singles thread

[amy246]

Need second date ideas! I've arranged to see this girl I went out with last week on Saturday, and I was going to say a walk round the silent pool (a pond by newlands corner in Surrey) and then go to see Insidious at the cinema (she likes horror films), but the film's not on after tomorrow, and there's nothing else on worth watching (not that Insidious is supposed to be brilliant!) so now I'm stuck for the second part, all I know is a meal isn't an option. Help!

Try something like bowling, quasar, etc - i know it may be a bit 'teen' however it's activity you can do together, plus unlike the cinema you can talk and get to know each other better.

[jump]

Need second date ideas! I've arranged to see this girl I went out with last week on Saturday, and I was going to say a walk round the silent pool (a pond by newlands corner in Surrey) and then go to see Insidious at the cinema (she likes horror films), but the film's not on after tomorrow, and there's nothing else on worth watching (not that Insidious is supposed to be brilliant!) so now I'm stuck for the second part, all I know is a meal isn't an option. Help!

The Science Museum does adult nights on Wednesday if you want brownie points for being original and Newlands Corner is Guildford (?) so you could try Kingston for some cheap bands. I'd just go drinking with her and see where it goes myself.

Edited May 18, 2011 by jump

[rexclark]

The Science Museum does adult nights on Wednesday

I don't know if an "adult night" is appropriate for a second date. Third at best.

[Lithium05]

The Science Museum does adult nights on Wednesday if you want brownie points for being original and Newlands Corner is Guildford (?) so you could try Kingston for some cheap bands. I'd just go drinking with her and see where it goes myself.

Well drinking isn't really an option seeing as neither of us drink. Turns out she's got an essay she needs to finish this weekend so doesn't have much free time so we're just going for a walk around newlands corner, and might nip into a nearby cafe for a non-alcoholic beverage

[spwan-of-the-devil]

Need second date ideas! I've arranged to see this girl I went out with last week on Saturday, and I was going to say a walk round the silent pool (a pond by newlands corner in Surrey) and then go to see Insidious at the cinema (she likes horror films), but the film's not on after tomorrow, and there's nothing else on worth watching (not that Insidious is supposed to be brilliant!) so now I'm stuck for the second part, all I know is a meal isn't an option. Help!

Bowling and Beer!

[jump]

Girls are weird, last night a random girl came upto me and asked me to dance so we danced and the entire time she kept accusing me of wanting to f**k a group of girls who I hadn't even noticed, even when I said I wasn't she accused me of being a liar.

[feral chile]

Girls are weird, last night a random girl came upto me and asked me to dance so we danced and the entire time she kept accusing me of wanting to f**k a group of girls who I hadn't even noticed, even when I said I wasn't she accused me of being a liar.

This girl's a little weird. Sounds like she was fishing. And sounds like you didn't give the answer she wanted. But you might not have got anywhere if you had, she might have just been attention seeking.

Either way, she was screaming insecurity.

[jump]

This girl's a little weird. Sounds like she was fishing. And sounds like you didn't give the answer she wanted. But you might not have got anywhere if you had, she might have just been attention seeking.

Either way, she was screaming insecurity.

Pretty much my thoughts, I just walked away as I really can't be bothered dealing with the insane.

[Gre]

Pretty much my thoughts, I just walked away as I really can't be bothered dealing with the insane.

Correct decision. Either she was on something, or a little wrong in the head.

[brighteyes]

One of my friends slept with a girl he met in a club once, and the next morning she was going on about how so many boys had messed her about, and how he was 'the one'. Then she started talking about marriage, apparently. I laughed so much when he told me this. Gotta avoid girls like that...

p.s. i turned down sex today

[jump]

Christ my confidence is shot low at the moment, I was in a coffee shop and I spotted a girl checking me out and even when I was standing next to her in line I couldn't go forward to make the empty conversation to get her name/number which I've done in the same place & circumstances before and the cause of my low confidence is a shit haircut I got last week so I can't mingle for another 2 weeks now till my hair grows back.

