singles thread

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I think for me, because I've got to know guys before losing weight, they've been completely at ease with me, but you can tell they haven't known how to react after the weight loss. They've been more self conscious, there's been a barrier there. It cuts both ways, too, because I start to question my own behaviour, in case they think I'm hitting on them.

Oh dear, it's a bloody minefield isn't it! I kind of have a secret non sexual relationship with a woman. None of my friends or family have seen her or know of her. I just meet up with her every now and again over a meal or coffee and discuss our lives and everyday things really. Although she is an attractive woman I don't lust after her. One of the reasons for that is that I knew if it led to a relationship it would be a disaster. Then again I'm on strong medication which I think is supressing a lot of urges. Maybe I'd think far more differently towards her otherwise. Hope I wouldn't but could it be helped? Are us blokes just wired up to want to copulate like most other male animals?

[AcademicPistol]

Are us blokes just wired up to want to copulate like most other male animals?

I believe so generally particularly younger males. Most animals mate and move on to have a large amount of offspring, where humans have such a range of complex emotions and ever evolving intelligence which has lead us to be the most dominant species on earth.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I believe so generally particularly younger males. Most animals mate and move on to have a large amount of offspring, where humans have such a range of complex emotions and ever evolving intelligence which has lead us to be the most dominant species on earth.

Are we really that dominant though? My mate says the ants have it. That we'll fuck ourselves up and they'll take over. Mind you he is barmy! Oh and yes, I have had a drink. Hope your all enjoying your weekend.

[Purple Monkey]

But there's much more to life than sex.

Yeah there's also death.

[AcademicPistol]

Are we really that dominant though? My mate says the ants have it. That we'll fuck ourselves up and they'll take over. Mind you he is barmy! Oh and yes, I have had a drink. Hope your all enjoying your weekend.

Yes we are our brains are much more developed than other animals but yeah we have made plenty of mistakes and could get over run one day who knows...

Regarding ants they have exceptional strength for their size and brilliant teamwork and communication and if they had our size they could probably take over!

Edited July 28, 2012 by AcademicPistol

[feral chile]

Are us blokes just wired up to want to copulate like most other male animals?

I'm always a bit wary of evolutionary theory used to back up existing cultural stereotypes, so take this with a pinch of salt:

http://www.psycholog...be-just-friends

Within these boundaries of gender generalizations, the vast majority of post-pubescent, heterosexual men will invariably have a sexual desirability "reflex" upon seeing a female of reproductive age. Thus the immediate discrimination that a male will make when encountering a female is whether or not he'd like to have sex with her. While some women might acknowledge this sexual "reflex" too, it is likely that they can quickly get past it and focus on the non-sexual aspects of the male with whom they're relating.

Unless you're fat.

Edited July 28, 2012 by feral chile

[Rufus Gwertigan]

Everyone feels like this sometimes, whether you're in a stable relationship or not.

I've had a couple of times when I feel like I've woken up, and wanted more out of life, but not known what.

The first time, it was going to uni. The second time, it was music. I think, both times, it was a reaching out towards like minded people. A need to congregate in a larger group than the nuclear family. And that's coming from someone who's happily married. One person can't fulfil all the needs of another human being. We're social animals, most of us.

In some ways, the internet's great for sharing ideas and thoughts. But I wonder whether it can satisfy our need for social contact, being virtual and all.

(edited to correct who's from whose - for some reason I can't spell when I'm typing - weird)

I have really changed the way I interact with people. I used to appear gregarious and always wanting to go out etc, yet that was the front of an introvert. Outside of work I don't socialise at all any more, the only contact that I have with people is through social media. It has been mentioned to me that it could be a symptom of my bi polar, but I am really happy this way and feel really comfortable.

[feral chile]

I have really changed the way I interact with people. I used to appear gregarious and always wanting to go out etc, yet that was the front of an introvert. Outside of work I don't socialise at all any more, the only contact that I have with people is through social media. It has been mentioned to me that it could be a symptom of my bi polar, but I am really happy this way and feel really comfortable.

