Oafish v No1 on Ready Steady Cook!....

[gratedenini]

Ainsley Harriot... "Right folks, today,battling to be the Ready Steady Cook champine we have two headstrong people with very different opinions.

Firstly we have Barry Oafish, a self-styled internet millionaire and raconteur who`s daughter is to be a future Prime Minister folks!!!"

(audience prompt..... WHHHHHOOOOOOOO!)Nod from Oafish to camera 2.

"Up against him is No1, an ideologistic internet guru who list his interests as arguing and arguing and saying c**t! Dont worry folks..we`ll cut that out later!"

Ladies and Gentlemen... Oafish and No1" (applause)

"Right lads... what have you got for us today... Oafish?"

(bag upturns on the table....)

"Well Aisley, today I`ve brought 5kilos of Monkfish Tails and some Caviar Jus, 6 Wild Boar Truffles,a dozen tickets for the next World Cup Finals,24 bottles of pre-made baby milk and the keys to an Aston Martin"

"Good,smashin... but there is a limit of £5 Oafish!"

"I dont care...I just want to beat that c**t over there!",

"Right, well, we`ll see what Jamie can make of those in a minute but lets get over to No1 to see what he`s brought!"

(bag turns out on table)

"Well Ainsley yer twat.... I`ve brought £140 cos I`m f**kin sick of bastards like you making good at the expense of others and earning over the average wage. So I`ve brought £140 to buy takeaways! And that 4 eyed twat over there with his pre-made milk and Caviar Jus.. where can yer get that in Warrington eh?"

CUT! CUT!

Would it be much different to that? Well?

den

[OneLittleFish]

Can't we just have Pogo instead?

[eFestivals]

Would it be much different to that? Well?

Yep, it would. Oafish would actually believe he'd bought all of that with a fiver. After all, people on benefits are living a lifestyle just like him.

[sifi]

Great work!

[The Nal]

[Steve P]

The ammount of swearing going on would make Gordon Ramsey look like he belonged on CBeebies

[rachbon]

[rexclark]

Den, you have been on top form today. Must be all that sitting around watching Monarch Of The Glen.

[Greeny_Musicchild]

excellent.

[dakyras]

Den is probably the highest +'d person on the forums, and well deserved after that!

[Pogues Mcgogues]

Can't we just have Pogo instead?

[gratedenini]

Pogo doesn't post here anymore!

[ampersand]

12 +1's. whit?

[Pogues Mcgogues]

Everybody..... sing....

Rolls Royce

You abandoned me

Pogo doesn`t post here anymore

Just a vancancy

Pogo doesn`t post here anymore

When you lived inside of me

There was nothing I could conceieve

That you wouldn't do for me

Trouble seemed so far away

You changed that right away, baby

You abandoned me

Pogo doesn`t post here anymore

Just a vancancy

Pogo doesn`t post here anymore

Pogo doesn`t post here anymore

Just emptiness and memories

Of what we had before

You went away

Found another place to stay, another home

You abandoned me

Pogo doesn`t post here anymore

Just a vancancy

Pogo doesn`t post here anymore

Den 1970s

[gratedenini]

Do you like my new username Uncle Dennis?