Foir the Serious Chocolate Lovers

[RABun]

Become a Taste Assistant For Green & Blacks

Sorry its in london

[bunique]

Who minus-1'd you for this?

[ampersand]

me!

[saratink]

I didn't minus but it did get my hopes up

[RABun]

you bastards - i was up to plus 10 last time i looked, i'd gone from neutral to good. was all pleased with myself for being an all round good egg, booo :angry:

[ampersand]

you bastards - i was up to plus 10 last time i looked, i'd gone from neutral to good. was all pleased with myself for being an all round good egg, booo :angry:

[RABun]

dinnae make shite threads then

[rachbon]

green and blacks is my favourite chocolate

i wouldn't like a job tasting any food that i like though, it wouldn't really be the same if it's a job.

f**k knows why you got -4.

[bunique]

green and blacks is my favourite chocolate

i wouldn't like a job tasting any food that i like though, it wouldn't really be the same if it's a job.

f**k knows why you got -4.

[ampersand]

Well oaf has at least two logins

[saratink]

This was in the mirror yesterday! Aparently you got a good chance of getting the job if you've got a food science degree lol

[ampersand]

This was in the mirror yesterday! Aparently you got a good chance of getting the job if you've got a food science degree lol

[saratink]

i -1'd you thinking you were rabun. apologies!

green and blacks is rubbish though. i hate fancy chocolate. dairy milk or galaxy and i'm happy!

[ampersand]

These are my favorite

They taste like heaven when you suck them and let them melt in your mouth

[saratink]

i mind when they were handing them out on princes street. i managed to bag myself about 5 of them good for free, but i wouldn't buy them.

[ampersand]

plus they're about £4 a box

[saratink]

I think i've died and gone to heaven. Word's got round that Green & Black's, the makers of really, really tasty chocolate, are advertisting for a taste assistant.

Let's just get this straight. According to the job description, this requires eating - sorry, I mean 'tasting' - heroic amounts of chocolate, developing new flavours, and travelling all over the world to source the best ingredients. And you get paid for it.

It has to be, without doubt, the best job in the world. Ever. Now, I like chocolate, alot. My sickness threshold is high. I can eat loads without feeling queasy. I've tried and fallen in love with every brand i can think of, and as far as inventing new flavours goes, well, thats easy. EVERYTHING goes well with chocolate.

My fingers shake as I apply for the job online. And a few days later I weep with joy as I learn I've got an interview. My preparation is different from any other job i've ever applied for. My research on the company involves eating lots of their chocolate - and others too, for good measure.

So, arriving at the green & blacks central London headquaters in posh Mayfair, I feel confident. My passion alone will land it for me. I've been told by the company's head of taste,, Micah Carr-Hill, to bring a bag of ingredients for the innovation part of the interview where I'll be asked to invent my own bar of chocolate.

Seeing as Micah will be my boss, I decide to start off on the right foot and dilidently shop for innovative ingredients. But before i even get to taste any of the brown stuff, Micah insists on sitting me down and grilling me about my in-depth knowledge of it.

Suddenly, he's throwing really hard questions at me and asking about my taste buds. Since when was this an interview for a job in biology?

Micah's been the head of taste since 1999 and has been responsible for developing new flavours, including his personal favorite, almond. Now his workload has become so big, he needs a hand and wants to make the right decision. "Someone coming into a job like this would usually have a food science degree, like I have." he says. "But i didn't want to restrict it to that, partly because that doesn't necessarily mean you have a real passion for food. So I wanted to open it up. But we want to get the perfect person.

"There are 3 things i'm looking for. Firstly, the right applicant must be able to taste and discern between different tastes and flavours. Secondly, they've got to be creative. Lastly, we're a small team, so they've got to able able to fit in. Personality is very important. You've got to be very confident to express your opinion so when you're challenged about a recipe you're developing, you can stand up for it."

Well, how am i supposed to know what a super taster is? I'll never forget Micah's face cringing as I wrongly suggest 'Madagascan?' is one of the 3 types of cocoa bean.

