Efests Recipe Book

[BlackHole2006]

Frozen Fish and Chips.

Ingredients:

Youngs frozen cod, or haddock(from Sainsburys)

McCain over chips (Also from Sainsburys)

Heinz Tomato Ketchup (Optional)

How to prepare:

Put the frozen fish in the freezer as soon as you take it home, do the same to the chips. Wait for a couple of hours. Take them both out of the freezer. Put the fish in the oven first. Wait for 12 minutes. Then put the chips in the oven. Wait for another 12 minutes. Get the fish and the chips out of the oven. Put fish and chips on plate. Put plate on tray. Squirt optional tomato ketchup on the side of the fish and chips. Or on the chips. Depending on taste. Go to lounge. Put on television. Watch some crappy TV programme like Takeshi's Castle. Eat.

[ampersand]

We need to start taking pictures of the finished dishes.

i sometimes tweet my evening meals. my followers are so lucky.

[RABun]

When it comes to cooking meaty saucy dishes like the chilli Jump does in his slow cooker, the method i normally follow is...

fry off dry spices first, followed by onions, garlic, and wet spices if you get what i mean, ginger chillis etc.

then fry off the meat, ideally you would do this in batches to stop from boiling it in its own juices. then add the saucy ingredients and any vegetables and cover and simmer for a couple of hours.

'm not sure about the cornmeal as i've never used it. probably ok to follow as Jump says and put it in gradually during the cooking process.

[treacle]

TABLET ALERT! TABLET ALERT!

Wheres Treacle???

3/4 tin of light condensed milk.

But what size of tin... theres about 3 different sizes..just about to walk into town for the ingredients as well. Bugger.

Well, I`ll buy a big tin anyway and wait for the authors attendence....

den

I use nestle carnation light condensed milk which I have only seen in 405g tins.

Please please don't use greaseproof paper/ baking parchment! You will spend forever peeling it off the tablet!

[treacle]

My first attempt at Tablet ended in disaster - I think I cooked it too long and it ended up lookng like a pan of Muscavdo sugar!!!

I will try again

Remember it has to be a very heavy pot you use. not point in repeating it if you've got thin based pots. borrow a cast iron one from someone .....and keep the heat down low!

[ampersand]

I use nestle carnation light condensed milk which I have only seen in 405g tins.

didn't you listen to dan le sac?

[rachbon]

Just grease the tray. No paper needed. You'll spend ages trying to peel it off if you do!

right. you feel very strongly about the paper so i will NOT use paper

i'm going to buy all the stuff and a pot next week, i've never made anything like this before so i just hope it works! i don't know how i'll be able to tell if the pot has a thick bottom though

[gratedenini]

didn't you listen to dan le sac?

Eh?

right. you feel very strongly about the paper so i will NOT use paper

i'm going to buy all the stuff and a pot next week, i've never made anything like this before so i just hope it works! i don't know how i'll be able to tell if the pot has a thick bottom though

This recipe isn`t the most fool-proof and although it sounds easy... it is also easy to cock it up.

You will know if its the right pan when you cant pick it up with one hand. You are gonna be having to spend a lot of money to get such a pan.

With no disrespect to Treac (and you)... maybe think twice!

Good Luck

den

[nightcrawler13]

chickpea based things anyone?

[Ed209]

chickpea based things anyone?

Yeah, put the hob on hot and add a bit of butter to a frying pan. take one portion of chickpeas, place in the bin, and put a steak in the frying pan

[rachbon]

This recipe isn`t the most fool-proof and although it sounds easy... it is also easy to cock it up.

You will know if its the right pan when you cant pick it up with one hand. You are gonna be having to spend a lot of money to get such a pan.

With no disrespect to Treac (and you)... maybe think twice!

Good Luck

den

naw i'm going to try it! cause rexclark loves tablet so i want to make some for him. and i need a new pot anyway to make soup in.

Yeah, put the hob on hot and add a bit of butter to a frying pan. take one portion of chickpeas, place in the bin, and put a steak in the frying pan

very good.

[gratedenini]

Yeah, put the hob on hot and add a bit of butter to a frying pan. take one portion of chickpeas, place in the bin, and put a steak in the frying pan

LMCO.

brilliant.

den

[RABun]

Chick peas

Aubergine, corgette, cherry toms, olives, lemon slices, cumin, ground coriander, vegetable stock, chillis and a can of chick peas salt and pepper too.

Throw everything into a casserole and oven cook for about an hour. Seve with cous cous.

You can brown off some chicken thighs too and lay them on top of the casserole to cook through too if you're not a veggie.

[ampersand]

Eh?

43 seconds. innit!

Edited October 11, 2010 by ampersand

[nightcrawler13]

43 seconds. innit!

i'd say 45 seconds in

but yea, Nestle are evil

[ampersand]

i'd say 45 seconds in

but yea, Nestle are evil

yeah but needed to get the coca cola bit in too. pepsi ftw!

[gratedenini]

yeah but needed to get the coca cola bit in too. pepsi ftw!

Right, gotcha. I`m just not on the same level as you. Thankfully

Nestles... so what we gonna be using then? Is Lidls own acceptable?