I'm going through a staying in phase at the moment. Mind you, I've often thought (as I've said frequently) that I might have some kind of bipolar type thing going on myself.

I go from hibernation, which I'm at now (unusual for me at this time of year) to completely hyper stages, where I want to be out meeting people, staying up well past my bedtime partying hard etc.

At the moment, though, I'm keeping in touch with people online rather than in person. And even meeting for lunch every month or so seems like a big effort.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I'm always a bit wary of evolutionary theory used to back up existing cultural stereotypes, so take this with a pinch of salt:

I think we probably are wired up that way whether we like it or not. I had my first sexual feelings as a young boy. It just arrived on my door step and wasn't, to my mind, influenced by any external agent.

As an aside, while at a family Sunday lunch one of my brothers, who was a child at the time, declared to all and sundry that his willy was doing 'wheelies'. We all turned around to see that he had a stiffy. There wasn't much said at the table after that. It was very muted. lol

[feral chile]

I think we probably are wired up that way whether we like it or not. I had my first sexual feelings as a young boy. It just arrived on my door step and wasn't, to my mind, influenced by any external agent.

As an aside, while at a family Sunday lunch one of my brothers, who was a child at the time, declared to all and sundry that his willy was doing 'wheelies'. We all turned around to see that he had a stiffy. There wasn't much said at the table after that. It was very muted. lol

Oh bless him! We had books explaining what would happen, and read them to the kids like bedtime stories.

Which meant as a teenager my daughter would ring up with questions, usually regarding her boyfriend's bits, with her boyfriend present. Goodness knows what the poor boy thought!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Oh bless him! We had books explaining what would happen, and read them to the kids like bedtime stories.

Which meant as a teenager my daughter would ring up with questions, usually regarding her boyfriend's bits, with her boyfriend present. Goodness knows what the poor boy thought!

The only formal type education I received on sex etc was in the 6th form at secondary school ( a bit late in the day I'd say that was - for some anyway). Before that I was exposed (for good or bad) to magazines that my older brothers had. I haven't got a family of my own, but your approach with the books seems like the proper way to go for younger chidren.

[feral chile]

The only formal type education I received on sex etc was in the 6th form at secondary school ( a bit late in the day I'd say that was - for some anyway). Before that I was exposed (for good or bad) to magazines that my older brothers had. I haven't got a family of my own, but your approach with the books seems like the proper way to go for younger chidren.

i think it was The Body Book by Claire Raynor, I remember it was really well written and matter of fact.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

i think it was The Body Book by Claire Raynor, I remember it was really well written and matter of fact.

Just what you would expect from Claire Raynor. A little late in the day for me to need to purchase it. I occasionally wonder what life would have been like with a family of my own. The only thing I can conclude is that it would have been dramatically different.

[feral chile]

Just what you would expect from Claire Raynor. A little late in the day for me to need to purchase it. I occasionally wonder what life would have been like with a family of my own. The only thing I can conclude is that it would have been dramatically different.

It's a huge change. You can't really do anything on impulse any more, because you have other people to think about. Even now mine are all grown, they're still within my consciousness at all times.

You're never free of the buggers lol

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

It's a huge change. You can't really do anything on impulse any more, because you have other people to think about. Even now mine are all grown, they're still within my consciousness at all times.

You're never free of the buggers lol

Yes, but I expect the pay back enormously outweighs the limitation on freedom. I'm OK with not having had a family though, which is a blessing. I feel for those who wanted one and couldn't for whatever reason.

[feral chile]

Yes, but I expect the pay back enormously outweighs the limitation on freedom. I'm OK with not having had a family though, which is a blessing. I feel for those who wanted one and couldn't for whatever reason.

It is.

It's quite strange at first sharing your head with other people. Especially for me, as I was an only child brought up by grandparents. So I wasn't used to the whole family thing really.

My marriage and my children are the only things I've ever stuck to - I'm a bit of a walker otherwise - I don't stick around if I'm not happy doing something. And I'm not usually big on all the guilt-morals, like duty and responsibility.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

It is.

