Fizzy2734 Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 2 nuns at a traffic lights when a vampire jumps onto the bonnnet of the car and starts snarling. "What should we do sister asumpta?" Asks one nun. "just lean out and show him your cross" she replies. Acknowledging she leans out the window "f**k off you stupid c**t and piss off home, your scratching the paintwork" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pothead pixie Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 Whats white and blue and swings through the jungle? A fridge with a denim jacket on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamabeater89 Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 What do you call a Ned in a fridge? Solid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kowalski Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 The big cloud of dust that has closed all airports has been traced to the man cleaning Hearts trophy cabinet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigstevo Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 A man walks into a bar, say's ooyah! It was an iron bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Hart Digital Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 what do you call a drummer without a girlfriend homeless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
preacherman_1 Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 Is it too early for jokes about Iceland???? Oh well, guess we should wait for the dust to settle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackg1000 Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 What's the difference between an Icelandic volcano and Cheryl Cole? The volcano is still blowing ash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
preacherman_1 Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 Husband say to his wife, want to play a rape game? She says "No!" He says "That's the spirit!" ------------------------------ I was having dinner with MC Hammer and Chico the other night when I asked them for the time. It was absolute carnage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kowalski Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 A guy and a gal are making out in the back seat of their car... She says "Billy, I want you to kiss me!" So Billy kisses her. After a while she says "Billy, I want you to kiss me somewhere wet!" So he does. After a while she says "Billy, I want you to kiss me somewhere wet and smelly!" So he starts the car... She says "What are you doing?" And he says "I'm taking you to Elgin!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkylad Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 what do you call a black pussy? coont what do you get when you cross down syndrome with potassium? special k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fauldhouse Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 What do you call a Ned in a fridge? Solid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eh Ah Ken Posted April 22, 2010 Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 whats brown and sticky??? Anal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kowalski Posted April 22, 2010 Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 Good to see racism is alive and well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tweemo freak Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 What do u call a drug for chickens? Eggstacy ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackg1000 Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 What do you call a black guy that has lost 30 stone? Lenny Henry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fizzy2734 Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 An irish fella takes his mates back to see his new flat and after a few more beers asks him, whats the big brass gong hanging on the wall? Paddy says its my speaking clock, how does it work?, i'll show you. He hits it full pelt with a claw hammer and a voice from next door yells.............. "For f**ks sake you c**t, its twenty to three in the morning!!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu150 Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 What's the fastest Town in Scotland? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn What's the bouncyest town in Scotland Aboyne What's the shortest town in Scotland Insch I'm so easily amused!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eh Ah Ken Posted April 24, 2010 Report Share Posted April 24, 2010 im surprised there hasn't been a jew joke yet. around here all people seem to tell is jew jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
preacherman_1 Posted April 24, 2010 Report Share Posted April 24, 2010 what do you call a jew flying a plane? ....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackg1000 Posted April 24, 2010 Report Share Posted April 24, 2010 A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tweemo freak Posted April 24, 2010 Report Share Posted April 24, 2010 im surprised there hasn't been a jew joke yet. around here all people seem to tell is jew jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyelo Posted April 24, 2010 Report Share Posted April 24, 2010 Look at the topic description ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kowalski Posted April 24, 2010 Report Share Posted April 24, 2010 The Germans proved the Jews were flammable though *making sharp exit* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyelo Posted April 24, 2010 Report Share Posted April 24, 2010 It's not funny. My great-grandfather died at a concentration camp. He fell off a watchtower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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