singles thread

[Millsy2008]

Next time, try to make sure the old Millsy never goes away. I used to make that mistake, most certainly unintentionally, but it still happened. Relationships based on one person giving up doing everything they love almost certainly never work

[Katster]

it was more about him making me feel like a bitch if i didn't do what he wanted then me willingly giving them he was very manupliative. but your right i learned after i spilt with the wee one's dad that i would never lose my social abilities (i never went out for like 3 years when i was with him) and i had such a good time on saturday forgot what i was missing the last 5 months

[Millsy2008]

Sometimes, it just happens, when you first get with someone you can often want to spend every single minute of your time with them, then when you get more settled with them, you remember all the stuff you used to do. They often don't like the fact that you no longer want to spend all your time with them and jealousy kicks in.

There are also some complete and utter twats out there who very cleverly trick you into losing your old life, they're the worst in my experience.

I hope you continue to enjoy yourself anyway

[rabid]

Sometimes, it just happens, when you first get with someone you can often want to spend every single minute of your time with them, then when you get more settled with them, you remember all the stuff you used to do. They often don't like the fact that you no longer want to spend all your time with them and jealousy kicks in.

[Katster]

lol your right he finished we is one saturday night cuz i wouldn't change my mind and stay in with him a hour before i was due to meet mates in town, tho i was strong that day and went out anyway i felt bad the whole nite, stupid eh

[Millsy2008]

Best if you find someone who likes doing all the stuff you used to do with you.

[Katster]

the wee ones dad was exactly the same as me think we just feel into a rut as it were.

twatface also liked doing exactly the same stuff as i do, think i wasn't weak enough for him to bully too much

[Millsy2008]

Sounds exactly like my previous two relationships, minus the wee one

Who knows, you might find your very own Mr Cheese next time around eh?

[worm]

Next time, try to make sure the old Millsy never goes away.

[Katster]

And the award for longest streak of posts with an opening line cliche goes to Katster for today's hatrick.

Well done that lady. Clearly recovered from her hangover.

[Straight_Outta_Trumpton]

Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am!

[Peevis]

I could do with some of your cliché wisdom too!

My girlfriend ended it with me last week (over the phone) after 2 and a half years. It came completely out of the blue; she told me she "loved me so so much" 3 days prior and the last time I saw her before the breakup we had a great weekend together and parted with a loving, passionate kiss and more words that just indicated that she loved me intensely.

Basically she moved abroad in November so when she gets back to England I'm going to turn up on her doorstep to have a conversation about why she did it, and why she did it in that way. I really don't know how to play it though, I feel that because there was zero indication of my impending doom that maybe she can be turned around but she can be an incredibly stubborn girl. I know I'm a sap for doing so but I've rerecorded a song that she used to listen to when we were apart before, I think I'll burn it to a CD and leave it in her room or something just so she knows how much she means to me without me having to break down in tears in front of her.

Edited December 16, 2008 by Peevis

[Straight_Outta_Trumpton]

But try and understand she doesn't have to go out with you if she doesn't want to, now does she really have to have a reason beyond that fact. This is not about logic my good chum, this is about what you do to someones heart. Nothing you can do or say can change that. No matter how much yuo want to.

Good luck my friend!

[Peevis]

If it hadn't been for the completely loving way in which she acted up until that day I wouldn't be so confused. She always talked about marriage and kids, I just don't see how she could have said those things (and recently as well) if she actually wanted to break up. We didn't speak for a couple of days because I was out one night and she was the next and then she ended it the following day.

Also, she only got the job that saw her move out there because I wrote a large part of the application and encouraged her to apply for it, I didn't want her to miss out on such a great opportunity because of me and I thought our relationship was strong enough to last the 2 or so years she will be out there, especially as we can travel to each other in ~3 hours.

I'll admit I haven't been as much fun as normal recently because of job stuff and the economic uncertainty that caused that job stuff but I thought she cared enough to stick with me through the tough times.

[Straight_Outta_Trumpton]

I'm sure she cares very much my friend. IN the end this is not entirely enough though is it?

Edited December 16, 2008 by Straight_Outta_Trumpton

[Peevis]

I suppose not. How you can care for someone and yet break up with them over the phone just before Christmas after 2.5 years is beyond me though. I wouldn't dream of being so callous.

I need to hear her reasons.

[Straight_Outta_Trumpton]

Indeed, and of course. Problem is, if it's you, even through no fault of your own.. You have to accept it. For your own sake. And the sad truth is it is probably you. Now what you do or what you've done at all. You know how she could dp pretty much anything and you'd fogive her? Well sadly the same works the other way around too.

Talking her round will paper over the cracks and make you both feel better, for a while... But the problem will remain.

[sifi]

You know how she could dp pretty much anything and you'd fogive her?

[greenfairy43]

Typo?

Edited December 16, 2008 by greenfairy43

[sifi]

I'm SO glad it wasn't just me

[Katster]

I could do with some of your cliché wisdom too!

My girlfriend ended it with me last week (over the phone) after 2 and a half years. It came completely out of the blue; she told me she "loved me so so much" 3 days prior and the last time I saw her before the breakup we had a great weekend together and parted with a loving, passionate kiss and more words that just indicated that she loved me intensely.

Basically she moved abroad in November so when she gets back to England I'm going to turn up on her doorstep to have a conversation about why she did it, and why she did it in that way. I really don't know how to play it though, I feel that because there was zero indication of my impending doom that maybe she can be turned around but she can be an incredibly stubborn girl. I know I'm a sap for doing so but I've rerecorded a song that she used to listen to when we were apart before, I think I'll burn it to a CD and leave it in her room or something just so she knows how much she means to me without me having to break down in tears in front of her.

[Radar]

I think you can rely on me to find a dirty filthy meaning to pretty much anything.

[Straight_Outta_Trumpton]

I agree with most of what Peevis has said but I don't think you should give up. I agree you are entitled to talk things over properly with her, you might still not get the absolute truth but to end things with someone over the phone after a couple of years is cruel to say the very least, a couple of months perhaps, but someone who has been your other half for over two years, deserves better than that.

Perhaps the distance is proving too much for her? She loves you but can't cope with not seeing you for long periods of time?? I know if it was me it would do my nut in to say the very least.

Talk to her when she gets back, if she'll allow it

[Katster]

I'm not letting her have the choice of allowing it or not, I'm turning up at her house on Saturday unannounced. I need and deserve a conversation and I'm dropping off her stuff as an excuse.

Distance is such an easy excuse; we can get to each other pretty quickly now and things were fine in the time between uni and her moving abroad even though our houses are 4 or so hours apart by public transport.

[Straight_Outta_Trumpton]

You have to give her the choice, she doesn't have to speak to you if she really doesn't want to, even if you turn up at her house unannounced.

I hope it goes well though, and she will talk, and you get stuff sorted out

And good on you for sticking with it, most people would probably just accept what she'd said and turn all bitter.....or confirm her suspiscions that it was actually YOU who'd stopped caring (she may well be looking for a reaction to what she's said?)