Films

[WS_Jack_III]

i think that's where Age Of Ultron fails - whilst the films that have preceded it have all tried to do something new to stop the whole superhero thing getting stale, because it's one of the biggies and has the large ensemble cast, it can't do anything but be a straight up superhero film really. hoping the switch in directors for the last one (two) will change this up a bit

but i would expect that from Avengers so i wouldn't be disappointed. Gonna go see it soon.

To be honest i expected it from the two i just watched, was pleasantly surprised at the different direction.

Edited May 3, 2015 by III

[jump]

Age of Ultron reminds me of Amazing Spiderman 2 and Spiderman 3, loads of angst but doesn't give any time to reflect on it properly as you have another character to shoehorn in the 3 hours. It's shame as there's some really great bits in there.

[Amy Lawn]

Look at all the bloody Star Wars in this video!

There really was very little Star Wars in the Star Wars prequels, but here, loads of Star Wars. You know what I mean?

[Icewulf]

Really looking forward to this.

So unbelievably excited for this film.

Fassbender was made to play a badass bounty-hunter killing cowboy.

[LondonTom]

There really was very little Star Wars in the Star Wars prequels, but here, loads of Star Wars. You know what I mean?

There was plenty of Star Wars in the prequels, just interlaced with a lot of shite.

Spent the weekend watching all the films in Machete order (http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/) for the first time. It works brilliant actually, though my younger self does have this craving for Episode I (might just watch the final lightsaber duel ).

What I've realised though, is that Episode II is the worst of the films, its absolutely a load of bollocks but can't really be skipped like Episode I. Also watching them together, you really notice George's inconsistencies in the Story, especially with III. You also really notice how shit the CGI sets in the prequels look, horrendous at times.

Overall the prequels are worth suffering for the Obi Wan Vs. Anakin fight and all 3 of the orginal trillogy are master pieces.

So atm from worst to best I am thinking:

Episode II

Episode I

Episode III

Episode IV

Episode VI

Episode V

Though Empire Strikes Back and RoTJ are fairly close, the Yoda training Luke does nothing for me and the Eworks being super cute in RoTJ ruins that one.

Edited May 5, 2015 by LondonTom

[Amy Lawn]

I find 2 and 3 utterly unwatchable, 3 in particular is something I regard as the worst film that can possibly exist, it makes me fucking angry. Episode I is something I can watch for the nostalgia value, it's obviously complete trash, but I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as the other two, and I loved it when it first came out (I was 9). There's bits in the podracing scene where it starts to feel a bit like a Star Wars film, there's the interesting novelty of some bits actually being filmed outside in the physical world, Yoda remains mercifully un-bastardised (although, why is he chief Jedi living on a city planet? In ESB he's clearly established as a nutty old crank who lives in the wilderness training Jedi and not getting into the mix of things, he shouldn't really have been in these films at all, but I digress). The Ep 1 lightsaber fight is the only one in the entire trilogy I find entertaining, the stakes are actually high because we have a threatening villain, and a character that we are invested in and know wont make it to the next films, and it doesn't go into the ridiculous realms of Yoda using evil Emperor lightning bolts and FUCKING BACKFLIPPING AROUND, and it's actually focused on the action and the characters rather than the Ep 3 fight, which is like watching somebody else play a video game with all the silly fucking lava shit and pointlessly hovering on robots.

Also, if you don't love the Ewoks, you're dead inside.

Magic.

[The Nal]

Magic.

That song is part of my childhood. Then Lucas went and ruined it with the re release. And adding Hayden in at the end was the final slap in the face.

Having watched all 6 over the last month or so, I think there are parts in the originals which are as bad as Jar Jar. 3PO is a pain in the arse in Jedi. "R2 don't leave meeeeee" etc. Just shit.

I like them all really apart from II which is fairly rubbish.

[TheGayTent]

I find 2 and 3 utterly unwatchable, 3 in particular is something I regard as the worst film that can possibly exist, it makes me fucking angry. Episode I is something I can watch for the nostalgia value, it's obviously complete trash, but I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as the other two,

Got to be trolling?

III >>>>>>>>>>>> I

[Amy Lawn]

Got to be trolling?