Edited June 1, 2011 by jump

[spwan-of-the-devil]

Christ my confidence is shot low at the moment, I was in a coffee shop and I spotted a girl checking me out and even when I was standing next to her in line I couldn't go forward to make the empty conversation to get her name/number which I've done in the same place & circumstances before and the cause of my low confidence is a shit haircut I got last week so I can't mingle for another 2 weeks now till my hair grows back.

Yeah I know that feeling I know what I can attract just need a banker so to speak for the confidence so I can ask out the one who I really like but im not asking her out with everyone around.. Did talk to her the other week again just in genral which helped and I got a smile again off her

Going out on sat for my birthday down the pub so will see what that brings Then Download

[ampersand]

Christ my confidence is shot low at the moment, I was in a coffee shop and I spotted a girl checking me out and even when I was standing next to her in line I couldn't go forward to make the empty conversation to get her name/number which I've done in the same place & circumstances before and the cause of my low confidence is a shit haircut I got last week so I can't mingle for another 2 weeks now till my hair grows back.

welcome to my world!

[Snufflebutt]

Christ my confidence is shot low at the moment, I was in a coffee shop and I spotted a girl checking me out and even when I was standing next to her in line I couldn't go forward to make the empty conversation to get her name/number which I've done in the same place & circumstances before and the cause of my low confidence is a shit haircut I got last week so I can't mingle for another 2 weeks now till my hair grows back.

Was just looking for an excuse to bring this thread back to its rightful place on the frontpage

My confidence is so low, I'm not even sure if I could be certain a girl was checking me out - I'd probably just think 'nah' and not think anything about approaching her. I'm back on POF trying to get girls to answer my bloody messages. Spent ages working on my profile and have received 0 replies in 1 year of being on the site

[Lithium05]

3rd date with the girl I met on POF on Wednesday, it's been a while coming though, due to festivals and other schedule conflicts.

My main concern at the moment is that I'm almost certain I'm not the only one in the picture, and due to my crippling self esteem issues I can't see why I would be anyone's choice if they had options.

I've been constanty trying to convince myself that if that was going to be the case, she wouldn't keep agreeing to see me! Really need to get out of my head on this one!

[Jaybles]

3rd date with the girl I met on POF on Wednesday, it's been a while coming though, due to festivals and other schedule conflicts.

My main concern at the moment is that I'm almost certain I'm not the only one in the picture, and due to my crippling self esteem issues I can't see why I would be anyone's choice if they had options.

I've been constanty trying to convince myself that if that was going to be the case, she wouldn't keep agreeing to see me! Really need to get out of my head on this one!

Hey man....keep your head up. She is lucky to be dating you.

If i was gay i would do you.

Lets get your confidence up!

[Snufflebutt]

3rd date with the girl I met on POF on Wednesday, it's been a while coming though, due to festivals and other schedule conflicts.

My main concern at the moment is that I'm almost certain I'm not the only one in the picture, and due to my crippling self esteem issues I can't see why I would be anyone's choice if they had options.

I've been constanty trying to convince myself that if that was going to be the case, she wouldn't keep agreeing to see me! Really need to get out of my head on this one!

You said it yourself. Have you stopped the search on POF? Maybe if you don't you won't feel as worried about her seeing other folk at the same time? Just a thought...

[jump]

3rd date with the girl I met on POF on Wednesday, it's been a while coming though, due to festivals and other schedule conflicts.

My main concern at the moment is that I'm almost certain I'm not the only one in the picture, and due to my crippling self esteem issues I can't see why I would be anyone's choice if they had options.

I've been constanty trying to convince myself that if that was going to be the case, she wouldn't keep agreeing to see me! Really need to get out of my head on this one!

Don't focus on the negatives and focus on the postives. Do you make her laugh, do you get decent conversations, does she care what you think about if the awnser is yes then just remember that.

