve. I don’t think that anyone would object to the bouncers asking a few questions. That is no different to what happens every week outside clubs and pubs. It just seems that this went significantly beyond that. 
 

Either way someone needs to make a statement now. Either:

 

a) “we had significant concerns about the safety of our younger female fans. Therefore we had to take this action. Apologies if you were offended/upset but that is how is going to have to b for on now on”

 

or

 

b) “we asked the bouncers to be a bit more vigilant and they took it a bit too far. Sorry”

 

Edited 2 hours ago by sadimmock

[Ben7amin_]

4 minutes ago, Mardy said:

Some of the replies here are illuminating...

 

 

The question should aways be met - wtih what do I get if I do -   and id recommend starting at minimum a tenner

 

[scatteredscreens]

5 minutes ago, sadimmock said:

Apologies. I snapped at you there, which you probably didn’t deserve. I don’t think that anyone would object to the bouncers asking a few questions. That is no different to what happens every week outside clubs and pubs. It just seems that this went significantly beyond that. 
 

Either way someone needs to make a statement now. Either:

 

a) “we had significant concerns about the safety of our younger female fans. Therefore we had to take this action. Apologies if you were offended/upset but that is how is going to have to b for on now on”

 

or

 

b) “we asked the bouncers to be a bit more vigilant and they took it a bit too far. Sorry”

 

They already have made a statement. https://www.theguardian.com/music/2024/sep/30/lincoln-venue-apologises-treatment-of-male-gig-goers-last-dinner-party-concert?utm_term=Autofeed&CMP=twt_gu&utm_medium&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1727688884 

[Mardy]

3 minutes ago, sadimmock said:

Apologies. I snapped at you there, which you probably didn’t deserve. I don’t think that anyone would object to the bouncers asking a few questions. That is no different to what happens every week outside clubs and pubs. It just seems that this went significantly beyond that. 
 

Either way someone needs to make a statement now. Either:

 

a) “we had significant concerns about the safety of our younger female fans. Therefore we had to take this action. Apologies if you were offended/upset but that is how is going to have to b for on now on”

 

or

 

b) “we asked the bouncers to be a bit more vigilant and they took it a bit too far. Sorry”

 

 

 

Absolutely no apology needed, either from you to me or more pertinently, from the venue to those men 

 

 

[scatteredscreens]

Just now, Mardy said:

 

 

Absolutely no apology needed, either from you to me or more pertinently, from the venue to those men 

 

 

There is though. It's a poor way of handling the situation. Also completely stupid to think that women's safety at gigs increases by asking some random guys for the name of three songs. It's a serious issue to be dealt with but this isn't the way of doing it.

[Soggy_feet]

Not a gig but related. Last Friday we had a work night out which involved a meal at local bar/venue that also has live bands on. 

 

Later in the evening there was just me and 2 female work colleagues left watching the band. I went outside for a smoke and then came back and sat down next to my colleagues on a sofa. Almost immediately a bouncer came over and asked my colleagues if it was ok if I sat down next to them. I thought that was great and reassuring that they would keep an eye out for such things. 

 

As a dad to a soon to be 15 year old girl and who will no doubt be going out to such places in the not too distant future, I'm all for it. 

[efcfanwirral]

1 hour ago, Ben7amin_ said:

I think perhaps if the venue has had problems with guys date raping girls -  Its not massively an inconvenience for me to undergo a little search on entry.  Happy to do so if its in the name of making gigs safer.  Id rather be searched for no reason than them not search a potential rapist for the reasons of upsetting people who did not need to be searched. 

 

However Its a bit weird getting questioned about knowledge of the band and thats a bit silly.   I mean would security know if i offered up a load of made up song titles. Is. knowlege of the band a pre-requisite to seeing them - im not sure it is. 

 

1 hour ago, scatteredscreens said:

There is though. It's a poor way of handling the situation. Also completely stupid to think that women's safety at gigs increases by asking some random guys for the name of three songs. It's a serious issue to be dealt with but this isn't the way of doing it.

I noticed in one of the replies to the original tweet someone else said that they'd been stood in the queue and others in the queue were asking him about favourite songs, and that his answer was "not acceptable" or something along those lines. So it seems naming the well known singles isn't quite going to cut it, at least for the fellow fans...

 

As if all the bouncers have a clue about the names of the songs,  though at least with these there's only a list of like 12 to glance over before they ask the questions. Imagine asking that for a band who's on their 5th album...

Edited 1 hour ago by efcfanwirral

[efcfanwirral]

7th most viewed story on The Guardian, so guessing the band will have to say something even if its just to reiterate this is what will be happening (which I still think should be done anyway, its the blindsiding of people that I'm not sure about, I prefer the honest approach so people know what they're going into)

[The Nal]

Is there a history of sexual assaults at their gigs? Or that venue?

 

Asking people to name songs is rubbish tho. Ive been to loads of gigs where I couldnt name a tune. Not on my own to see an act with a young female following mind you. 

Edited 53 minutes ago by The Nal

[incident]

45 minutes ago, efcfanwirral said:

I noticed in one of the replies to the original tweet someone else said that they'd been stood in the queue and others in the queue were asking him about favourite songs, and that his answer was "not acceptable" or something along those lines. So it seems naming the well known singles isn't quite going to cut it, at least for the fellow fans...

 

As if all the bouncers have a clue about the names of the songs,  though at least with these there's only a list of like 12 to glance over before they ask the questions. Imagine asking that for a band who's on their 5th album...

 

The whole "name a song" thing is stupid anyway. If someone has bothered to purchase a 30 quid ticket, for a tour that sold out near enough instantly, then it's safe to assume that they want to see the band. Being a fan of the band doesn't preclude someone from being a creepy f**ker, just as it doesn't implicate them. It'd be much more effective to simply have a few plain clothes security dotted around the place keeping eyes well open for anything amiss (and if necessary, they can stand next to anyone suspicious to keep a closer watch while still blending in to the crowd).

 

To be kinda blunt and cynical about it - if someone really is going out with a primary focus to be a creepy f**ker that has no interest in the band (and yeah, those people do exist), then there's other places that I have to think they'd head to first. Any town of a decent size will have bars and clubs that I'd avoid like the plague but that teenage girls (and therefore creepy older blokes) will flock to, and that will have alcohol (and consequently, bad judgement) flowing far more freely than you'd see at a gig from an indieish band. Unfortunately that's especially true at this time of year, with Unis back and all the 18 year olds away from home for the first time trying to check out all the free entry / cheap drinks offers that these places use to entice people in.

Edited 24 minutes ago by incident

[clasher]

Providing clear channels of reporting harassment, encouraging to do so and having staff trained and alert to potentially problematic events is one thing.

 

Arbitrarily targeting a certain demographic with stricter security measures while also setting criteria for attending a gig is another thing.

 

Surely we can agree that one is very much welcome and the other is unacceptable?

[Ben7amin_]

56 minutes ago, efcfanwirral said:

 

I noticed in one of the replies to the original tweet someone else said that they'd been stood in the queue and others in the queue were asking him about favourite songs, and that his answer was "not acceptable" or something along those lines. So it seems naming the well known singles isn't quite going to cut it, at least for the fellow fans...

 

As if all the bouncers have a clue about the names of the songs,  though at least with these there's only a list of like 12 to glance over before they ask the questions. Imagine asking that for a band who's on their 5th album...

 

 I Mean good luck if its a DJ set