III >>>>>>>>>>>> I

What makes you say that? Episode I is at least somewhat self-contained, it closely follows a band of characters and attempts to get you invested in them (largely fails, it has to be said, but it tries). Ep III is just a half arsed way of getting the Empire set up and Darth in the suit, there's really not much struggle to get there. We care at least in some form about the characters we're following in Episode 1, it's established that the Naboo people and Gungans have a nice lush home that they will lose if they don't fight, we see their idyllic planet being stomped on by orrible evil robots and know this is something to fight against. We have no idea what the fight is for in Episode 3, it's just scenes of anonymous clones shooting droids in contextless CGI setting that we have no frame of reference for, the clones don't give a shit about that planet, they were grown in tunes and are all the same and don't matter, why do we give a shit if the droids get their hands on this planet or not? The Wookies are shown, but nothing of their culture or life on that planet getting overtaken, we're only invested there because we like Chewbacca, who is from a different film series. None of the characters we see die in Episode 3 really matter to us, Samuel L Jackson has only served to make a stern face and tell Anakin he's forbidden from shagging Natalie Portman, not bothered if the Emperor kills him, he's a w*nker. We know Obi Wan and Yoda wont die, no tension there. Anakin gets burned and put in a suit, we don't care, fuck him, he's been a whinging ballsack for two films, he's always been an evil shit, he never liked being a Jedi and always rowed with Obi-Wan, they never got on or had any rapport. Natalie Portman dies, do we feel for Anakin's loss there? No, he just sulked and stalked her, why do we care if they're together? Episode 1 has the scene of Anakin leaving his mum, that's a little kid leaving behind his mum, fair enough it's woefully done, but there's stuff at stake there, parental relationships are transcendent. We know it's good for him to leave because he's clearly gifted and it'll do him good to get out, but it's sad that he has to leave behind the only life he's ever known, that a classic coming of age story that makes sense when effectively employed. Liam Neeson died, him and Obi-Wan actually got on at times, and he was a good father figure for Anakin, Ewan's weeping there is much more believable than any of the stand-against-green-screen-and-wait-for-paycheck shit in 2 or 3. Then there's the Podracing, that's something exciting, something just done for the joy of it, which is not present in any other of the prequel films, there's things at stake in that race, there's character's we're invested in, and the design there actually resembles the steampunky design of the original trilogy, there's grit and grime in there.

Episode 3 has the protagonist mudering a bunch of children in cold blood, so enough said, really.

[Winslow Leach]

I'm with Lawn on this, II and III are both far worse than I. Episode I is a poor, poor film (and all different shades of racist too) but II and III are far worse.

But then I'm not mad keen on Return of the Jedi either. Anticlimactic and very flatly directed. You've had all that time to build up the Emperor and he's just a wrinkly old walnut in a cape? Do better.

Also, the only good thing Lucas did in his remasters was replace that awful Yub Nub song.

Edited May 5, 2015 by Winslow Leach

[Winslow Leach]

Overall the prequels are worth suffering for the Obi Wan Vs. Anakin fight and all 3 of the orginal trillogy are master pieces.

I hate that fight. I don't know why people criticise all of the other shoddy fight scenes in the prequels but give that one a free ride. There's nothing at stake, either emotionally (because the characters have about as many dimensions as Tekken) or physically (because the CGI looks awful).

Also it goes on for about a week. You could leave the cinema, have a nice three course meal, have a relaxing bath and fill in your tax returns and by the time you got back, they'd still be flipping and hacking away.

Edited May 5, 2015 by Winslow Leach

[Amy Lawn]

I'm with Lawn on this, II and III are both far worse than I. Episode I is a poor, poor film (and all different shades of racist too) but II and III are far worse.

But then I'm not mad keen on Return of the Jedi either. Anticlimactic and very flatly directed. You've had all that time to build up the Emperor and he's just a wrinkly old walnut in a cape? Do better.

Also, the only good thing Lucas did in his remasters was replace that awful Yub Nub song.

I reckon they should have got Bowie to play the Emperor. Could have given him all colourful robes with a huge popped collar and contact lenses that made his eyes look like a cat's, then he could hold a massive bitchin scepter and wave it around lots.

[Winslow Leach]

I reckon they should have got Bowie to play the Emperor. Could have given him all colourful robes with a huge popped collar and contact lenses that made his eyes look like a cat's, then he could hold a massive bitchin scepter and wave it around lots.

Or maybe some sort of 'suspiciously bulging tights and static-charged blonde hair extensions' look could have worked?

[The Nal]

Episode 3 has the protagonist mudering a bunch of children in cold blood, so enough said, really.

Episode 5 has an incest scene between two of the main characters.

On that actually, in the year or so between V and VI Luke presumably had a w*nk in that time. Or many w*nks. Since (to the viewers knowledge anyway) Luke didn't have a girlfriend during that time, his last contact was Leia. So, one would have to assume that he had a w*nk while thinking about his twin sister at some stage. Or maybe it was all the time.

Lucas is a sick bastard.

Also, the only good thing Lucas did in his remasters was replace that awful Yub Nub song.

Thats the only think I have severe issues with! Apart from Greedo shooting first which is absolutely unforgivable.

Edited May 5, 2015 by The Nal

[TheGayTent]

Episode I has JJB in. You lose.

[Amy Lawn]

Episode 5 has an incest scene between two of the main characters.

"incest ɪnsɛst

noun

sexual relations between people classed as being too closely related to marry each other.

the crime of having sexual intercourse with a parent, child, sibling, or grandchild."

It does, really? Blimey, the special edition VHS I had as a child really must have been radically different from the original release, then.

[viberunner]

the Yoda training Luke does nothing for me

the Eworks being super cute in RoTJ ruins that one.

(1) You are a terrible human bean.

(2) The mightiest humbled by the smallest. But cute? If it wasn't for C3-PO they'd have cooked and eaten the leadership of the Rebel Alliance.

[fred quimby]

Episode 5 has an incest scene between two of the main characters.

