Viz 'top tip' for Glastonbury

[Midnight Man]

To keep your possessions safe and avoid getting caught short, sleep in a chemical toilet. Just turn it on its side and remember to lock the door.

Any others?

[Sam Crawley]

Another good sleeping place - most stages are equipped with large dark cavernous boxes, great for napping and built in free alarm clock (be aware: no snooze button!)

[beergut100]

Avoid obscuring everyone's view by simply using a plastic mac or "poncho" instead of a f**king umbrella!

[The Nal]

Extra large ponchos make an excellent "family sized poncho" for dwarves.

[Red Day]

Insomniacs, in case you haven’t heard…….Bruce Springsteen is playing on the Saturday afternoon/evening/night

[chimpy]

Photographers, instead of buying costly zoom lenses, simply get nearer to the pyramid stage.

[Ed209]

To avoid a clash, don't go to anything

[Filthy]

Reading goers new to Glastonbury. Avoid lack of arena confusion by camping in the car parks. This way you will have as little to do at night as at Reading and can go misty eyed at being searched in and out each day.

[sifi]

Extra large ponchos make an excellent "family sized poncho" for dwarves.

[The Nal]

Brilliant. It's a brilliant update on the old "fun size mars bars" routine they used to do

[tazzyb]

Reading goers new to Glastonbury. Avoid lack of arena confusion by camping in the car parks. This way you will have as little to do at night as at Reading and can go misty eyed at being searched in and out each day.

[Hellborne]

Avoid watching any bands live at Glastonbury by taping your mobile phone over your eyes and recording everything to watch later. You can also help out others who don't really want to watch any bands live either by waving your mobile phone about in front of their faces too.

[Hellborne]

Pity Viz is shit now......

[Filthy]

Avoid getting lost. Simply turn left at every junction you come to. You can then retrace your steps by turning around and turning right at every junction.

[Chimps in Balaclavas]

Let your neighbours think you have gone to Glastonbury by packing all your stuff onto the roofrack of your car, then leaving early on a Wednesday, only to park your car a few roads away & then sneak back home to watch it on tele when they are out.

[sdaveak47]

Avoid watching any bands live at Glastonbury by taping your mobile phone over your eyes and recording everything to watch later. You can also help out others who don't really want to watch any bands live either by waving your mobile phone about in front of their faces too.

[toooldtoknowbetter]

Taking a flag? Don't bother, simply take 40000 blindfolds and hand them out to everyone behind you...

[Staberinde]

Insomniacs, in case you haven’t heard…….Bruce Springsteen is playing on the Saturday afternoon/evening/night

[jonbob]

Recreate that Glastonbury experience in your own home by getting a pal to turn your stereo volume up and down repeatedly, trample 300 pint-sized paper cups into your lounge carpet, don't flush the loo, then at 4am go to sleep in the fridge, then three hours later go to sleep in the oven.

[Filthy]

Confuse your campsite neighbours by bringing a flag and then slightly moving it periodically all weekend. If asked, claim it's not yours

[Homer]

Are you a stupid, annoying, unoriginal f**kwit? Then let everyone around you know by shouting the word "bollocks" as loud as you can every 10 seconds.

[Staberinde]

Confuse your campsite neighbours by bringing a flag and then slightly moving it periodically all weekend. If asked, claim it's not yours

[Filthy]

that reminds me - long storey short.

One year one of our mates was really off his head, one of us got back to camp early, un pegged his bell tent, turned it 180 degrees and pegged it in again.

No kidding, it was effing hilarious watching him on his hands and knee's 'stroking' the tent wall with the palm of his hands trying to find the door. One of those tears down the cheeks doubling up moments

[Curtains1]

Taking a flag? Don't bother, simply take 40000 blindfolds and hand them out to everyone behind you...

[ampersand]

then at 4am go to sleep in the fridge, then three hours later go to sleep in the oven.