The Glasto Handy Tips Guide

[russycarps]

6.) Army Poncho! Not only ace for all occasions, but superb for that 'I've been standing waiting for my fave band to come on and I'm not moving now since I'm near the front but I MUST PISS' moments. Simply bring a pint from the nearest bar with you and when finished, conceal beneath poncho, let the relief of wee expulsion take over your body.... and when done simply crouch down and re-distribute the lovely stuff into the mud

[MangaHead]

One thing for sure for people going in cars, prepare them beforehand for the worst!

Last year when it constantly rained everyone ended up getting stuck in the mud trying to get out the car park at 12 midnight after the closing performance.

Mud from clothing is enough to mess up the car well and truly but having to get out to push about five others cars, falling flat a few times from that and trolling to the front of the queue to see what's up in the pouring rain brought so much extra mud in, which went just about everywhere.

This time we're going to cover all the seats with bin bags and tape them to the inside floor and doors before leaving. Suppose you could use selotape folded on itself, elephant tape or some other. But you can buy double sided tape from B&Q like carpet tape (for securing rugs etc. to the floor). I think it'll be pretty quick and simple to do.

Also, I think you should prepare for a long haul being stuck in your vehicle in case similar conditions happen again. That means food and drink, and maybe something to do about going to the toilet!

My friend had to take a piss last time and all we had were plastic pint cups, which were fine for the job. But I had to throw it out my side of the window and it went totally wrong! I couldn't wash my hand till home! While it was so very amusing for others, to be honest I wasn't actually bothered about the mishap, we were dirty as ***t already so I was fine living with it.

However, I can easily image other people dieing if that had happened to them.

[Peachy]

One for (mainly) the ladies

Take lady hygeine wipes, anti bacteria wipes(for the seat) and some anti cystitis sachets, try and avoid the portaloos as well. It might seem a bit much but after catching a urinary tract infection from the toilets (no it was a sex free festival for me so not from that)I felt I was on deaths door. Had to stumble to the medical tent who were outstanding and gave me antibiotics and the above advice. felt pretty shit for the rest of that festival and couldnt drink but fortunately it was a sunday so didnt ruin evrything. If you do get one make sure you go to the medical tent as these sorts of infections can lead to kidney damage.

NB yes I did and still do have a high standard of personal hygiene but as the good doctor told me the toilets can be soooo full of germs that you have to be extra careful

[midnight_toker]

DONT do this. This "lovely stuff" will find it's way into the streams causing pollution. This is a fundamental part of the festival license. There are a LOT of toilets, use them. Don't be so selfish and lazy.

Not to mention it's disgusting. Who wants to sit on grass covered in piss?

[pezzypops]

another one for the car drivers:

if your car has a screw-in type towing eye, take it and your wheel-nut wrench or screwdriver (to tighten it up with) out of your spare wheel/tool kit and put it in your glove box. if you do need to get towed out of some mud, you don't want to have to unpack your boot to get to the vital towing eye.

if your towing eye is permanent then disregard the above

[Kernow Ledge]

Keep hydrated. Remember to drink water throughout the day and not just booze (obviously don't get too carried away, you wouldn't want to accidently find yourself sober).

I try to drink a bottle of water with a re-hydration sachet in it before going to sleep. They are pretty cheap from Boots. This replaces all the lost minerals, salts etc, and will hopefully reduce your hangover a little.

[lillypip]

Although hand santising gel is a definate must, it dried my hands out so badly last year that they started bleeding. So this year; mini bottle of sanitiser, coupled with a mini bottle of moisturiser! May sound over the top, but my hands were so sore last year, i couldnt use the sanitiser after saturday, so then i was paranoid about having germ-ridden mitts!!

Plus, an absolute MUST for me is Travel Johns. A tad pricey, but worth their weight in gold when you've had too much to drink, and yet cant face getting out of your tent at stupid-o-clock in the morning! Also, they beat a comfort bottle as there is absolutely no smell and no risk of leakage...dont think i could snuggle up next to a bottle of p*** for fear of spillages!!

And one last one for the ladies....leg warmers...if you want to wear shorts/skirts/three quarter lengths, welly chaffing is a nightmare!! Add some funky leg warmers and you're styish and comfortable! What more could you want!!

actually...one final thing....Batiste. If you havent heard of it, look it up. I recommend the coconut one....A festival essential!!

[stuartbert two hats]

I'm quite surprised no-one has mentioned how important it is to take your own Toilet Rolls!

[essenceofman]

Place two or three meter strips of duct tape on the upper side of your tent ground sheet. Duct tape comes in useful for everything ever that is a camping emergency.

Arrive onsite as early as possible and camp in the far reaching corner of your preferred camping field. It means no chance of a stream of lovely people walking through your area, tripping over your tent.

Offer to help new neighbours set up their tents or at least make them a brew.

[r0cky]

another one for the car drivers:

if your car has a screw-in type towing eye, take it and your wheel-nut wrench or screwdriver (to tighten it up with) out of your spare wheel/tool kit and put it in your glove box. if you do need to get towed out of some mud, you don't want to have to unpack your boot to get to the vital towing eye.

if your towing eye is permanent then disregard the above

[superdry]

Just found these For a little space saving instead of carrying heavy and bulky camping stoves.