It's quite strange at first sharing your head with other people. Especially for me, as I was an only child brought up by grandparents. So I wasn't used to the whole family thing really.

My marriage and my children are the only things I've ever stuck to - I'm a bit of a walker otherwise - I don't stick around if I'm not happy doing something. And I'm not usually big on all the guilt-morals, like duty and responsibility.

I'm the product of Irish parents with a strong Roman Catholic belief. So I'm used to having a large family around me (I have 4 brothers). Fortunately it's a loving family. The Roman Catholic thing screwed me about a bit for a good number of years though.

I still have the guilt morals though. Would love to be free of them but don't think it'll ever happen.

[feral chile]

I'm the product of Irish parents with a strong Roman Catholic belief. So I'm used to having a large family around me (I have 4 brothers). Fortunately it's a loving family. The Roman Catholic thing screwed me about a bit for a good number of years though.

I still have the guilt morals though. Would love to be free of them but don't think it'll ever happen.

I escaped those to a large extent. When I was told off it was 'what will the neighbours think' or 'you have a mind of your own, you do' which I tended to think of as good things anyway.

I don't believe in hurting anyone if you can avoid it, that's about it really.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I don't believe in hurting anyone if you can avoid it, that's about it really.

Well that's a reasonable perspective. Wouldn't you add to it things like honesty, integrity, thoughtfulness, compassion?

[feral chile]

Well that's a reasonable perspective. Wouldn't you add to it things like honesty, integrity, thoughtfulness, compassion?

They tend to go with the first one. because if you're insincere and thoughtless you hurt people. I try to behave to people as I'd like them to behave towards me. If I'd be hurt, I try not to do it.

But of course I'm human and fallible so screw up a lot of the time too.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I was brought up by parents who tought me through their own actions to be kind to people. This perspective was re-enforced within me when I first saw a close friends parents at work. I found out that a tramp who used to walk regularly in the area of our houses was put up by his parents in the winter. The tramp never wanted to go in the house but was happy to stay in the garage. So they put a mattress and blankets in the garage, put food into it and the door was left open for him to come and go as he pleased. It was acts like this which I saw as a young child that formed the way I try to be. I too am only human though and have failed on occassion.

[feral chile]

I was brought up by parents who tought me through their own actions to be kind to people. This perspective was re-enforced within me when I first saw a close friends parents at work. I found out that a tramp who used to walk regularly in the area of our houses was put up by his parents in the winter. The tramp never wanted to go in the house but was happy to stay in the garage. So they put a mattress and blankets in the garage, put food into it and the door was left open for him to come and go as he pleased. It was acts like this which I saw as a young child that formed the way I try to be. I too am only human though and have failed on occassion.

That's a nice story. Not many people would do that.

[worm]

The other one is 'what are you thinking?'

he's a man - he's probably waiting blankly for the next sexual fantasy to flit into his mind.

They only ever ask that once with me.

[worm]

I'm no expert (as is obvious) but wouldn't severing communication with your ex eventually allow you that piece of mind? Can't see how you'll get it while she f*cks with your mind like that.

Stating the obvious. Kind of hard when it's your cousin though eh. The girl will not leave me alone, yet has had the power to tell me to leave her alone. Awesome situation. Hilarious, in truth.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Stating the obvious. Kind of hard when it's your cousin though eh. The girl will not leave me alone, yet has had the power to tell me to leave her alone. Awesome situation. Hilarious, in truth.

Apologies for stating the obvious. I mentioned it because when your in a situation like yours you can't often see the wood for the trees. In addition there's the possibility of a masochistic element to it. I used to let my ex torture me because I wanted it for some reason. I think I thought I deserved it and actually relished in it to begin with (I think). Are you possibly doing the same letting her have the power. Just a thought.

Hard when it's your cousin. It's only hard if you want it to be. One of my older brothers shagged one of my ex's (after we were going out I hasten to say) and I couldn't have cared less because it was something between them. I'd moved on.