Attending gigs solo

[stuie]

37 minutes ago, kaosmark2 said:

I think this is pretty relevant, sleazy guy is trying to complain about anything that might protect girls.

 

I'm sure something happened, but it sounds like a kick-off against anything going slightly too far by someone who wants no protections around.

 

As he's gay, I doubt very much that he presents any risk to girls whatsoever. 

 

I wasn't going to bother posting this but how have we got to the stage where all males are potential predators unless they can prove otherwise or answer band questions satisfactorily.  

 

Why should I be judged by the behaviour of other men I don't even know or associate with? 

[stuie]

4 hours ago, Mardy said:

Absolutely no apology needed, either from you to me or more pertinently, from the venue to those men 

 

At least the venue realise that not all lone men are predators and that they shouldn't be treated like they are. 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2024/sep/30/lincoln-venue-apologises-treatment-of-male-gig-goers-last-dinner-party-concert

 

 

 

 

[Mardy]

11 minutes ago, stuie said:

 

As he's gay, I doubt very much that he presents any risk to girls whatsoever. 

 

I wasn't going to bother posting this but how have we got to the stage where all males are potential predators unless they can prove otherwise or answer band questions satisfactorily.  

 

Why should I be judged by the behaviour of other men I don't even know or associate with? 

 

 

Because it's a societal problem, and there's a f**king epidemic of violence against women, and if, as a man, I can alleviate it somewhat, well, that's what being an ally is. The 'Not all men' narrative is understandable, but I think misjudged.

[4AssedMonkey]

11 minutes ago, stuie said:

 

As he's gay, I doubt very much that he presents any risk to girls whatsoever. 

 

I wasn't going to bother posting this but how have we got to the stage where all males are potential predators unless they can prove otherwise or answer band questions satisfactorily.  

 

Why should I be judged by the behaviour of other men I don't even know or associate with? 

 

Because the minority who commit sexual assault in venues don't wear "I'm a pervert" t-shirts I guess.

 

In all honesty, I cannot see a problem with any attempt to make gigs safer for women.  It's a huge problem.  This sounded misguided and heavy handed, but I go to gigs solo and am a 40-odd year old white man and if I had to be subject to a few questions or search on the way in I wouldn't care.  I'd expect to know why, and if I was told it was a policy to make the venue safer for all, then fine with me.  To cry "they think I'm a pervert!" on social media afterwards is, frankly, pathetic.

[The Nal]

Thing is, whats the criteria for being allowed in? 

 

"I can name 3 songs and I'm not a wrongun, honest"?

[stuie]

2 minutes ago, Mardy said:

Because it's a societal problem, and there's a f**king epidemic of violence against women, and if, as a man, I can alleviate it somewhat, well, that's what being an ally is. The 'Not all men' narrative is understandable, but I think misjudged.

 

Sorry, but I think that's bollocks.  There's an epidemic of race crime out there but we don't take the default position that everyone is racist... we don't treat every adult as if they are a pedophile, just in case. 

 

[scatteredscreens]

4 minutes ago, Mardy said:

 

 

Because it's a societal problem, and there's a f**king epidemic of violence against women, and if, as a man, I can alleviate it somewhat, well, that's what being an ally is. The 'Not all men' narrative is understandable, but I think misjudged.

If you really knew what you were talking about you would appreciate societal problems don't get fixed with such heavy handed and pointless action.

[duke88]

Just now, 4AssedMonkey said:

 

Because the minority who commit sexual assault in venues don't wear "I'm a pervert" t-shirts I guess.

 

In all honesty, I cannot see a problem with any attempt to make gigs safer for women.  It's a huge problem.  This sounded misguided and heavy handed, but I go to gigs solo and am a 40-odd year old white man and if I had to be subject to a few questions or search on the way in I wouldn't care.  I'd expect to know why, and if I was told it was a policy to make the venue safer for all, then fine with me.  To cry "they think I'm a pervert!" on social media afterwards is, frankly, pathetic.

 

I don't think anyone would resent being searched as they go in, it happens all the time. Although not sure what they could discover that would show someone was a pervert.

