singles thread

[feral chile]

Well, I'm 47 myself so need little mothering! So 50 would be within the target area. I don't know (and don't want to know!) what happens in Shades of Grey - especially since you shuddered. I don't mind the not taking control bit though as if I took control it would severely mess somebody's life up. I know because I've done it before - twice.

Badly written sadomasochism. developed from Twilight fan fiction. An erotic Mills and Boon romance with swooning female/dominant male.

There's a feminist debate going on at the moment whether reading badly written soft porn is liberating to women or perpetuating the sexist gender stereotypes.

Edited July 25, 2012 by feral chile

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Its really fucking simple. Stroll in pissed up at 2am with a half eaten bag of chips in your hand and a can in the other hand with vomit trickling down your chin and shout "GET UP THEM STAIRS".

I do something similar to that only there's nobody there to get up the stairs!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Badly written sadomasochism.

Sounds like you'd have to be a masochist to read it in the first place. Talking of which, I nearly went to an S & M bash once as a female friend is into it and asked me (and others) if we wanted to go. Got on the phone for tickets and they were sold out. That ended my foray into the S & M world. Thank the Lord!

[feral chile]

Well, I'm 47 myself so need little mothering! So 50 would be within the target area. I don't know (and don't want to know!) what happens in Shades of Grey - especially since you shuddered. I don't mind the not taking control bit though as if I took control it would severely mess somebody's life up. I know because I've done it before - twice.

Where are you looking to meet women? If it's at nightclubs, you're having to compete with noise levels so quiet thoughtful men are not likely to shine.

[feral chile]

Sounds like you'd have to be a masochist to read it in the first place. Talking of which, I nearly went to an S & M bash once as a female friend is into it and asked me (and others) if we wanted to go. Got on the phone for tickets and they were sold out. That ended my foray into the S & M world. Thank the Lord!

It could have been superb if written well. It was meant to be about an innocent young girl's introduction into sadomasochism by a damaged man. It could have been deeply dark and disturbing, and I'd have loved it. I only got through the first of the trilogy though, and the pain got too much. The pain of seeing a promising premise turned into a frothy one dimensional shallow piece of writing. And knowing that so many women absolutely loved it. The heroine was a complete wimp.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Where are you looking to meet women? If it's at nightclubs, you're having to compete with noise levels so quiet thoughtful men are not likely to shine.

To be fair I've not really been looking for a woman for the last 7 years! It's only recently I've thought I really should do something about being together with someone to share life with - both the good and bad bits. So I haven't really gone 'out on the pull' as it were. I don't really like night clubs and am far too old for most of them anyway - I really don't want to be around braying children when I'm out.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

It could have been superb if written well. It was meant to be about an innocent young girl's introduction into sadomasochism by a damaged man. It could have been deeply dark and disturbing, and I'd have loved it. I only got through the first of the trilogy though, and the pain got too much. The pain of seeing a promising premise turned into a frothy one dimensional shallow piece of writing. And knowing that so many women absolutely loved it. The heroine was a complete wimp.

I get what you are saying. An opportunity missed then by the author. Maybe they weren't skilled enough or imaginative enough to pull it off though. Whatever the state of play the author will no longer have to worry about the bills.

[feral chile]

To be fair I've not really been looking for a woman for the last 7 years! It's only recently I've thought I really should do something about being together with someone to share life with - both the good and bad bits. So I haven't really gone 'out on the pull' as it were. I don't really like night clubs and am far too old for most of them anyway - I really don't want to be around braying children when I'm out.

Some of my friends are single, and it's quite difficult to socialise and meet up with potential partners. If they go clubbing, there tend to be only young lads out not looking for anything serious - which is an ego boost for a mature woman in the short term, but counter productive in the long run.

Those who have successfully found someone have usually found someone online, where they've had the chance to chat with them first.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Some of my friends are single, and it's quite difficult to socialise and meet up with potential partners. If they go clubbing, there tend to be only young lads out not looking for anything serious - which is an ego boost for a mature woman in the short term, but counter productive in the long run.

Those who have successfully found someone have usually found someone online, where they've had the chance to chat with them first.

That may well be the way forward. I'll give it some thought. Thanks feral

[worm]

That in itself is always a minefield. And invariably ends up in the female losing a much valued friend when the male walks away.

And it's far more difficult for an attractive woman to make male friends, because they don't really see her for the person she is. They're distracted by appearances.

I believe in chivalry, but that's only because I'm the most chivalrous person I know and I'm a bit of an egotist - obviously - so I equate it to others.

Men are attracted to the emotional state of a woman, not her physical appearance. Only bottom feeders are attracted to attractive women. Alphas are more intelligent and sense the state as it refers to the chance. Men have foresight, women have the needs of the here and now.

Edited July 25, 2012 by worm

[worm]

Agghh, no wonder I'm single. I'm completely crap at being confident, apart from the confidence that I indeed possess no confidence. Surely there's got to be some woman out there whose attracted to a complete spanner!

Stop caring. Stop looking. Stop giving a shit.

Watch them flock.

[worm]

Its really fucking simple. Stroll in pissed up at 2am with a half eaten bag of chips in your hand and a can in the other hand with vomit trickling down your chin and shout "GET UP THEM STAIRS".

You married?

