The Joke Thread

[grumpyhack]

I make no apologies for this

 

[Skip997]

I bought a dog from the local blacksmith.

As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the back door.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

On 9/13/2023 at 10:10 AM, Skip997 said:

I bought a dog from the local blacksmith.

As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the back door.

I tip my hat to you Sir.

I haven't been on this thread for donkeys. 

My problem is that I liked your joke that I have now forgotten the joke that I came on here to post.*

 

* It is, as I write, coming back to me a little. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

 

No, no it's not!

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Yes it is. 

Corny, but reassuringly so;

 

[Haz3ly_MC]

I accidentally mistook my neighbor's cat for my own and ended up trying to give it a bath! I mean, who knew there were two identical-looking black cats in the neighborhood? Needless to say, that little feline fiasco ended with me getting a few scratches and a lot of embarrassment 🐱

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Life keeps getting worse. Last night a thief stole the bottom left key off my laptop.

 

I've lost control.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I went into B & Q today, and some bloke in a black and orange apron asked me if I wanted decking. Fortunately, I'm pretty handy, and got the first punch straight in, and that was that. Other people may not have been as fortunate, and actually got assaulted in a situation like that. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I failed my ventriloquists exam.

I can’t say I’m surprised.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

.Re: Record Breakers TV program.

 

Dear Roy,

 

I've got this black plastic disc with a hole in the middle. Is this a record?

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I called the local council and asked if I could have a skip outside my house.

 

The lady replied, "Mate, you can do cartwheels and a handstand for all I care"