Slightly (well very) gross question

[strudders]

Last year I was talking to some girls sat outside the bar at Jazz World who were camping in Pennards and someone had had a massive poo in their tent on top on top of one of their sleeping bags! Yuk!!!! Felt so sorry for them.

Hubby got caught short during Leonard Cohen and didn't want to miss the end so he used his Gelart drinking glass, I made sure not to get it mixed up with mine even after he'd disposed of the contents down the urinal and washed the glass out!

Edited March 28, 2009 by strudders

[StoneCircle]

Fortunately they didn't have to sleep in that tent as there was room in their mates tents so they had bought a new sleeping bag and sadly but forgivably planned to leave the tent and the sleeping bag there.

Don't know how I would have coped with that at 17 years old.

[strudders]

Fortunately they didn't have to sleep in that tent as there was room in their mates tents so they had bought a new sleeping bag and sadly but forgivably planned to leave the tent and the sleeping bag there.

Don't know how I would have coped with that at 17 years old.

[Un Adepte Des Raconteurs]

Down the front during Morrissey at V 2006 there was a very very drunk man shouting "ive shat me pants, ive shat me pants".

As we got nearer to him and his crazy dancing, the stench confirmed that he had indeed "shat eez pants".

Clearly he started something he couldn't finish. (gets coat, shuffles away)

N.B. - rubbish pun aside, this is a true story.

[Red_Eye_Jedi]

Down the front during Morrissey at V 2006 there was a very very drunk man shouting "ive shat me pants, ive shat me pants".

As we got nearer to him and his crazy dancing, the stench confirmed that he had indeed "shat eez pants".

Clearly he started something he couldn't finish. (gets coat, shuffles away)

[Greenish]

as gross as pissing anywhere but urinals/toilets is to me, i'd really like to ask everyone not to just piss on the grass / into a cup and tip it on the grass. glastonbury festival was under threat a few years ago from too much 'polution' in the stream. not only is it gross for everyone around you, if enough people are pissing on the floor it could stop future festivals being allowed!

[Superscally]

as gross as pissing anywhere but urinals/toilets is to me, i'd really like to ask everyone not to just piss on the grass / into a cup and tip it on the grass. glastonbury festival was under threat a few years ago from too much 'polution' in the stream. not only is it gross for everyone around you, if enough people are pissing on the floor it could stop future festivals being allowed!

[Originalshez]

Had to once, at the Killers in 07. The crowd was so large and dense that to get to the toilets and back would have been impossible. I'd stood through the Kooks to get a decent spot, so I wasn't going! Did manage to stand 12 hours the following day for The 'Oo tho

[Kaye]

There's a habbit in Scotland, especially T in the Park of pissing in cups and throwing it into crowds. I've seen this at gigs everywhere but nothing like at that place, it's like an attack of a fort. Horrible when you get hit.

[Kaye]

The solution to pollution is dilution remember.

By all means crucify those who should have full control over their bodily functions, but don't oppress the pissheads.

[chuckley]

It's just simple lack of discipline.. you have to ease off the volume liquids mid-afternoon cos you know you'll be stuck in front of Pyramid half the evening without access to loo. It's just basic decency and consideration for others really..

[Superscally]

Throwing it is the act of a proper c**t, but under your long coat into a bottle when in the middle of a 70000 strong crowd isn't a crime against humanity.

Consider that t-shirt printed...although if you saw me in it at Glasto, would you really wanna come up to me lol?

[beamends]

It's just simple lack of discipline.. you have to ease off the volume liquids mid-afternoon cos you know you'll be stuck in front of Pyramid half the evening without access to loo. It's just basic decency and consideration for others really..

[robith]

Is it time to tell my story from last year? I think it is.

I've been holding this one in on here for a year.

Thurs last year, sat up on flagtopia. Some knucklehead and his wife break open the nature resevre fence and the bloke starts pissing on to the bushes. Green Police come over all like "WHO-oh woo-oh" and everything's booing as is the custom.

Bloke starts losing it. Head green police girl goes don't piss in the bushes - bloke goes "f**k off you fat bitch".

This in unacceptable. As he trudges away, sat down and calm as, I shout out, "No need for that you stupid c**t". Not the best choice of language, but f**k it, if he's going to talk to girls like that, he can deal with it.

He comes trudging back

Him: You got a problem with me pissing in the bushes?

Me: What kind of a stupid opening gambit is that? Am I unhappy I'm pissing in a nature reserve and being rude to people trying to ensure the festival happens? Tricky.

