What will your 'out of office' assistant say?

[norainplease]

Thanks for takin the time to write

and just to shed a little light

I'll reply next Tuesday hopefully thet's fine

But I'm currently at Glasto 2009

[phillchill]

My out of office thi syear will not matter I am being made redundant two days before Glasto. So I will be shaking all that corporate crap of at the place we love to go once a year and starting fresh when I return home.....If that is I / we decide to come home.:-)

[clockworkpurple]

Not really Glasto related but my out of office message usually consists of something along the lines of -

'I am out of the office until 30/06/09. If you are trying to contact me then please call my line manager on 01246 xxxxx. If you are called Cheryl Cole, my home phone number is 01246 xxxxxx'

[abu hamster]

Abu has left the building

Is what I would like it to say!

[Detective McNulty]

Detective McNulty is smashed on Ket. f**k off.

[Mr Ploppy]

mine would be...

"in the last few weeks I have been as useless as actually being out of the office - well you can blame Glasto for that. I now really am out of the office and will have the pleasure of ignoring all your emails, postal mail, texts, faxes, picture messages and phone calls for the next 5 days. Upon my return do not expect any sense of out me for at least a further 2 weeks".

[The Dawg]

Another one here in Local Authority!

I have to (try and) be professional and keep the message generic.

This year though I think I will add - (Look out for me on the telly)

[verrymerry]

I will be out of the office starting Wed 24/06/2009 and will not return until Wed 01/07/2009

I will respond to your message when I return. If this is an urgent matter regarding a case, can you telephone the duty social worker on 01623 ******

[sunnyshoes]

mine would be...

"in the last few weeks I have been as useless as actually being out of the office - well you can blame Glasto for that. I now really am out of the office and will have the pleasure of ignoring all your emails, postal mail, texts, faxes, picture messages and phone calls for the next 5 days. Upon my return do not expect any sense of out me for at least a further 2 weeks".

[dibbul]

It was not for Glasto but I worked with a 60 year old guy that had

I am out of the office for a week, if your query is urgent please try not to call early as I will be out clubbing with my father in the evenings

Made me smile....I think his father was 92.

Hope it gives someone inspiration.

[Neville Street]

My current favourites, which don't reference Glastonbury, but that are just great are:

"I am away from the degenerating chaos for a few days, unfortunately I have to return, and will do so on...." from a person who works in a large NHS Trust!

And "Your e-mail has been deleted. If it is important please send it again after XX July when I return to the office"

And "this mailbox received a large number of e-mails. Please do not assume that because you have pressed send that I have read and actioned your e-mail"

[Pilton]

On the Pilton site we have 'Gone to Glasto, be back Monday' on my office one I have...a really boring one, exept to my boss which say's 'Haha you're at work, I'm not...see you next week'

But her her reply is 'Haha, saved the crappy one's for you' she finds that very amusing

[Randy Pan]

I'm at Glasto. You're not. Leave a message. Try not to swear.

[shineongas]

Currently in my 51st year, the assistant will say that I'm away from my desk until Tuesday 30/06 or I'll forget to add the rule. Boring perhaps but in 1994 I took the family to Florida for the first time.

Innocently my rule stated that I couldn't reply for 14 days because I'd gone to see Mickey Mouse as I didn't realise it was for external consumption.

Working for a local authority and receiving enquiries from local councillors and MP's regarding their constituents rehousing applications I returned to a total and utter bollocking from all the managers in the food chain above me. Lesson learnt!

[markeee]

am i one of the few who arent working for the government?

just 'currently out of the office, back on xx, if urgent contact person.'

[Al the CAT]

i also work for the government and i need to involve glasto somehow but also formula 1the weekend before need some advice

Edited June 5, 2009 by Al the CAT

[tylerdurden]

From the thread title, I thought "Out of office Assistant" was some sort of euphamism for the mistress of a businessman.

[Redcanadahat]

anyone got any new ones??

[Craig_G]

"On annual leave from my senses. See you on the other side."

[evansonuk]

Dave is Dead - he asked me to let you know he hated you. x

[clarem040783]

What I would like to put:

I am now out of the office, returning on Wednesday, 1 July 2009. I will not be contactable during this period as I will be mashed beyond belief at Glastonbury having the time of my life away from you f***ers!

What I will end up putting:

I am now out of the office, returning on Wednesday 1 July 2009. In my absence please contact ****** who will be dealing with my files, post, emails and calls.

[xploit]

My out of office reply is set to:

I am currently on Annual Leave until 4th July, I will endeavour to reply to your E-Mails as soon as possible - that is unless I remain stuck in the mud at Glastonbury...

[TheBoyInTheBubble]

I received a dressing down from our HR Department about being unprofessional etc for my out-of-office message last year, so this year I am going to toe the party line.

All it said was that I was out of the office "and whilst my tent at Glastonbury is water-proof, it doesn't have anywhere to plug in a laptop so I won't be able to check my emails. Therefore could you please in touch with..."

[KingKolo]

i work for the government too! *high 5* lol how will you mention glasto in yours?

[clockworkpurple]

I received a dressing down from our HR Department about being unprofessional etc for my out-of-office message last year, so this year I am going to toe the party line.

All it said was that I was out of the office "and whilst my tent at Glastonbury is water-proof, it doesn't have anywhere to plug in a laptop so I won't be able to check my emails. Therefore could you please in touch with..."