Time for Tease proves a burlesque highlight of Sunday's Bestival

We woke on Sunday to find it as gloomy as Friday had been, with none of the sunny patches of the day before to cheer us into the day. Fortunately we did have something rather nice to look forward to that afternoon: we were booked in at the Time for Tease tent to have afternoon tea with a burlesque cabaret, and I was extremely excited. As we followed our waitress through the golden chairs and clothed tables to our places, it was clear this space was intended to be a haven of glamour away from the mud and rain. There was a small stage in the middle of the tent and glamorous girls with elaborate 1940s styled hair and make-up buzzed about making preparations near the screen that acted as their backstage area.



We ordered a champagne afternoon tea, with cucumber sandwiches, dainty little cakes and clotted cream scones with jam, washed down with tea and a glass of bubbly. As we ate our delicious tea, an array of decadent beauties stripped off down to their nipple tassels for our viewing pleasure, including Trixee Sparkle, a sort of ethereal alien character who took a drink of wine and then decided to get her kit off, Honey Lulu, a grieving widow who starts to feel a lot better when she realises her husband has left her loaded... and gets her kit off, and Lily Deluxe, a glamorous air hostess who also got down to her smalls. Also entertaining us were Des O'Conner (not to be confused with The Des O'Connor), leading us in silly saucy sing-alongs with his ukulele, and Les Gateaux Vivantes, a burlesque tribute to the tableaux vivantes of the Victorian era who used to entertain at parties by putting together living still-lives, often mimicking popular works of art from the time. It was an extremely enjoyable part of my festival and definitely the highlight of Sunday.

Coming back out into the open, we took the opportunity presented by the brief patch of dry weather to go back to our camp and pack up the tent as we were booked on a very early ferry the next morning and had already decided we would pack up and sleep in the car that night to minimise hassle the next day. After a few arduous trips through the boggy campsite, up and down the hill to the car park, we were somewhat subdued, but finally ready to get back to the festival.

Returning to the arena I was gutted to discover that, yet again, I had managed to miss Roni Size & Reprazent for about the millionth time this summer, but I am told that their Main Stage set was pretty special - it certainly sounded pretty good from the bass rumble we could hear in the car park. I had to content myself with finally getting to see Roots Manuva & DJ MK instead, this time in the far more congenial and considerably less packed X Box Social tent. Once again, this area had a rocking party atmosphere, much like the old Bacardi Bar from festival days of old - in fact I think it may be the same tent, now re-branded for X Box. DJ MK span plenty of old school party classics mixing through breaks, jungle and hip hop, while Roots Manuva added the lyrical flavour, often leaving the stage to wander around the crowd in the tent with his radio mic.

Moving on, we found techno legend Carl Craig playing the Big Top tent, boosted by an impressive lights and laser show. Although the Big Top crowd were definitely loving his set, minimal techno is really not my thing, so once we'd had a good ooh and ahh at the pretty lights, which were some of the best I've seen at a festival in this country, we decided to move on.

Next for us were the Isle of Wight's own The Bees on the BBC Introducing stage which had managed to get back on its feet in time for a full day's schedule of music on both Saturday and Sunday in spite of further downpours. A substantial crowd had gathered for this gig in spite of Underworld's headline set on the Main Stage, and The Bees didn't disappoint, in spite of a drunken buffoon of a guitarist, dressed as Heath Ledger's Joker, who spent the whole set trying to pull focus from his band mates. Swapping instruments what seemed like every ten seconds, this extremely talented band who defy categorisation (they must have written at least one song for every basic musical genre you can think of) played a crowd-pleasing set that spanned their full back catalogue, including tracks like 'Chicken Payback', 'Watching the Rain' and 'El Manino'. As the band played their final track, fireworks erupted in the distance, presumably as Underworld finished their Main Stage set, and we turned to watch with the rest of the crowd, feeling we had missed nothing.

At a loose end for the next hour, we popped into the little Havana Club mojito tent, where Soft Rocks was DJ-ing to a crowd that grew thicker by the minute. Playing a feel-good mixture of funk, soul and kitsch pop, this was definitely the place to go for a good time and the fun-loving crowd were all smiley faces and silly dancing - a perfect festival dancing set.

Arriving at Redbull Arena some 20 minutes ahead of DJ Yoda's closing set, I was not entirely surprised to find that the tent was already packed. What did surprise me, however, was the attitude of the security guards attending that gate. Tired and unprepared to fight the crowds to get in, we decided early on to just position ourselves by a gate at the back entrance so that we could watch the set without having to battle for a space to dance. Unfortunately, this also gave us ringside seats for the unpleasantness that was to occur.

This late on the final night of the festival, people were naturally in high spirits and when bouncers would not let them into the tent, the mischievous ones attempted to jump the gate and sneak past security when they weren't looking. To say that the security guard's reaction was disproportionate to the crime doesn't even cut it; the ShowSec Rent-a-Thug on the gate gave the waiting queue a most vulgar display of power, as cheeky lads were grabbed by their throats and threatened with violence, and one teenage girl was literally grabbed by her hair and thrown into the mud before being manhandled back out of the gate. It was utterly unbelievable. I have always heard about scenes like these, but I had never actually seen one before. It is security staff like this one who give the others a bad name. If Bestival or ShowSec are reading this, I hope they will look into the person who was given the task of manning the back left-hand entrance to the Redbull Arena on Sunday night around midnight. I know these guys have a hard job which they are just trying to do, but there are ways and means, and the guy on our gate just appeared to enjoy an excuse to damage people. It was a disturbing end to the festival that completely eclipsed Yoda's excellent set for me.



For a festival that has a record of pretty much perfect weather over its 5 year history, this was a baptism of fire for the Bestival. This was easily the wettest, muddiest festival I have been to in 2008, with muddy conditions to rival the worst Glastonbury has seen in recent years. Still, in spite of this the organisers managed to keep the plentiful toilets relatively clean, which I understand was no mean feat, with the toilet cleaning crew being dragged around by tractors. My boyfriend felt there weren't nearly enough urinals, which added to toilet queuing time, but that was our only qualm in that department. There was plenty of good food available, the bars were well-staffed and easy to get served at, with a decent selection of booze. Fair enough the lager choice was poor (who drinks Tuborg?! It's awful!), but with Brothers on tap at most bars, who really cares? Water points are my only major grumble - we could've done with far more, especially around the campsite.

In spite of the inclement weather and the small moans mentioned above, Bestival was easily my favourite festival of the 2008 season. The people were friendly, the musical programming was varied and interesting, the sound quality was excellent on all stages, the light shows were awesome even early in the day, and the organisers did their best to cope with biblical weather conditions which they were clearly unprepared for. If the festival still managed to be this good in knee-deep mud, I can't wait to see what it has to offer next year if the sun decides to return. Let's just hope it does.

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