singles thread

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Because the greatest psychological factor in love and romance is denial.

Because the greatest psychological factor in love and romance is denial.

Not too sure what I could be denying? I'm simply stating the facts as I see them through my minds eye.

[eFestivals]

It's really fucking simple. Women are attracted to confident men. That is, men who are confident in themselves. But they want to be included in that confidence and eventually be part of it. Once they sense that they aren't, they're off. Of course, looks and personal preference come into it, but they're all part of the unique persona that women are deep-routedly attracted to.

On being left by a woman, giving her the insecurity bit will scare her away to the point at which she thinks that you're a moron. Or if she lacks confidence, she'll keep you around as long as you say the right thing. She'll still want the intimacy, while she braves a new world. Staying close friends is a trap that will drain you.

You just have to fuck off and return to the confident person you were, while she turns into an ego-maniac full of female bravado for leaving you. The words 'let her get on with it' are the best I've ever heard. If a woman was truly over you, she'd cut all ties completely insted of dangling bait and then taking the opportunity to chastise you when you react. Just as if they were really into you to begin with, they'll make their way back once they feel your complete absense.

There's some theories on reverse psychology which fit, but they focus upon the idea that a woman leaves entirely because they lose their sexual attraction to you. I disagree. Some women can still be deeply sexually attracted to you, but fear it because they've learned that there are consequences they wish to break free from. Women in this situation tend to avoid indulging their sexuality with someone else and instead look for independence and empowerment in admiring themselves. They don't want to fall and most woman, no matter how bitchy, see sex as an emotional attachment of some kind.

great advice.

Or it would be, if not proven wrong by your single status.

[Katster]

Get thine self up north for a counsel. Similar boat my dear, as well you know, but one that has sailed. Let us take thine piss.

Thank you. And you know you are always welcome here for a change too.

I fear far too much piss will be taken by me over the coming weeks/months but it's nice to know people are out there wanting to piss with me.

He is now asking for one last chance to prove that things can be different. I really dont think they can and I don't think it should have taken this to make him realise that things had to

[worm]

Or it would be, if not proven wrong by your single status.

A bachelor of many years mate. Bachelors know best. They suffer few delusions.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

He is now asking for one last chance to prove that things can be different. I really dont think they can and I don't think it should have taken this to make him realise that things had to

Sometimes it takes something dramatic to happen to change ones perspective. I have read endless stories of how people with close shaves with death have re-evaluated their lives and decided what's important and what's not. Maybe this shock to the system has caused your boyfriend to re-evaluate and decide what's important and what's not. And he considers you both being happy together as now being a priority and is prepared to work at it. Just a thought. Even the most loving of relationships have to be worked on from time to time. That said, it's hard to fight ones gut feeling if it's telling you something else.

Apologies if this all sounds like a load of crap.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

A bachelor of many years mate. Bachelors know best. They suffer few delusions.

I think that's one of my problems in that the bachelors life isn't too complicated. You only have to think for one. It's just that I feel like I may be missing out on falling in love and sharing life with someone again. I don't know which is the better option but feel I should try to meet someone in order to find out, as I've done the bachelor bit for possible a little too long now.

[jump]

I think that's one of my problems in that the bachelors life isn't too complicated. You only have to think for one. It's just that I feel like I may be missing out on falling in love and sharing life with someone again. I don't know which is the better option but feel I should try to meet someone in order to find out, as I've done the bachelor bit for possible a little too long now.

A relationship and falling in love are two different thing and if you approach every girl with the intention of falling in love you're gonna be set up for a big fall.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

A relationship and falling in love are two different thing and if you approach every girl with the intention of falling in love you're gonna be set up for a big fall.

Yes, apologies I didn't make myself clear there. The falling in love bit was just me being greedy. I'd settle for a relationship. Thanks for the honest warning though. Appreciated.

[feral chile]

Sometimes it takes something dramatic to happen to change ones perspective. I have read endless stories of how people with close shaves with death have re-evaluated their lives and decided what's important and what's not. Maybe this shock to the system has caused your boyfriend to re-evaluate and decide what's important and what's not. And he considers you both being happy together as now being a priority and is prepared to work at it. Just a thought. Even the most loving of relationships have to be worked on from time to time. That said, it's hard to fight ones gut feeling if it's telling you something else.

Apologies if this all sounds like a load of crap.

Sound advice here. It's well worth considering this possibility - men do tend to coast along, thinking everything's fine, if there's no actual hassle going on.

[AcademicPistol]

Most girls like funny guys Yoghurt and you are a humorous guy

[jump]

Most girls like funny guys Yoghurt and you are a humorous guy

Feral is a girl tho.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Most girls like funny guys Yoghurt and you are a humorous guy

That's appreciated too. Thanks

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Feral is a girl tho.

I don't understand that statement jump. What am I missing? My life would be far easier if I was just that tinsy winsy bit brighter!

[feral chile]

I don't understand that statement jump. What am I missing? My life would be far easier if I was just that tinsy winsy bit brighter!

I think it was just that the post followed mine, so jump took 'Yogurt and you' to refer to me too. It needed some commas.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I think it was just that the post followed mine, so jump took 'Yogurt and you' to refer to me too. It needed some commas.

Ah, now I get it. Thanks for the explanation. I can stop scratching my head now.

[AcademicPistol]

My mistake folks what a difference a comma can make

Back to point I was try to put across to Yoghurt it's not all about image and confidence I find your posts genuinely witty (when your trying to be) and if you can translate how you across on these boards in your day to day life you find happiness man.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

My mistake folks what a difference a comma can make

Back to point I was try to put across to Yoghurt it's not all about image and confidence I find your posts genuinely witty (when your trying to be) and if you can translate how you across on these boards in your day to day life you find happiness man.