But I suppose its still quite near to Nestles eh?

den

[ampersand]

Right, gotcha. I`m just not on the same level as you. Thankfully

Nestles... so what we gonna be using then? Is Lidls own acceptable?

But I suppose its still quite near to Nestles eh?

den

nah i've eaten nerds in the past month. and aero ice cream. i just try not to, cos that's a braw song.

[gratedenini]

Let THE TABLET begin.....

den

[minute5072]

Flapjacks!

Melt 40g of butter and 60g marg (roughly) in a pan

Once its melted, add 80g brown sugar, 2 tablespoons of honey (or golden syrup depending on what you prefer) and stir until it becomes a kind of brown paste

Slowly mix 250g of porridge oats into the mixture, stirring in while you do

Once it's all mixed together spoon it into a greased tray/pan and smooth it out with a knife.

Stick it in a preheated oven (220C) for 15 minutes until it starts to go crispy on top.

Take it out of the oven, score it into squares and leave it in the fridge to set.

Enjoy

NOM NOM NOM

[gratedenini]

Tablet Report.... cough and splutter.... O LORDY MAMA.

Well, its turned out in appearance,colour and texture something like I would have expected.

Its certainly not an "easy" 1star thing to attempt tbh esp with the boiling which could easily go wrong. I used a pressure cooker as my pan which was fine.

If there was one thing in the recipe that was giving me concern was the amount of sugar... 2 pounds is a lot of sugar... and so its proved.

You really do have to have the sweetest of tooths for this.

I made a standard size tray and cut it into 18 squares... and it says something when me daughter says... dad, I cant eat any more...after only a quarter!

It is very sweet..sweet enough for the old nonce on Family Guy to lure the most doubting of children to his abode I`d venture.

I wont be making it again... dunno what I gonna do with all this f**kin treacle now.... good fun though. I enjoy cooking.

den

[ampersand]

Tablet Report.... cough and splutter.... O LORDY MAMA.

Well, its turned out in appearance,colour and texture something like I would have expected.

Its certainly not an "easy" 1star thing to attempt tbh esp with the boiling which could easily go wrong. I used a pressure cooker as my pan which was fine.

If there was one thing in the recipe that was giving me concern was the amount of sugar... 2 pounds is a lot of sugar... and so its proved.

You really do have to have the sweetest of tooths for this.

I made a standard size tray and cut it into 18 squares... and it says something when me daughter says... dad, I cant eat any more...after only a quarter!

It is very sweet..sweet enough for the old nonce on Family Guy to lure the most doubting of children to his abode I`d venture.

I wont be making it again... dunno what I gonna do with all this f**kin treacle now.... good fun though. I enjoy cooking.

den

you could use the treacle on more tablet and send it my way?

[gratedenini]

you could use the treacle on more tablet and send it my way?

Yer more than welcome to visit young fella me lad...I got plenty of beds (and f**kin treacle)..i got a bit of green left too.

I could tell you about the 60s and 70s and show you how to drink Port...and when you fell asleep, I watch over you through the crack in the door.

Otherwise... I`ll post the f**kin tablet to yer..as long as you pay the postage... wether they will allow such sugar laden goods over the border now, I`m not too sure.

Is Treacle a Jockistan? If so --she should have put a f**kin Health Warning on that recipe for us English folk

man tall den blue man

(re-arrange these four words to find a famous w*nker)

[treacle]

Tablet Report.... cough and splutter.... O LORDY MAMA.

Well, its turned out in appearance,colour and texture something like I would have expected.

Its certainly not an "easy" 1star thing to attempt tbh esp with the boiling which could easily go wrong. I used a pressure cooker as my pan which was fine.

If there was one thing in the recipe that was giving me concern was the amount of sugar... 2 pounds is a lot of sugar... and so its proved.

You really do have to have the sweetest of tooths for this.

I made a standard size tray and cut it into 18 squares... and it says something when me daughter says... dad, I cant eat any more...after only a quarter!

It is very sweet..sweet enough for the old nonce on Family Guy to lure the most doubting of children to his abode I`d venture.

I wont be making it again... dunno what I gonna do with all this f**kin treacle now.... good fun though. I enjoy cooking.

den

I suppose it's my fault that folk don't realise a recipe with 2lb sugar, golden syrup and condensed milk is gonna be sweet before they make it!

If you cut it into 18 squares it's no wonder your wee one couldn't eat it all. One batch keeps efest camp going for 2 days usually!

Oh...and why do you have treacle left? There's no treacle in my recipe!!!!!

[gratedenini]

I suppose it's my fault that folk don't realise a recipe with 2lb sugar, golden syrup and condensed milk is gonna be sweet before they make it!

If you cut it into 18 squares it's no wonder your wee one couldn't eat it all. One batch keeps efest camp going for 2 days usually!

Oh...and why do you have treacle left? There's no treacle in my recipe!!!!!

Golden Syrup I meant! Must have been thinking of you!

My wee one? She`s 24!

Actually, now I think about it...as i peruse over the remaining dozen or so Squares left (I made Hollie take some back for her mates at hospital)... they would be great munchies fodder I suppose.

But I`d need a lot of green to devour this lot on me own!

Eeeee lad... you young uns...

den