 

Weren't the men here taken off to a separate room and questioned before being allowed into the venue? Surely that's a bit OTT?

[scatteredscreens]

4 minutes ago, 4AssedMonkey said:

 

Because the minority who commit sexual assault in venues don't wear "I'm a pervert" t-shirts I guess.

 

I'm sure the deterrent of naming a couple of songs will rid the venue of any assaults. 

 

People still commit assault at gigs of artists they like you know, whether that's of the artist or the audience. Safe Gigs for Women have some actual useful guidance other than picking random people. https://www.instagram.com/safegigs4women/?hl=en

[Gnomicide]

I can't remember the last time I wasn't searched going into a gig. 

 

I do make sure my Union of Perverts membership card is tucked into my socks, though.

[Mardy]

Just now, scatteredscreens said:

I'm sure the deterrent of naming a couple of songs will rid the venue of any assaults. 

 

People still commit assault at gigs of artists they like you know, whether that's of the artist or the audience. Safe Gigs for Women have some actual useful guidance other than picking random people. https://www.instagram.com/safegigs4women/?hl=en

 

 

Absolutely superb stuff, there's loads of great initiatives, my main point is I've no patience with some men going on twitter moaning about any of this 'unfair treatment' and complaining that their feelings have been hurt.

[scatteredscreens]

Just now, Mardy said:

 

 

Absolutely superb stuff, there's loads of great initiatives, my main point is I've no patience with some men going on twitter moaning about any of this 'unfair treatment' and complaining that their feelings have been hurt.

Good for you. Maybe a time for reflection given not even the band (who requested it) or the venue agree with you on that one. 

[Mardy]

5 minutes ago, scatteredscreens said:

Good for you. Maybe a time for reflection given not even the band (who requested it) or the venue agree with you on that one. 

 

 I'm reflecting on many things, one of which is why this story got so many column inches and coverage, way more than the harassment of women at gigs gets.

[dotdash79]

23 minutes ago, Mardy said:

 

 I'm reflecting on many things, one of which is why this story got so many column inches and coverage, way more than the harassment of women at gigs gets.

Dog bites man isn’t news but man bites dog is. 
 

unfortunately women being harassed at gigs is not uncommon.

[kaosmark2]

26 minutes ago, Mardy said:

 

 I'm reflecting on many things, one of which is why this story got so many column inches and coverage, way more than the harassment of women at gigs gets.

A white man's fee-fees got hurt.

[The Nal]

9 minutes ago, dotdash79 said:

Dog bites man isn’t news but man bites dog is. 
 

unfortunately women being harassed at gigs is not uncommon.

 

Its grim its still a thing. That said, huge strides forward since the 90s. Ask any woman whos ever crowd surfed.

[Ayrshire Chris]

On 9/29/2024 at 3:41 PM, efcfanwirral said:

I couldn't really find a proper topic for this one, but thought it was interesting and could be a good discussion. This came up on my timeline, apparently was from a Last Dinner Party gig:

 

https://x.com/alittlebitdan/status/1840104567469383897?t=aCXmk6tUh2DLFDL-aK8ThA&s=19

 

Screenshot attached too. What do we all think of this? 

 

 

That’s a bit over the top, but the safety of females is so important and they must be allowed to go to a gig to enjoy themselves feeling safe and secure.
 I’ve been to some gigs on my own, mostly classic rock and metal as Mrs c usually passes on them. Never had a problem but most attendees are ageing guys like me! 

[fred quimby]

Unlike when I was young and could tell you everything about a record I probably couldn't say title of songs all the time now. I wonder if they would like me to sing them or hum the tune. 

[MEGATRONICMEATWAGON]

The naming songs/albums thing is so f**king snobbish. It's one of the worst parts of music fandom circles. It's happened to me a couple of times. I once had my Wu-Tang t-shirt on and a waiter at a bar saw it and started going off about how great they were and what my favourite songs were. I'm a huge fan, but my brain just doesn't remember names very well. It's the same with my hometown and streets/roads, I just don't seem to know where anyone is talking about, lol. 