[jump]

Was just looking for an excuse to bring this thread back to its rightful place on the frontpage

My confidence is so low, I'm not even sure if I could be certain a girl was checking me out - I'd probably just think 'nah' and not think anything about approaching her. I'm back on POF trying to get girls to answer my bloody messages. Spent ages working on my profile and have received 0 replies in 1 year of being on the site

I hate internet dating. I got a few responses and dates when I did it, just try to have a bit of personality in your profile (not a spec of your life/list of stuff) and have a few open conversation starters but if I was you I'd just go out and mingle in the real world as it cuts out all this other bullshit as I've met girls and they were nothing like what they seemed when messaging.

Edited June 22, 2011 by jump

[Snufflebutt]

I hate internet dating, I got a few responses and dates when I did just try to have a bit of personality in your profile (not a specs of your life/list of stuff) and have a few open conversation starters but if I was you I'd just go out and mingle in the real world it's cut out all this other bullshit as I've met girls and they were nothing like they seemed when messaging.

Yeah, thats what I've been trying to do, I think me going on to POF is my way of making myself proactively look for a girlfriend. Met a couple of girls recently, but they always seem to be going away for long periods of time not long after I meet them . Hey ho, I've got a dissertation to write anyway, so women shouldnt really concern me too much at this time.

[Purple Monkey]

I hate internet dating. I got a few responses and dates when I did it, just try to have a bit of personality in your profile (not a spec of your life/list of stuff) and have a few open conversation starters but if I was you I'd just go out and mingle in the real world as it cuts out all this other bullshit as I've met girls and they were nothing like what they seemed when messaging

So true. I demand to see them immediately so that I can analyse them coldly and determine how much of their profile is absolute bullshit. Some girls put out some f**king lies on their online profiles. Some girls just have a pretty picture and no profile, and that's all they need and the cock comes swarming around them. It's infuriating being a bloke in today's world.

[feral chile]

To you guys who're suffering a dip in confidence, I'd say just show an interest - a genuine interest - in any girls you meet. That's much more attractive than some cocky little git who's totally self absorbed. It'll also have the effect of making you less self conscious, as you'll be focusing your attention away from yourselves.

Edited June 23, 2011 by feral chile

[onemangang]

i dont give two f**ks about no woman, i let them come to me. just because 1 checks you out doesn't mean you have to act on it. all u want out of a girl mainly is sex, if your looking for some deep relationship fair play make an effort. but dont go out of your way, women come an go.

[jump]

To you guys who're suffering a dip in confidence, I'd say just show an interest - a genuine interest - in any girls you meet. That's much more attractive than some cocky little git who's totally self absorbed. It'll also have the effect of making you less self conscious, as you'll be focusing your attention away from yourselves.

I agree with the sentiment as I always found the most fun part of dating is finding out various tidbits about them and I've learnt/done new things I otherwise wouldn't but I think you're missing a beat of how to meet girls in the 1st place. The reason good looks/make overs works is not do with looking better but becuase they give you the edge and makes you feel better which leads to having the confidence to generate more chance meeting with girls in the 1st place.

[feral chile]

I agree with the sentiment as I always found the most fun part of dating is finding out various tidbits about them and I've learnt/done new things I otherwise wouldn't but I think you're missing a beat of how to meet girls in the 1st place. The reason good looks/make overs works is not do with looking better but becuase they give you the edge and makes you feel better which leads to having the confidence to generate more chance meeting with girls in the 1st place.

Maybe.

I've just noticed that in social encounters generally, if you can forget yourself, because you're focusing on someone else, you tend to be more confident/less self conscious anyway.

But I agree, it must take a hell of a lot of guts to go up to someone when you're already feeling vulnerable.

I'm speaking from a more general perspective I suppose, of my own experience of meeting people generally. As someone who's naturally quite reserved, I've always found my self consciousness disappears when I concentrate on the other person.