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Stop caring. Stop looking. Stop giving a shit.

Watch them flock.

I've been doing just that for the last 7 years and I have yet to see a squadron of females descend on me. The thing is I now think it may be time to do just the opposite ie to start caring, start looking and also to muster up enough strength to give a shit. Thanks though, because I knew the advice was well intended.

[worm]

I've been doing just that for the last 7 years and I have yet to see a squadron of females descend on me. The thing is I now think it may be time to do just the opposite ie to start caring, start looking and also to muster up enough strength to give a shit. Thanks though, because I knew the advice was well intended.

I'm not entirely sure I believe you.

Give a shit about what you're into. Commit yourself to what you like and/or are good at. Serendipity is the strongest force in getting it right. Do what you are passionate about and someone will present themselves. If that is looking for another person then all you'll find is another person trying to care while desperately looking for another person.

'Be that that you truly are'

[Katster]

Thank you.

I feel like total and utter shit.

I still love him deeply but there are just too many small things wrong that have multiplied into one massive impossible thing and when I returned from SGP and didn't feel pleased to see him and he confirmed that the feeling was pretty mutual, I just had to call it a day. He was willing to keep trying but I just dont see the point when we have tried for ages already. When things are right you don't even have to try.

Totally gutted

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I'm not entirely sure I believe you.

Give a shit about what you're into. Commit yourself to what you like and/or are good at. Serendipity is the strongest force in getting it right. Do what you are passionate about and someone will present themselves. If that is looking for another person then all you'll find is another person trying to care while desperately looking for another person.

'Be that that you truly are'

Not sure why you don't believe me. I have nothing to gain by coming on here being dishonest.

Your right though in that I've got to focus on doing something I'm passionate about. I do need to get up off my arse on that one. Maybe it would lead to something.

[feral chile]

Thank you.

I feel like total and utter shit.

I still love him deeply but there are just too many small things wrong that have multiplied into one massive impossible thing and when I returned from SGP and didn't feel pleased to see him and he confirmed that the feeling was pretty mutual, I just had to call it a day. He was willing to keep trying but I just dont see the point when we have tried for ages already. When things are right you don't even have to try.

Totally gutted

I'm a firm believer in following your gut instincts. If you feel parting was preferable to staying together, it's probably the right decision.

I hope you can stay friends.

[feral chile]

Not sure why you don't believe me. I have nothing to gain by coming on here being dishonest.

Your right though in that I've got to focus on doing something I'm passionate about. I do need to get up off my arse on that one. Maybe it would lead to something.

It does tend to creep up on you when you're not looking - if you follow your interests, you could well meet someone that way.

[feral chile]

I believe in chivalry, but that's only because I'm the most chivalrous person I know and I'm a bit of an egotist - obviously - so I equate it to others.

Men are attracted to the emotional state of a woman, not her physical appearance. Only bottom feeders are attracted to attractive women. Alphas are more intelligent and sense the state as it refers to the chance. Men have foresight, women have the needs of the here and now.

well whatever. All I know is that the only male friend I've ever managed to hang onto is the one I'm married to.

I wanted to be one of the lads, which of course is increasingly difficult as you get older. But even when young, my friend was always totally accepted as one of the boys, while I was only tolerated while they tried to work out which one I fancied. I was never taken at face value.

I remember in my teens, I was in the local park climbing around doing tomboy things, and a couple of boys came up to chat. I had short hair and a bomber jacket, and they mistook me for a boy, till I opened my mouth and they heard my voice. But it made me realise that men never accept women as part of the group. Their attitude towards another boy, and towards me as a girl, were totally different.

We don't want to be treated as 'other'.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Thank you.

I feel like total and utter shit.

I still love him deeply but there are just too many small things wrong that have multiplied into one massive impossible thing and when I returned from SGP and didn't feel pleased to see him and he confirmed that the feeling was pretty mutual, I just had to call it a day. He was willing to keep trying but I just dont see the point when we have tried for ages already. When things are right you don't even have to try.

Totally gutted

I wish I knew what to say but I don't really. All I can think of since I last experienced what you are going through is to tell you to lean on your family and friends for support, if possible. It's all raw now but time does heal.

[Katster]

I'm a firm believer in following your gut instincts. If you feel parting was preferable to staying together, it's probably the right decision.

I hope you can stay friends.

I could. I doubt very much he could though.

He is very black and white, within five minutes of us 'discussing' our issues he had cleared a full wardrobe into a suitcase

It's definitely the right thing for me, and I couldn't cope watching us go any further down the destruction road. I think too much of him for that. He is the nicest person with the biggest heart I have ever met in my whole entire life and I am probably being extremely stupid but we lost something somewhere along the line

[Katster]

I wish I knew what to say but I don't really. All I can think of since I last experienced what you are going through is to tell you to lean on your family and friends for support, if possible. It's all raw now but time does heal.

Thanks. Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family who will look out for me. It's not me I am worried about though

[worm]

Not sure why you don't believe me.

Because the greatest psychological factor in love and romance is denial.

[worm]

We don't want to be treated as 'other'.

Yet that's all we are.

[worm]

Totally gutted

Get thine self up north for a counsel. Similar boat my dear, as well you know, but one that has sailed. Let us take thine piss.

Edited July 25, 2012 by worm