 

Anyway, the waiter saw that I was wavering to name anything other than the most well-known one, and sarcastically said something like, "Come on man, you've got a Wu-Tang tee on, you've got to know their music!", calling me out in front of my friends. Proper lame behaviour. Needless to say, he did not get a tip from us.

 

Encyclopedic knowledge of an artist, their collaborations, the producers, where they recorded it, when it was released, who the artist is singing about, what clothes they were wearing during their acceptance speech for any award is not a pre-requisite to being able to like an artist. Absolutely detest it.

[glimmers_of_hope]

23 hours ago, Gnomicide said:

I'd have thought they have always had quite a high proportion of older blokes at their gigs, with them being 6 Music faves.

Yeah, saw them on Friday. Pretty even split between youngsters and 6 music dad's. 

 

I was actually nearly going solo (44 year old man) because my wife decided not to go in the end but my sister came with me instead. 

 

I go to a lot of gigs on my own. 

[fred quimby]

4 minutes ago, MEGATRONICMEATWAGON said:

The naming songs/albums thing is so f**king snobbish. It's one of the worst parts of music fandom circles. It's happened to me a couple of times. I once had my Wu-Tang t-shirt on and a waiter at a bar saw it and started going off about how great they were and what my favourite songs were. I'm a huge fan, but my brain just doesn't remember names very well. It's the same with my hometown and streets/roads, I just don't seem to know where anyone is talking about, lol. 

 

Anyway, the waiter saw that I was wavering to name anything other than the most well-known one, and sarcastically said something like, "Come on man, you've got a Wu-Tang tee on, you've got to know their music!", calling me out in front of my friends. Proper lame behaviour. Needless to say, he did not get a tip from us.

 

Encyclopedic knowledge of an artist, their collaborations, the producers, where they recorded it, when it was released, who the artist is singing about, what clothes they were wearing during their acceptance speech for any award is not a pre-requisite to being able to like an artist. Absolutely detest it.

Should of stood up and rapped a few to him 😉

[MEGATRONICMEATWAGON]

2 minutes ago, fred quimby said:

Should of stood up and rapped a few to him 😉

 

Don't get me started on how terrible my memory of lyrics is. I'm very much a trier, but even to my favourite songs of all time I'm a walking human sieve 😅

Edited 50 minutes ago by MEGATRONICMEATWAGON

[MEGATRONICMEATWAGON]

2 minutes ago, fred quimby said:

Should of stood up and rapped a few to him 😉

 

Oh and now that I remember, he did rap at the table some of their stuff and looked horrified that I couldn't step up and continue the next bar.

[fred quimby]

1 minute ago, MEGATRONICMEATWAGON said:

 

Oh and now that I remember, he did rap at the table some of their stuff and looked horrified that I couldn't step up and continue the next bar.

That made me chuckle.  I would would be dreadful. 

Or just rap anything and then say you must have the demo tapes that came from

[northernangel]

7 hours ago, Mardy said:

Ah, boohoohoo, Dan feels a little bit uncomfortable at a TLDP gig. Tough f**king sh*t. All of female friends feel really uncomfortable in a whole variety of settings, pubs, clubs, gigs etc if they're on their own, or even if they're with their friends. I give precisely zero f**ks about WhitemiddleagedprivilegedDanfromTwitter's slightly bruised feelings. Grow the f**k up you whining little maggot, and think about the context around you. Women's safety is way more important than you getting asked a couple of questions. 

 

Considering the band have condemned how it was handled this is an extremely poor post. The day as a 37 year old bloke I go to a band however long they've been around I like and questioned because people may be attending younger than me is when gigging is dead!

I'll remember when I attend a Green Day gig next time as someone growing up with them at Reading or something that maybe I shouldn't because there will be younger girls there in that space as well that are into their punk music from teens. 

Men are not there to be generalised and victimised just because two differences age periods like the same band. It's shocking treatment. Maybe the whole social club down my road should have older men doing the bingo before a band starts that has a 14/15 year old front woman in their band because they are a teenage band.