singles thread

[WS_Jack_III]

I've come to realise I must he hopeless at reading the signs.

I seem to misinterpret things quite often.

[kaosmark2]

I've come to realise I must he hopeless at reading the signs.

I seem to misinterpret things quite often.

I realised that years ago. Still haven't had a relationship worth calling such.

[Katster]

Most people are crap at reading the signs. I wonder what the ratio of people in happy relationships to single/unhappy relationships is? Whilst I am happy now I would take being single over 'its complicated' any day of the week! I just found out a friends wife is pregnant...with another mans baby. They have only been married a year. Sod that!

[WS_Jack_III]

Most people are crap at reading the signs. I wonder what the ratio of people in happy relationships to single/unhappy relationships is? Whilst I am happy now I would take being single over 'its complicated' any day of the week! I just found out a friends wife is pregnant...with another mans baby. They have only been married a year. Sod that!

Bloody hell.

My best friend (and former girlfriend from my teenage years) is so desperate go get married and have kids she's considering going back to the relationship that made her so unhappy. I keep telling her that she has done so much with her life since she ended it and I can't understand why she is in such a rush with life. She's 23 same as me.

She'll end up married with kids and a divorce by her mid 30s and she deserves so much more than that, but it'll happen because she is rushing and she'll pick the wrong guy.

[Katster]

One thing I am extremely proud of in myself is lack of ex husbands and children with different fathers. Each to their own and I don't think badly of others who have those things but for me it was never something I wanted for myself. Don't get me wrong, I have a number of ex's (not too many) but I was never going to have kids with someone unless I was 100% sure about them. If things don't work out with me and Dan I know already I will never be as happy as I have been over the past two years and I will never want anybody else's children. I knew a decade ago he was the person I was supposed to be with, the time just wasn't right for either of us back then. Awww.

Unhappy relationships though, way worse than the fun and freedom of being single. My advice is get out there and enjoy yourself. Don't be bitter, it's a big world.

[kaosmark2]

the fun and freedom of being single.

It gets bloody lonely. Especially when most of your friends (either gender) are in relationships.

[WS_Jack_III]

It gets bloody lonely. Especially when most of your friends (either gender) are in relationships.

That's what is killing me at the moment. Nearly all my friends at Glasto this year brought their partners or were on the phone to them at some point.

[kaosmark2]

That's what is killing me at the moment. Nearly all my friends at Glasto this year brought their partners or were on the phone to them at some point.

It hits doubly, because on one count it's a reminder that you don't have someone important in your life, and on another it means that they (understandably) spend less time with you. Crapness.

[zero000]

It gets bloody lonely. Especially when most of your friends (either gender) are in relationships.

That's what is killing me at the moment. Nearly all my friends at Glasto this year brought their partners or were on the phone to them at some point.

It hits doubly, because on one count it's a reminder that you don't have someone important in your life, and on another it means that they (understandably) spend less time with you. Crapness.

Chin up guys. Being single can be shit, but it can equally be a barrel of laughs, it's a lot about what you make of it. Jumping at the first person who shows an interest (if you can clock it at all), isn't the best idea.

It can be crap having loads of friends who are in relationships , but it can also be an opportunity to meet new people; AKA your mates' girlfriends' much hotter friend he wishes he'd chosen in the first place

EDIT: I'm pretty pissed so sorry for the rambling!

Edited July 4, 2014 by zero000

[Katster]

See, I never really felt much loneliness when I was on my own. I did things like volunteering at festivals where I met people and also once took myself off to Italy to work as an au pair, I went to a beer festival where I knew one person before but loads afterwards. As zero says, it's what you make of it - focus on the positives

[Katster]

See, I never really felt much loneliness when I was on my own. I did things like volunteering at festivals where I met people and also once took myself off to Italy to work as an au pair, I went to a beer festival where I knew one person before but loads afterwards. As zero says, it's what you make of it - focus on the positives

[WS_Jack_III]

See, I never really felt much loneliness when I was on my own. I did things like volunteering at festivals where I met people and also once took myself off to Italy to work as an au pair, I went to a beer festival where I knew one person before but loads afterwards. As zero says, it's what you make of it - focus on the positives

I went to Nashville for 5 months 2 years ago. Was great, would have been a lot different if I had a girlfriend.

[Katster]

Different better or different worse? You really have no way of knowing so I hope you just cracked on and enjoyed it

[WS_Jack_III]

Different better or different worse? You really have no way of knowing so I hope you just cracked on and enjoyed it

I knew that didn't come out clear. Not necessarily worse but it would have been a different experience for sure. I'm agreeing with something you said earlier about how it can be fun to be single.

[WS_Jack_III]

http://elitedaily.com/dating/hookup-culture-non-relationship-generation-getting-nowhere/664654/ spotted this earlier. It's so very true.