[Aurigan Prime]

Although there are no shortage of food tents some of them can be quite pricey and the portions not exactly huge, but in the family camping field there was a tent fun by some diving or sailing club or something, they were doing the most wonderful fried breakfasts on buns for fluppence h'apenny. Kept me going through a long and muddy few days.

[essenceofman]

Although there are no shortage of food tents some of them can be quite pricey and the portions not exactly huge, but in the family camping field there was a tent fun by some diving or sailing club or something, they were doing the most wonderful fried breakfasts on buns for fluppence h'apenny. Kept me going through a long and muddy few days.

[its42]

This will be our first yeay to have this with us but check out http://www.kellykettle.com/ they boil in no time for a brew

[Kaybee]

1. Sling together a DIY first aid kit. Painkillers, plasters, insect bite pen, antiseptic cream, cystemme and canesten if you're susceptible to either lovely condition (cos, who'd have guessed, personal hygiene may just slip a little).

2. Ear plugs.

3. Sleeping bag liner - amazing amount more warmth for the space they take up.

4. Torch torch torch but if you're me not a lovely expensive Maglite as that's the one thing that I consistently lose.

5. Thinsulate beanie hat - smaller, lighter and easier to keep dry than a woolly hat. Got mine for 25p in a charity shop. On the plus side will keep you toastie and on the down side will make you look an utter twunt. But, and I believe this may have been mentioned, its not a fashion show

[Staberinde]

invest in micro fibre towels

[Blaze]

not sure if this has been mentioned (probably) but can I just say if you dont have a moneybelt, use a wallet lanard and attach it to your belt and wallet.. then keep your wallet in a zipped pocket preferably.. provides you with a bit of protection from it dropping out ect..

[dvjj]

I'm quite surprised no-one has mentioned how important it is to take your own Toilet Rolls!

Edited May 15, 2008 by dvjj

[beergut100]

I've seen some people arriving with about a million bog rolls. How many shits are they planning to take? I just take a couple of bog rolls. They are always available to buy cheaply from those 24 hour shops, even if they're not doing the free ones this year.

Edited May 15, 2008 by stevedevine

[Langdale Wolf]

+1. If one person does it, then that's not too much of a problem. But if thousands of people do it then we all end up sitting in piss if it's dry - and squelching around in pissy mud if it rains!

If you really can't be arsed to get to a loo, then at least have the decency to piss into a bottle with a lid on it - and then put it in the bin. Girls can do this too, with a she-wee.

If you don't have a bottle with a lid, then by all means do it in a pint cup. But you are then obliged to drink it...

[Langdale Wolf]

I've seen some people arriving with about a million bog rolls. How many shits are they planning to take? I just take a couple of bog rolls. They are always available to buy cheaply from those 24 hour shops, even if they're not doing the free ones this year.

[Steve P]

I thought I should give my thoughts on this too.

I remember a very long thread last year went on about people who openly piss in the stage areas - there is NO excuse for this - especially blokes.

Come on guys - there are SO many urinals dotted ALL over the site. Even by the pyramid stage, there are some on the left (as you're looking at the stage) so even if you're desperate and it's half way through a set, you can still hear it!!

And, there is MORE than enough time between sets to have a piss, get another pint and find your way back to your group. And that's just the pyramid when it's the most awkward to get out of the crowd. The smaller stages - even LESS excuse.

Every year I see some clever twat take a sneaky piss whilst standing around other people, and it splashes against unsuspecting people's wellies. It's DISGUSTING.

PLEASE don't do it, folks. If it's not for the simple fact it's lazy and revolting, it isn't good for the environment as mentioned earlier.

The Green Police who wander around the site looking for such misdemeanours are always quite amusing to watch - if they see someone pissing in a stream for example, they blow their whistles and alert EVERYONE nearby to the pissee who must feel pretty bloody embarrassed. And rightly so.

Urinals are NOT hard to spot, and it's not as if there aren't enough. USE THEM.

[Langdale Wolf]

That said one of the funniest things i ever saw at Glasto involved pyramid stage peeing. A bloke was sat on a mini stool and obviously needed to pee but was in such a state he couldn't stand let alone walk to a urinal. So he pulled out his old fella and proceeded to try and pee in a cup, all whilst still sitting down. We watched in absolute stitches as he proceeded to fall back off his stool, empty what he had got in the cup over himself and then just continue peeing all over himself. Karma is great sometimes

[FrayBentos]

Make sure you remember all the landmarks around where you've camped. When you get back from your first big wander around site you can be sure the the campsite won't look the same (especially at night) as when you left it.

[davidd]

remember years ago when loads of people used to piss in the stream . this one monumentally pissed fella slurped his way to the bank of said stream, through a bog made of previous dirty swines piss and mud, and stood swaying,seemingly happy as the proverbial pig. unfortunately for him ( not for us ) , his swaying became more and more pronounced he keeled over and into what was now more or less an open sewer. one of the funniest things i've seen was him trying and failing to get up and out of the opposite bank for the next five minutes,falling backwards and floundering in filth. remember kids, it aint cool to piss in streams.