"Thats not really a veriety, is it?" He asks, bemused. No, quite, it's a country.

The excitedment must be getting to me. The answer is trinitario - what green & blacks use, and the rarest of the worlds beans, accounting for just 3%, Rgeb tgeres criollo and the most commonly use, forastero. Next, I'm asked what contient grows the most. "I know this!" I say excitedly, "South America!".

I wait for Micah's eyes to light up as he mentally gives me the job, but instead they cloud over and he shakes his head. I venture another answer. "Africa?" Micah reluctantly gives me a half point.

After 10 minutes, Micahs looking more irriated and I can see my dream job melting from my grasp. "Chocolate is one of the most complex foods around" he says. "It's got more than 400 different flavours." With that, we move onto the next round, and after what feels like hours, I get to try some chocolate.

About time. Micah has pre-mixed some special batches of chocolate with special ingredients that i'll need to detect in a blind taste test. I put on my eye mask, take a bite and it tastes like..chocolate.

"I can't taste anything else" I plead to micah after my 5th mouthful.

Even with clues - "there are 2 flavours, a spice and a herb, and they're related" I still have no idea.

Turns out it was corriander seed and plant. Well, silly flavours for chocolate anyway, if you ask me. And i don't fare much better with the second taste test, even though it's much stronger.

I correctly guess safron, but only after Micah says its from a flower.

"But you can regonise it, right? Its very strong" He asks. I nod enthusiastically, but i haven't got a clue. I'm no closer to identifying the other flavour, so Micah tells me: tomato.

Now i'm worried. this job has my name all over it but Micahs interviewing is making me feel like i was born without taste buds. I need to pull out all the stops for the 3rd round - inventing my own flavour.

I empty the contents of my ingredients bag - curry powder (well, its the nations most popular dish, after all) a jar of marmite, some lemons and miringue (i love lemone miringe pie) and a box of ameretti biscuits, a tin of grapefruit, some mango, walnuts and cashew nuts.

The wet ingredients can't be used as "water is chocolates worst enemy", micah explains. But for the first time during our intervie, he looks mildly impressed. Curry powder "could work" he says, cashews "probably wouldn't because the flavour struggles to come through" and walnuts go rancid too easily, So in the end, i choose lemon zest, meringue and amaretti biscuits, for a lemon meringue pie flavour bar, with milk chocolate.

Michar teaches me how to tempar chocolate, which s treating it so that it's shiny and snaps. Essentially, its melting it down so you can re-form it into another chocolate bar.

I add broken meringue, biscuits and lemon zest to the melted chocolate and then pour 3 bars worth into their chocolate bar moulds. It will take 30 minutes to set, so Micah asks if i've got any questions.

"How much chocolate do you get to eat?" I ask. Michan thinks, "I probably get through 50g to 100g a day", he tells me.

I try to hide my dissapointment, by asking about pay. " for the right candidate, we'll pay up to £35,000.

Wow, by my calculations that means i can earn up to £1.35 for every gram of chocolate that passes my lips.

And when we take a look around Micahs laboritory, my resolve to get this job goes to a new level. Its a cross between Aladdins cave and willy wonkas factory with chocolate stacked to the roof. I've never have to leave the office!!

Are you sure just really really liking chocolate isn't enough?

"Its not just about loving chocolate, its about loving food in general" Says Micah. "You really need to care about flavours, have a good taste memory and a good imagination."

Its the perfect point at whcih to unveil my new chocolate bar. Micah turns the moulds over and the 3 bars fall on the work surface. I secretly cross my fingers behind my back. "Mmmm!" Says Micah, "it works really well!" I have a taste and have to agree. Phew i've passed at least one stage. "so when do i start?" I ask as Micah ushers me out.

He looks uncomfortable. "Well, your chocolates good, but you didnt annswer the questions correctly. And the taste test, well.. I'll be in touch"

Despite me being the obvious choice, something tells me Micah disagrees. Theres only one thing for it. As i traspe home, i buy several bars to drown my sorrows.