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Where do all the cowpats go?


Guest Sam Crawley

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Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of a Glasto virgin question on the /index.php?showtopic=119547">other board, a mysterious point has come up - if Worthy Farm is a dairy farm for 9 months of the year, where do all the cowpats go? Are they washed away by the incessant West Country rain, or is something more sinister going on? Is the site in fact a secret weapons base used by Scouting for Girls to develop their lyrics, or worse? Maybe Jacqui Smith has a fourth home there?! I think we should be told! :angry:

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Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of a Glasto virgin question on the /index.php?showtopic=119547">other board, a mysterious point has come up - if Worthy Farm is a dairy farm for 9 months of the year, where do all the cowpats go? Are they washed away by the incessant West Country rain, or is something more sinister going on? Is the site in fact a secret weapons base used by Scouting for Girls to develop their lyrics, or worse? Maybe Jacqui Smith has a fourth home there?! I think we should be told! :angry:
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Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of a Glasto virgin question on the /index.php?showtopic=119547">other board, a mysterious point has come up - if Worthy Farm is a dairy farm for 9 months of the year, where do all the cowpats go? Are they washed away by the incessant West Country rain, or is something more sinister going on? Is the site in fact a secret weapons base used by Scouting for Girls to develop their lyrics, or worse? Maybe Jacqui Smith has a fourth home there?! I think we should be told! :angry:
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Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of a Glasto virgin question on the /index.php?showtopic=119547">other board, a mysterious point has come up - if Worthy Farm is a dairy farm for 9 months of the year, where do all the cowpats go? Are they washed away by the incessant West Country rain, or is something more sinister going on? Is the site in fact a secret weapons base used by Scouting for Girls to develop their lyrics, or worse? Maybe Jacqui Smith has a fourth home there?! I think we should be told! :lol:
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well i have it on good authority that the long drops are there all year round and that the cows have been taught to use them. The take there toilet paper and hoof soap and do there business and then carry on about their day.

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:):D Quite possibly but not all long drops....the ones on Worthy farm are the ones sunk into the ground. Anything off on someone elses farm are above ground level, ie the ones you go up steps to get to.

The ones on Worthy farm are good for cows...you ever seen a cow trying to climb the stairs to the long drops carrying bog paper and hoof soap? Not easy. Poor cows. :D

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It's a little known fact that the farm is actually as flat as a pancake. if you go out of festival time, there's no hill of death, no trudge upwards to the stone circle, it's one of nature's strangest phenomena, an absolutely flat expanse of farmland in the vale of Avalon.

Unfortunately, it was felt to be unsuitable for a mystical gathering such as Glastonbury, and meant that originally the whole site was more reminiscent of Knebworth bowl than the venue for a ramshackle, marvellous, choatic pop festival. In 1977, some of the countries top landscape gardeners were brought in secret to Worthy farm, there, around the kitchen table and with the help of countless glasses of farm milk, they hatched a plan. All of the cowpats were to be collected every year, and in the run up to the festival used to redesign the land, with hills, bumps, contours and the like. The hill of death alone requires the redistribution of 17 thousand tonnes of turds.

Until now, this plan has been top secret, and by speaking out, I've broken the code of omerde that binds us all together. This, i fear, may be my final posting, I believe they're already tracking me down, and as I type, I can hear furious landscapers, armed with rakes, battering at my door. Farewell, good festival goers....

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