[kaosmark2]

http://elitedaily.com/dating/hookup-culture-non-relationship-generation-getting-nowhere/664654/ spotted this earlier. It's so very true.

I agree with the points generally, but I really hate how it's geared towards "guys are the reason for this culture". I've had a number of instances where I've made an effort to court and got rejected, and when trying to find some info as to why it's been "you came on too strong" or "you were too old-fashioned" or "too serious". I have little interest in a casual hookup, I want a girlfriend, but it seems incredibly hard to find that and I think this article puts far too much responsibility on men for the cultural problems with having serious dating.

[WS_Jack_III]

I agree with the points generally, but I really hate how it's geared towards "guys are the reason for this culture". I've had a number of instances where I've made an effort to court and got rejected, and when trying to find some info as to why it's been "you came on too strong" or "you were too old-fashioned" or "too serious". I have little interest in a casual hookup, I want a girlfriend, but it seems incredibly hard to find that and I think this article puts far too much responsibility on men for the cultural problems with having serious dating.

yeah i agree with you.

I often feel i fall into some of things this article is stating because it seems the way you have to do it now. All this game playing and stuff. But yeah i agree with you, the ladies are equally to blame for the situation.

[kaosmark2]

yeah i agree with you.

I often feel i fall into some of things this article is stating because it seems the way you have to do it now. All this game playing and stuff. But yeah i agree with you, the ladies are equally to blame for the situation.

I think it's a crap culture. I've tried the games referenced a couple of times but it's felt far worse than being genuine and getting rejected. I think the article's poorly written as it puts the blame completely on one gender, when I think it's a general cultural issue, rather than either gender.

[jump]

I disagree with the article about the non-chalant attitude, I find it's better to simply "hang out" to see if you have chemistry between the two of you than rather going out on a first date we you make empty chit-chat between chewing or after a film where you've been in silence for over an hour. Once that's over you can start making dates as I always found it's forced and rigid otherwise imo.

I do agree with what it says guys should have the balls just to ask girls but take it step further and have the girls ask too, that's what my girlfriend did and apparently she normally wouldn't have done that as it's a sign that the girl is a whore or something bullshit like that.

[kaosmark2]

I disagree with the article about the non-chalant attitude, I find it's better to simply "hang out" to see if you have chemistry between the two of you than rather going out on a first date we you make empty chit-chat between chewing or after a film where you've been in silence for over an hour. Once that's over you can start making dates as I always found it's forced and rigid otherwise imo.

I do agree with what it says guys should have the balls just to ask girls but take it step further and have the girls ask too, that's what my girlfriend did and apparently she normally wouldn't have done that as it's a sign that the girl is a whore or something bullshit like that.

I agree that having a long first date before working out if you have chemistry is a bad idea, but coffee or lunch can stop it being a lot more forced.

The "guys should always do the asking" thing is bollocks as well. I don't think any girl that asks a guy out is "pushy" or "whorish" or whatever. I don't know any guy that would think like that either.

[LondonTom]

I don't get the problem, I don't think I've ever actually asked a girl (sober at least )...Any girl I've dated, I've just sort started hanging around with more and more. I've done it that much, I've started think dates only excisted in films and TV!

To tell the truth, something pointed out as a date scares the living bejesus out of me!

Anyway if girls want sosmething more serious etc, they should stop all the games etc and ask men out properly themselves instead of leaving us to either be rejected or face claims of just wanting to get into girls pants and not doing enough.

[kaosmark2]

Any girl I've dated, I've just sort started hanging around with more and more.

I've never worked out how the hell that transitions into romance. "It just kinda happened" confuses the hell out of me.

[LondonTom]

I've never worked out how the hell that transitions into romance. "It just kinda happened" confuses the hell out of me.

I wouldn't call it romance as such, but I am not really a romancing sort of person

Its hard to say exacly what it is , it just sort of feels right at the time (normally drunk mind ) and just continues building from a one off, kind of like that was fun, lets try it again

[jump]

I've never worked out how the hell that transitions into romance. "It just kinda happened" confuses the hell out of me.

I find it's normally because they fancied each other but neither had to the balls to do something about till then, they actually got to know each other or they were bored and decided to play naked wrestling to kill time.

[feral chile]

The first thing I thought when I read that article, about 'how it should be done' and guys then going all defensive, 'do you think maybe we could maybe get together some day some time only if it's OK with you and if you don't take offence that I'm not asking too directly/not being pushy/etc.' was that women must be being really awkward and hard to please these days, if men can't just say, 'I like you, I'd like to get to know you better, when's a good time to meet?'

I got the feeling that men just can't win, they're either too pushy or too casual.

Surely, if you like someone, you're just glad they asked?