I see what you have done. Confused Game of Thrones with Star Wars

[Amy Lawn]

(1) You are a terrible human bean.

(2) The mightiest humbled by the smallest. But cute? If it wasn't for C3-PO they'd have cooked and eaten the leadership of the Rebel Alliance.

And they bludgeon an entire legion of the Emperor's best Stormtroopers to death.

[The Nal]

"incest ɪnsɛst

noun

sexual relations between people classed as being too closely related to marry each other.

the crime of having sexual intercourse with a parent, child, sibling, or grandchild."

It does, really? Blimey, the special edition VHS I had as a child really must have been radically different from the original release, then.

Snogging twins and then cracking out a unit to it later? Sick from Lucas.

[Amy Lawn]

Who's to say Luke wasn't giving it to C3PO when nobody was watching?

[The Nal]

Who's to say Luke wasn't giving it to C3PO when nobody was watching?

Theres no evidence for that but knowing how Lucas' mind works it wouldnt surprise me.

C3PO doesnt have an arse though so it wouldve had to be in the mouth.

[viberunner]

And they bludgeon an entire legion of the Emperor's best Stormtroopers to death.

The Force was with them.

[LondonTom]

I thought I'd give these replies more consideration than a quick reply at work, so now I am caught up and its took a turn I didn't expect!

I find 2 and 3 utterly unwatchable, 3 in particular is something I regard as the worst film that can possibly exist, it makes me fucking angry. Episode I is something I can watch for the nostalgia value, it's obviously complete trash, but I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as the other two, and I loved it when it first came out (I was 9). There's bits in the podracing scene where it starts to feel a bit like a Star Wars film, there's the interesting novelty of some bits actually being filmed outside in the physical world, Yoda remains mercifully un-bastardised (although, why is he chief Jedi living on a city planet? In ESB he's clearly established as a nutty old crank who lives in the wilderness training Jedi and not getting into the mix of things, he shouldn't really have been in these films at all, but I digress). The Ep 1 lightsaber fight is the only one in the entire trilogy I find entertaining, the stakes are actually high because we have a threatening villain, and a character that we are invested in and know wont make it to the next films, and it doesn't go into the ridiculous realms of Yoda using evil Emperor lightning bolts and FUCKING BACKFLIPPING AROUND, and it's actually focused on the action and the characters rather than the Ep 3 fight, which is like watching somebody else play a video game with all the silly fucking lava shit and pointlessly hovering on robots.

Also, if you don't love the Ewoks, you're dead inside.


Magic.

I feel pretty much the same about Episode I, terrible but hey I was young when it came out and it has that sense of child like wonder to it. Pod racing/Darth Maul being badass/dual of the fates.

Yoda showing off his actual skills rather than just being a crank is what everyone wanted to see! His this mystical great Jedi Master and the most we had seen him do was lift a X Wing out of the swamp?! Given his size, his back flips make perfect sense! The same as Obi Wan/Anakin in RoTS, it was a fabled fight from the OT that we wanted to see, the lava setting wasn't needed I guess but it did make it a bit more epic, considering we knew the outcome and gave a decent explanation for Vader's body Armour. (Though I am still not convinced after all the stuff they was jumping around, Obi Wan declaring he had the higher ground was anything great!).

If you didn't know the out come for the rest of the films, it would have been great!

Having watched all 6 over the last month or so, I think there are parts in the originals which are as bad as Jar Jar. 3PO is a pain in the arse in Jedi. "R2 don't leave meeeeee" etc. Just shit.

Actually thinking about it, rather than the Ewoks I think it was 3PO just being total annoyance. The Ewoks didn't need him to be their god, to give a largely irrelevant character something to do/a reason to be in the battle.

Episode 3 has the protagonist mudering a bunch of children in cold blood, so enough said, really.

To demonstrate his fall/corruption to the dark side! To show how far had fallen, from the 'good' of the Jedi!

I hate that fight. I don't know why people criticise all of the other shoddy fight scenes in the prequels but give that one a free ride. There's nothing at stake, either emotionally (because the characters have about as many dimensions as Tekken) or physically (because the CGI looks awful).

Also it goes on for about a week. You could leave the cinema, have a nice three course meal, have a relaxing bath and fill in your tax returns and by the time you got back, they'd still be flipping and hacking away.

I love all the light saber battles in the prequels, its the child in me I think wanting to be a Jedi So yeah yeah I was pretty happy with the week long finale!

(1) You are a terrible human bean.

(2) The mightiest humbled by the smallest. But cute? If it wasn't for C3-PO they'd have cooked and eaten the leadership of the Rebel Alliance.

They would have been slaughtered if the rebels hadn't shown compassion or thought the C3-PO could have got them out of it!

And they bludgeon an entire legion of the Emperor's best Stormtroopers to death.

Well, until Chewie took control of the AT-ST and used some actual firepower!

C3PO doesnt have an arse though so it wouldve had to be in the mouth.

Would be abit like hoover mind, considering it didn't move at all! Bet he just went for the metal hand job instead.

[Amy Lawn]

Stop getting Star Wars wrong, London Tom, you prequel enabler.