H: What's your problem?

M: My problem is that pissing in the bushes leads to high build up of amonia in the soil.

H: What are you some kind of hippy scientist?

M: No, but the local council have issues with it and it could lead to the festival having its license revoked

Girl sat near me who I didn't know: Yeah you'd know if you'd been more than once

M: And further more, there's a toilet at the bottom of the hill.

H: Oh, you're so educated aren't you?

M: I don't you need a university degree to know you piss in a toilet. It's a basic social norm.

H: f**k you

M: Oh well, that's me told. How I can I live with such insight. Did you read acerbic wit at Oxford?

*Man trudges back down the hill as everyone at flagtopia laughs at him*

[madfedex2001]

i tried going for a piss with a cup concelled under my water proof trouser. i was that wasted though i completly missed the cup and pissed all inside my trousers. Minging. let that be a lesson you play with fir you get burned!

[Sam.]

Me and my pal did it at V last year through the circular holes on the front barriers. No one could see so no harm done.

[Kyelo]

Me and my pal did it at V last year through the circular holes on the front barriers. No one could see so no harm done.

[minkitzka]

I've gone for the bottle option, with the proviso that I can't see or hear it hapening, and it's disposed of properly. I'd rather someone did that than pee on the ground behind me, so it splashed all down the back of my trousers , I expressed my great displeasure in no uncertain terms I can assure you.

But I'd rather they went and found the facilities instead if possible!

[staggerlee]

I've pissed in a plastic glass before, it's very difficult and almost always messy. I see nothing wrong with urinating in a plastic bottle and attaching the lid.

[Bradders]

But the problem with using a bottle is, without trying to blow my own horn, you need a wide neck bottle. Trying to use an average water bottle was tricky... If you do manage to get it in there you may end up with an awful chinese-finger-trap type situation

[muddyslingbax]

I think attitudes have changed...... and rightly so.

I don't see the things I used to see at festivals, for instance nobody has pooed outside a tent entrance since the 80's.......

Not me by the way, just for complete clarification.. No to number 2's there is a time and a place for that......

although... No another time.....

[staggerlee]

But the problem with using a bottle is, without trying to blow my own horn, you need a wide neck bottle. Trying to use an average water bottle was tricky... If you do manage to get it in there you may end up with an awful chinese-finger-trap type situation

[Chimps in Balaclavas]

If you see anyone in the crowd with a Surf or a Lenor bottle steer clear, it's pretty certain that they won't be doing any washing.

[beergut100]

There was a story on here last year about a pissed bloke who was sat down pissing into a cup. When he had finished, he fell over backwards, pouring it all over himself

[Pinhead]

Often considered this logistical problem for the bigger, more crowded stages at Glasto after years of 'holding on', sometimes in agony, in order to see the end of a good set.

1. Good idea about switching to spirits - this is in many ways is the best option as allows you to carry on drinking without fear.

2. Bogs are either side of Pyramid and same arrangement found for most stages - at the Pyramid, I have done this run in under 8 minutes before and been back in my previous spot in front of the stage. However, depends on band - popular ones and the crowd density increases considerably as does the likelihood of losing your spot or not even finding it again when you come to return (can use flags to assist in relocation, but this belongs to another well worn discussion).

3. Barrier. If you are up front at the barrier, and it is one of the fairly conceiling types of barrier (like Jazzworld had one year), then it is possible to trickle it down this surreptitiously without upsetting anyone in front but Security, who cannot see what you are up to in any case . . .

4. Use one of those jel pack absorption things - neat, tidy and fairly sanitary. However I find that the sheer volume of piss available by the time it gets bad enough to have to restort to these emergency measures that require the deployment of such apparatus, is far in excess of the design specification of this facility!

5. There is a 'safety corridor' at Glasto now since 2007. There to help 'Specialised' monitor the crowd, give out water, and give a whole row of punters something else to lean on, could the function of these be expanded to provide a 'piss corridor' to speed the access of those in danger of being caught short nearer the front of the stage?

6. A skystalk to pluck the leaking helpless from out of the middle of the crowd. The BBC use these for their long 'pull back' shots of the Pyramid and arena, especially at night with all the pretty flares and screens. However, place one at each side of the stage and then use a skilled bundgee jumper to extract those in distress and airlift to the safety of the facilities. You could indicate your need for rescue with a special arm wave or jesture as outlined in The Guide so that everyone is aware of the protocol.

I'm thinking about this too much now arn't I . . .