The thing is I am like I am on the boards in my day to day life when it concerns my mates. I'm a bit too professional when I'm at work. I could do with lightening up a little there I suppose. I'm not massively unhappy. It's more of an unfulfilled feeling, and I think that missing something is not being in a relationship with someone.

I guess it doesn't help that I live on my own and mostly work from home on my own so I don't interact with other people a lot. It sounds sad but there was one point when I used to go to the supermarket just to be near people! I think I need to get off this computer more and get out more.

[worm]

Sometimes it takes something dramatic to happen to change ones perspective. I have read endless stories of how people with close shaves with death have re-evaluated their lives and decided what's important and what's not. Maybe this shock to the system has caused your boyfriend to re-evaluate and decide what's important and what's not. And he considers you both being happy together as now being a priority and is prepared to work at it. Just a thought. Even the most loving of relationships have to be worked on from time to time. That said, it's hard to fight ones gut feeling if it's telling you something else.

Apologies if this all sounds like a load of crap.

The stages of grief:

Isolation - Shock - Denial

Bargaining

Anger

Depression

Acceptance

Hate to be cold, but chances are he's just bargaining.

[worm]

The thing is I am like I am on the boards in my day to day life when it concerns my mates. I'm a bit too professional when I'm at work. I could do with lightening up a little there I suppose. I'm not massively unhappy. It's more of an unfulfilled feeling, and I think that missing something is not being in a relationship with someone.

I guess it doesn't help that I live on my own and mostly work from home on my own so I don't interact with other people a lot. It sounds sad but there was one point when I used to go to the supermarket just to be near people! I think I need to get off this computer more and get out more.

Aye, similar story with me. Stop focusing on unfullfilment and and self-analysis. Just be.

[AcademicPistol]

The thing is I am like I am on the boards in my day to day life when it concerns my mates. I'm a bit too professional when I'm at work. I could do with lightening up a little there I suppose. I'm not massively unhappy. It's more of an unfulfilled feeling, and I think that missing something is not being in a relationship with someone.

I guess it doesn't help that I live on my own and mostly work from home on my own so I don't interact with other people a lot. It sounds sad but there was one point when I used to go to the supermarket just to be near people! I think I need to get off this computer more and get out more.

It's an obvious solution and effective one as i've out found lately just getting out with mates again when you can just to feel out the world again. There is plenty of opportunity and discovery out there to be had, it seems you may need to push to allow yourself to embrace it fully perhaps.

[feral chile]

Aye, similar story with me. Stop focusing on unfullfilment and and self-analysis. Just be.

While I can sympathise with this sentiment, it's difficult just being when you're feeling restless and your mind's telling you you're in a state of want but unsure what it is you want.

Sartre's lack without an object.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

it's difficult just being when you're feeling restless and your mind's telling you you're in a state of want but unsure what it is you want.

That's me in a nut shell. Mind you I've been like it all my life. You'd think I'd be used to it by now! I guess I'm thinking that I'd better do something before time runs out. It would be terrible to get to your death bed not having tried.

[feral chile]

That's me in a nut shell. Mind you I've been like it all my life. You'd think I'd be used to it by now! I guess I'm thinking that I'd better do something before time runs out. It would be terrible to get to your death bed not having tried.

Everyone feels like this sometimes, whether you're in a stable relationship or not.

I've had a couple of times when I feel like I've woken up, and wanted more out of life, but not known what.

The first time, it was going to uni. The second time, it was music. I think, both times, it was a reaching out towards like minded people. A need to congregate in a larger group than the nuclear family. And that's coming from someone who's happily married. One person can't fulfil all the needs of another human being. We're social animals, most of us.

In some ways, the internet's great for sharing ideas and thoughts. But I wonder whether it can satisfy our need for social contact, being virtual and all.

(edited to correct who's from whose - for some reason I can't spell when I'm typing - weird)

Edited July 26, 2012 by feral chile

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Everyone feels like this sometimes, whether you're in a stable relationship or not.

I've had a couple of times when I feel like I've woken up, and wanted more out of life, but not known what.

The first time, it was going to uni. The second time, it was music. I think, both times, it was a reaching out towards like minded people. A need to congregate in a larger group than the nuclear family. And that's coming from someone who's happily married. One person can't fulfil all the needs of another human being. We're social animals, most of us.

In some ways, the internet's great for sharing ideas and thoughts. But I wonder whether it can satisfy our need for social contact, being virtual and all.

(edited to correct who's from whose - for some reason I can't spell when I'm typing - weird)

It's the not knowing what which is the killer. I really have been plagued with it for too long.

I agree totally with what you are saying about us being social. I'm never happier than when I'm with my family and friends. They really are the most important thing in life - as well as your health. Everything else is a bonus.

[feral chile]

It's the not knowing what which is the killer. I really have been plagued with it for too long.

I agree totally with what you are saying about us being social. I'm never happier than when I'm with my family and friends. They really are the most important thing in life - as well as your health. Everything else is a bonus.

i sympathise - and recognise the feeling. I've been lucky that I've always found a hobby or an interest that I can obsess over until the feeling goes away. Though I suspect that the interest is arbitrary, and it's the distraction that's important.

(I'm straying into existentialist territory here - culty'll recognise the rerference, I'm sure).

Edited July 26, 2012 by feral chile